Things Are Looking Up: Thanks For The Wishes And Prayers

Dear everyone, thank you for the get well soon wishes and constant flow of visits to my ward room, especially to my parents and family members for being here most of the time. I can't express how blessed I am to have so many people who care. The past 3 days has been a true challenge, the injury took away half of my hearing, my balance and my ability to walk straight (I keep falling to the left). It takes huge amount of mind concentration to ignore the pain and ringing in my ear. Although my brain fluids (or CSF, for the medically inclined) are still leaking, the flow seems to be reducing by time. Things are getting better today, and hey, I can even write a note on FB using my BB! I am now on antibiotics to prevent infections which could be nasty if it reaches my brain. But let's just hope that won't happen.

So it has been 4 days since I've seen the sunlight. It's funny how when I am healthy I set my goals so high, contemplating the next big thing to do, but now all I want is to see the sunlight. I can only guess the weather outside from the sounds of wind or rain going through the bathroom ventilator. I wish I can just go out and appreciate the weather, but I can't walk without risking a fall, and hence risking further CSF leakage. What I want is just to see the world outside, listen to music with both my ears, and walk to anywhere I want to without risking a fall. Who cares about the sounds of Optimus Prime transforming? I just want to hear the sound of the winds. Oh, how we always take things for granted when they are in abundance. I'm not saying that we should stop setting our goals high when we're strong and healthy, it's just that we shouldn't stop appreciating the little beautiful things in life along the way and be thankful to Allah for just having all the senses to be able to do so.

I guess the same goes to our relationships with people. When we're around healthy and busy with our daily work we tend to ignore families and friends. We're just to busy to reply messages and answer calls. But when we're lying sick and helpless, they are the ones that we wish would come and visit us. Simple written words by such as 'get well soon' are appreciated most when we get them from these people, even if they can't make it to visit you. Sometimes we just prioritize the wrong people. We worry more about bad things strangers think and talk about us than the sincere advice and warnings of families and friends. We tend to please people who don't care if you are on your bed jumping, lying sick or dying than people who will do whatever it takes to help you in times of need. Why do we only appreciate the presence of our loved ones only either when we're going, or when they're gone? Oh humans, we're full of irony

But I guess the most important thing of all is to be thankful to Allah for our health or just for being alive for another day. I turned my head just in time for the force to miss my eye and hit my ear instead. What if it hit my eyes? Now that would be worse. Doctor also says I'm lucky that my facial nerves are okay. She said a patient at the clinic had a similar injury as mine, but his facial nerves are damaged, so he can't move his face muscles. You won't know even if he's smiling. Alhamdulillah my facial nerves are fine, I am still able to smile, and smile I will ;). Doctor says my balance and ability to walk straight will return in a few weeks, but she's not so sure about the hearing loss. Oh well, let's pray for the best. I hope you can pray for me too ;)

It feels so good to be writing again without bouts of vertigo. Half of my hearing may be lost, but as long as my brain can still think properly, and my hands are able to write, I will keep on writing to share the lessons of my life. Please feel free to share my writings if you feel that it could be beneficial to the people that you care. Thank you

A Great British Peace Evengelist Dies, But His War Against War Goes On

London back in December 2009 was an exciting moment for me because it has been quite some time since the last time I was there. Actually, the last time I was there, I had no memory of it at all. I was a little child. Hence, London the second time was as exciting as the first time, seeing the Big Ben, the Parliament building, the London and Tower Bridge and all. But amongst these classic medieval buildings, lush and proper, were something of peculiar. A sight to most people is ugly and out of place. Here right in front of the Parliament building, stood erected worn out tents along with worn out posters in the background, stuck on rusty metal cages. It looked like a squatter ground to me. It is definitely out of place, and is definitely a curious sight. However, I couldn’t entertain my curiosity for long since I have a lot to see. I dismissed it as a rather typical rally, and just moved on

Then I was in London again near the end of 2010, and, to my surprise, the exact same squatter ground is still there. But I was passing by the Parliament Square in a taxi, so again, I could not satisfy my curiosity. This is not just a rally, I thought. From the inside of the taxi, I read out the words from the posters. Luckily the traffic was congested, enabling me to read (but not so lucky enough because me and my friend missed our bus to Cardiff and burnt our tickets). But at least I managed to observe the posters. They were all about anti-war: ‘Stop invasion in Iraq’, ‘Stop killing our kids’, ‘Tony B-liar’ and many more interesting posters. Among these tent and poster, were a man, looking like a squatter himself, untidy, unkempt and giving an impression of a madman, sitting on a chair, loudhailer on his hand, preaching something. I couldn’t make out what he was saying from the inside of the taxi I am in, but from his ferocious expression, I could tell it is something he is so passionate to talk about.

