On Taking Time

‘Damn these city people, never know how to take their time!’’ 

I’ve always realized that most of the things The Professor said were agreeable with me. But that curse was one of the most agreeable. We were at some traffic light in Amsterdam when the lights just turned green, and just as the Professor was kicking in the gears, the car behind started honking deafeningly. 

‘’Where is he going so fast anyway? There are more traffic lights in front!’’, he asked me. A rhetorical question. I just shrugged. The car drove past us, and a few meters later we were next to him again, side by side before another red light. ‘’See?’’ The Professor said, satisfied that his prophecy was fulfilled. He was about to give him the looks, but his son warned him ‘’Careful dad, we might end up in a fight here’’.

His son has lived in Amsterdam for quite some time. He knew how the city people would react. The Professor has always lived in the outskirts, or in small towns where people are less aggressive and had more time. Living in Kuala Lumpur since I was born, I consider myself a city people, but I couldn’t agree more with the Professor’s philosophy about people always rushing around and getting nowhere. Two days spent in his house was enough to show me that. 

The Professor is the author of several books in ENT, which are used as textbooks in medical schools around the world, he is invited to almost all the prestigious ENT society meetings and conferences in the world, he has a happy family with equally successful children in different fields (one was a ballerina who’s internationally recognized, the other was an economist for one of the largest bank in the Netherlands, and others I couldn’t recall), and he made some important discoveries in the field of ENT. Yet, his life seems so simple, seems to always have ample amount of time, sometimes you just have to wonder how did he became so successful. He has a beautiful garden full of flowers and every morning he would smoke cigarette (okay, this one is not a good example) in his garden and admire its beauty. Then he would come in, have an espresso, turn on some jazz or blues music and sit to read. When some idea sinks in his mind he would get up into his study to write. Then he would get to work. On evenings he would take his dog for a walk around the neighbourhood. At night he sometimes cooks for his family.

His favourite mode of transport is walking, second by boat (you can get to anywhere in the Netherlands through the canals) and lastly by car, and his car is the smallest Volvo I’ve ever seen (about the size of a ‘Smart Fortwo’), and he likes that car because it is convenient and doesn’t takes much time finding for a parking space and getting it serviced. I loved his sense of simplicity.

Boats are common mode of transport in the Netherlands
Jazz might be a good choice to unwind

One of the evenings, as we were sipping coffee by the garden, he asked me about my plans after medical school. I told him the usual script, finishing medical school, undergo housemenship for 2 years, go on becoming an MO, then a specialist. ''Well that’s not very clever’’, he said. I wasn’t surprised, I got used to the way Dutch people tell things: direct and straight to the point. ‘’You’re still young, you know, there’s so much time left for you’’. He told me to learn something new. ‘’You can work when you’re older, but now at a young age is where you learn and let the creativity spark. You have much more energy’’. This idea might be so foreign to us, but that is how things are in most western countries. They take time to learn something new, take a year off to write, do research, get another degree not related to the ones before. I am not saying it’s the right way to do things, but it is very different from our culture of rushing from one phase of life to another. Finishing medical school ASAP, then finish houseman ASAP, get a specialist training ASAP, but in the end where are we going? Maybe taking a year off to work with some NGOs at the most desperate of places is more satisfying, or writing a monumental book that people will read long after you die, or do research that makes science forever indebted to you.

If there is a notion that busyness equals success, The Professor is the epitome of its fallacy. Maybe, in this modern world people always equate busyness with productivity. The busier you are (or you may seem) the more productive you are. Watching The Professor living his daily life begged me to differ. Some people strive so hard but are not going anywhere. Perhaps they are trying too hard doing insignificant things. Or maybe struggle too much in preparing things, but when the real moment that really counts: an interview, a presentation, or even a date, they falter. 

In economics, there is a law called ‘The Pareto’s Law’ which states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. In business, researches shown that in most companies, 80% of their sales come from only 20% of their products (cash cow products, as business people call it). Taking these principles into daily life, 80% of successes in life can be attributed to focusing on the 20% of efforts. Some people call this ‘The Law of Least Effort’. 

How many times have you a heard about students who seems to know everything crumbled in exams? Maybe they focused on the 80%, but neglected the 20% really matters: The gist of the theoretical knowledge that can be uttered flawlessly during presentations and exams. Or perhaps they neglected to simplify their knowledge into meaningful words for a stressful peri-exam brain. Or maybe about the story where someone tries to satisfy each and every one of her friend and fans but in the end neglected the 20% of people who really matter in their life? Or about the people who work so hard every day but ends up with a heart attack for failing to include exercising and eating healthy food into the crucial 20% of his life?

Identifying the 20% of things we need to put our efforts into is not easy, and differs from person to person. Someone might say that writing contributes to 80% of their success while they only spend 20% of their time doing it. Some say it is it includes reading, attending courses, spending time with family, exercising or joining a cause. I guess it all comes down to prioritization. Once you’ve identified the 20% if things to be prioritized, you will find that you actually have an abundance of time. Spend time on the 20% of things that matters and the rest will come by itself. May you become one of the most successful and happy people on earth

For The Professor, his 20% is writing and researching. His papers and books made him well-known all around the world. He realized that, and continued to focus his energy on that small portion of overall time. Hence, he has more time doing leisurely things with people he cares about. 

As we arrived at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam, he walked me to the departures. ‘’Well, it was nice having u to stay with us’’ he said. I don’t know how to thank him enough, but told him I appreciate his courtesy very much, and we waved goodbye. As he walked away, I can imagine him going back to his laid back life, taking his time, sipping coffee, having a laugh with family and friends, and some time when ideas arrive, he will be up in his study to write yet another masterpiece.

Trying out some shoes at Zaanstad's wooden shoe workshop
 

Bounce!

