For the last two weeks, I essentially did two postings in one. With only one working ear, the other one discharging fluids, and did I mention my head is producing a constant ringing sound out of nowhere? There’s no big deal skipping classes more than a week in high school, but in medical school, a week is equivalent to a semester in high school. Plus, I am in my short postings where one posting lasts for only 2-3 weeks. I was admitted for more than a week, and by the time I get back to class my ophthalmology posting was ending and I have to go on with anaesthesiology. At first I thought of just going ‘the hell with it’, and repeat the whole semester. With constant headaches and vertigo, I even considered repeating the whole year! But I knew I’m better than that. I’ve been through some crazy things in life. Though nothing has been more painful than this (since the eardrum is one of the most innervated organs in our body, a perforated eardrum rated 9/10 on the pain scale, similar to having a heart attack, but of course less painful than giving childbirth), I can’t let this bring me down.
So I held on. Staying in the operating theatre learning anaesthesiology morning till evening, and continue with ophthalmology clinics till sunset, and continue writing case write ups for both postings at night. Filling log books for both postings, alternating between ophthalmology clinics looking into 20 pairs of eyes and presenting each one to the consultant, then enter the operating theater to observe spinal taps, dural taps and whatever else taps there is in this world. Then there's the mini clinical examination for ophthalmology and Basic Life Support examinations for anaesthesiology. Hell, I don’t even know how I did all those things in just two weeks. Well, there are nights where I just broke down into depression and ask the usual question of 'why is this happening to me?'. But to think of it, many great things also happened to me in the past, and how come I didn't ask 'why is all of these great things happening to me?' Everything that is sent down to me, whether it is a great thing or a disaster, is from the Almighty. Who am I to choose only the great things and fret upon the bad? I have to accept all that is given, good or bad, because I believe, in the end, everything that He sent down to me is for my own good. I just don't realize it yet. So to be fair, I just bounced.
I am supposed to be in Denmark right now for the IFMSA General Assembly and in Hong Kong last week to do my presentation on Health Economics that I worked my ass off preparing for months. Both are burned now since my ears are busted and I can't ride a plane for some time. Well, they say that you can't always get what you want. But I will never stop trying, I will grow through this pain to be stronger and better than ever