Today, as I was doing my job in the wards one of my colleague made a quick remark of me "well, you seem to enjoy working". I was putting notes on the computer, while playing Echosmith's Bright on low volume on the phone in my pocket. Head bobbing to the tune.
Yeah, I was happy.
I gave it a thought, just a year ago, I hated my job. I woke up feeling nauseous, trying to brush my teeth was a challenge as to not induce vomiting. I had palpitations as I near the hospital entrance. I jumped at every notice the staff nurse gave "Doctor blood pressure patient bed 3 low", "Doctor, temperature patient bed 6 spike", "Doctor, doctor, doctorrrr mana discharge note???". It was overwhelmingly crazy, I admit it was a tough environment.
Today, I admit I am still not one of those passionate and dedicated houseman who would stay back at the hospital to learn something new. I finish my work fast, to get back on time to go for my NGO meetings, to reply emails, to get in touch with investors, to prepare for my next talk. But at least I no longer hate my job. It instead felt fulfilling. Morning drives used to be full of wary imaginations of how the ward would be full, how the rounds would be horrible. Now I drive to work with my brain thinking about...nothing. What will be will be.
I guess as you expose your brain long enough to any challenging environment, your brain will adapt to it sooner or later. The secret is to keep pushing on. The moment where you feel that you are losing out and about to give up, that was when you push the hardest.
For those new houseman out there just starting out, if you feel that you are living through hell, I understand, I was once just like you. But if you keep pushing on you will see enough patients and learn and identify patterns of diseases, patterns that allows you to predict the next course of treatment you should initiate. Patterns that are, in a sense...remarkably beautiful as you discover and bow down to Allah's promise that there is a cure for every illness in this world except for death.
So keep marching on until the sun comes out, and one day, you will be able to say to the staff nurse, with confident, in a most calm and collected manner..."rilex, run 1 pint normal saline dulu, slow sikit ah"
Yeah, I was happy.
I gave it a thought, just a year ago, I hated my job. I woke up feeling nauseous, trying to brush my teeth was a challenge as to not induce vomiting. I had palpitations as I near the hospital entrance. I jumped at every notice the staff nurse gave "Doctor blood pressure patient bed 3 low", "Doctor, temperature patient bed 6 spike", "Doctor, doctor, doctorrrr mana discharge note???". It was overwhelmingly crazy, I admit it was a tough environment.
Today, I admit I am still not one of those passionate and dedicated houseman who would stay back at the hospital to learn something new. I finish my work fast, to get back on time to go for my NGO meetings, to reply emails, to get in touch with investors, to prepare for my next talk. But at least I no longer hate my job. It instead felt fulfilling. Morning drives used to be full of wary imaginations of how the ward would be full, how the rounds would be horrible. Now I drive to work with my brain thinking about...nothing. What will be will be.
I guess as you expose your brain long enough to any challenging environment, your brain will adapt to it sooner or later. The secret is to keep pushing on. The moment where you feel that you are losing out and about to give up, that was when you push the hardest.
For those new houseman out there just starting out, if you feel that you are living through hell, I understand, I was once just like you. But if you keep pushing on you will see enough patients and learn and identify patterns of diseases, patterns that allows you to predict the next course of treatment you should initiate. Patterns that are, in a sense...remarkably beautiful as you discover and bow down to Allah's promise that there is a cure for every illness in this world except for death.
So keep marching on until the sun comes out, and one day, you will be able to say to the staff nurse, with confident, in a most calm and collected manner..."rilex, run 1 pint normal saline dulu, slow sikit ah"