For the last two weeks, I essentially did two postings in one. With only one working ear, the other one discharging fluids, and did I mention my head is producing a constant ringing sound out of nowhere? There’s no big deal skipping classes more than a week in high school, but in medical school, a week is equivalent to a semester in high school. Plus, I am in my short postings where one posting lasts for only 2-3 weeks. I was admitted for more than a week, and by the time I get back to class my ophthalmology posting was ending and I have to go on with anaesthesiology. At first I thought of just going ‘the hell with it’, and repeat the whole semester. With constant headaches and vertigo, I even considered repeating the whole year! But I knew I’m better than that. I’ve been through some crazy things in life. Though nothing has been more painful than this (since the eardrum is one of the most innervated organs in our body, a perforated eardrum rated 9/10 on the pain scale, similar to having a heart attack, but of course less painful than giving childbirth), I can’t let this bring me down.

 

So I held on. Staying in the operating theatre learning anaesthesiology morning till evening, and continue with ophthalmology clinics till sunset, and continue writing case write ups for both postings at night. Filling log books for both postings, alternating between ophthalmology clinics looking into 20 pairs of eyes and presenting each one to the consultant, then enter the operating theater to observe spinal taps, dural taps and whatever else taps there is in this world. Then there's the mini clinical examination for ophthalmology and Basic Life Support examinations for anaesthesiology. Hell, I don’t even know how I did all those things in just two weeks. Well, there are nights where I just broke down into depression and ask the usual question of 'why is this happening to me?'. But to think of it, many great things also happened to me in the past, and how come I didn't ask 'why is all of these great things happening to me?' Everything that is sent down to me, whether it is a great thing or a disaster, is from the Almighty. Who am I to choose only the great things and fret upon the bad? I have to accept all that is given, good or bad, because I believe, in the end, everything that He sent down to me is for my own good. I just don't realize it yet. So to be fair, I just bounced. 

I am supposed to be in Denmark right now for the IFMSA General Assembly and in Hong Kong last week to do my presentation on Health Economics that I worked my ass off preparing for months. Both are burned now since my ears are busted and I can't ride a plane for some time. Well, they say that you can't always get what you want. But I will never stop trying, I will grow through this pain to be stronger and better than ever
 

Tinnnnnitus

It is one thing to lose a hearing in one ear, but it is another thing for it to be replaced by a constant ring. A stubborn ring. The more I request for silence, the louder it gets. My silence is now loud. But you know I won't give in

A Fork Stuck in the Road

I am a disabled whose scars will never heal
It is time for me to go upon a different path
The former me goes to die - which is better
Only God knows
For He has made me strong
But He makes me stronger yet

Things Are Looking Up: Thanks For The Wishes And Prayers

Dear everyone, thank you for the get well soon wishes and constant flow of visits to my ward room, especially to my parents and family members for being here most of the time. I can't express how blessed I am to have so many people who care. The past 3 days has been a true challenge, the injury took away half of my hearing, my balance and my ability to walk straight (I keep falling to the left). It takes huge amount of mind concentration to ignore the pain and ringing in my ear. Although my brain fluids (or CSF, for the medically inclined) are still leaking, the flow seems to be reducing by time. Things are getting better today, and hey, I can even write a note on FB using my BB! I am now on antibiotics to prevent infections which could be nasty if it reaches my brain. But let's just hope that won't happen.

So it has been 4 days since I've seen the sunlight. It's funny how when I am healthy I set my goals so high, contemplating the next big thing to do, but now all I want is to see the sunlight. I can only guess the weather outside from the sounds of wind or rain going through the bathroom ventilator. I wish I can just go out and appreciate the weather, but I can't walk without risking a fall, and hence risking further CSF leakage. What I want is just to see the world outside, listen to music with both my ears, and walk to anywhere I want to without risking a fall. Who cares about the sounds of Optimus Prime transforming? I just want to hear the sound of the winds. Oh, how we always take things for granted when they are in abundance. I'm not saying that we should stop setting our goals high when we're strong and healthy, it's just that we shouldn't stop appreciating the little beautiful things in life along the way and be thankful to Allah for just having all the senses to be able to do so.

I guess the same goes to our relationships with people. When we're around healthy and busy with our daily work we tend to ignore families and friends. We're just to busy to reply messages and answer calls. But when we're lying sick and helpless, they are the ones that we wish would come and visit us. Simple written words by such as 'get well soon' are appreciated most when we get them from these people, even if they can't make it to visit you. Sometimes we just prioritize the wrong people. We worry more about bad things strangers think and talk about us than the sincere advice and warnings of families and friends. We tend to please people who don't care if you are on your bed jumping, lying sick or dying than people who will do whatever it takes to help you in times of need. Why do we only appreciate the presence of our loved ones only either when we're going, or when they're gone? Oh humans, we're full of irony

But I guess the most important thing of all is to be thankful to Allah for our health or just for being alive for another day. I turned my head just in time for the force to miss my eye and hit my ear instead. What if it hit my eyes? Now that would be worse. Doctor also says I'm lucky that my facial nerves are okay. She said a patient at the clinic had a similar injury as mine, but his facial nerves are damaged, so he can't move his face muscles. You won't know even if he's smiling. Alhamdulillah my facial nerves are fine, I am still able to smile, and smile I will ;). Doctor says my balance and ability to walk straight will return in a few weeks, but she's not so sure about the hearing loss. Oh well, let's pray for the best. I hope you can pray for me too ;)

It feels so good to be writing again without bouts of vertigo. Half of my hearing may be lost, but as long as my brain can still think properly, and my hands are able to write, I will keep on writing to share the lessons of my life. Please feel free to share my writings if you feel that it could be beneficial to the people that you care. Thank you