Last week I was in London again, and I was not too surprised to see the squatter ground again. All I could wonder was ‘Why didn’t these powerful people in this Parliament building in front remove these unsightly squatter ground?’ If it were in my country, I guess all this rally would be gone within hours thanks to FRUs, tear gases and water pressures. However, there was something missing on that ground that day. No longer there was the man on the fold up chair with his loudhailer. Perhaps he went to do things people do daily, you know, meet up with friends, buy some stuff, get something to eat. However, having spent a week in these British hospitals, it suddenly crossed my mind that he might be sick, lying somewhere inside a hospital

Today, as I was flipping through the newspaper, looking for new stories about the National Health Service plans, I found a story which satisfies my curiosity I have been having for years, but somehow saddens me at the same time. The man with the loudhailer on the fold-up chair in Parliament square has just died. Judging from his unkempt, unwashed look, I never thought he was such an important figure of free speech here in Britain, but now his death is all over the news, and I finally get to know his name: Brian Haw.

I learned that Brian Haw has been living inside the tents at the Parliament Square since 2001. It has been a decade, and he never moved. Every single day he preached to the passers-by about the damage of war, about how the invasion of Iraq killed thousands of innocents, how Tony Blair (or Tony B-liar, as he called the ex-Prime Minister) is killing their own children by sending them to war. His preaching involves topic about different issues in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Libya and other countries but all of them has the same theme: Say no to war. Most of the issues he’s passionate about are about Muslim counties, and he is an evangelical Christian. He has a hat full of badges that he proudly wears every day. One of the big ones read: Keep my Muslim neighbours safe. He does preach to passers-by about living a more Christian lives, but his message of peace resounds to all and are hard not to be accepted by people of all beliefs. I believe that is what religions is all about: Peace, and Mr Haw really lives it by going against war. But now he died at the age of 62, and judging from the news, Britain has lost its key figure in free-speech.

It is amazing to me how he stayed and survived in that tent for a decade, but I believe when you are fighting for a cause that you are really passionate about, you will have this mysterious, super-human like strength to go on. I admire his noble cause, sacrificing a pleasant life to fight for people he didn’t even know, people who has different beliefs, and people who he has nothing to benefit from. I admire his ability to look differences, beyond nationality, race or religions, and fight injustice no matter towards whom. How many of us who has the same belief as the victims of war, but are ignorant about it? It is a shame that someone who has nothing to do are better at protecting the rights of war victims.

The more Mr Haw shouted through his loudhailer, the more the politicians in the Parliament building in front wanted to move him away. But they never did, even after a decade. That interests me. Parliament square is a historic place, a public place for tourists, and Mr. Haw being there created a lot of noise through his loudhailer. A nuisance, to many. But there he stood for years. I wonder if he has some connections, or the government here are open to free-speakers. I could imagine what would have happen if someone made a camp in front of the Parliament building in my country. It would be moved away in minutes using every methods available to the FRUs. Tear gasses, water pressures, etc. Much about corruption in the government Mr Haw has revealed, but the government let him be.

Most government in this world are corrupt, but not many governments are brave enough to let people talk about that corruption. Just a thought to take home. Peace

Mr Brian Haw
His grounds in Parliament Square

Vietnam War: Differing Stories told through Washington DC and Ho Chi Minh City

I am now in Ho Chi Minh City, just came back from a Vietnam War Memorial here. I went to a place with a similar name when I was in Washington DC 2 years ago, but the similarity ends in the name. Inside, both places tell two different stories, but of the same event.

Throughout my teenage years, I've always been fed by the Washington side of the story through movies like Rambo and video games like Battlefield and Call of Duty. Ultimately, I was fed by those stories again through the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington. All the while I was there, the tourist guide and signages keep sending these messages into my brain: ''These American people fought for democracy, even for strangers far away from home'', ''They are freeing the Vietnamese from oppression and poverty'', ''This is a war for human rights''. Oh, you know all those American government bullshit

After my visit to Ho Chi Minh Vietnam War Memorial today, I realize how naive was I to believe what I heard and saw in Washington. So many details of the war were left out. Now that I've seen the pictures and videos of the American people during their occupation in Vietnam, I even despise playing Call of Duty: Black Ops killing the Vietnamese. I'd rather play the game now, turn on 'friendly fire' and shoot all my comrades, even if it means: ''Game Over, Friendly Fire Are Not Tolerated''.

In the memorial here in Ho Chi Minh, there were many accounts of the Vietnam war as seen by the Vietnamese themselves. There was a video of one American soldier shooting a young civilian just walking by the city, a photo of a mother and a young daughter burning to death by the American chemical weapon, and a whole lot of B-52 bombers bombing the villages along with its innocent people (Not to mention how many Vietnamese were raped during their occupation here). Nope, you won't see this in Washington.

There was no freeing the people from oppression and giving them democracy by the Americans. They were free and well off before the American came. When thay came in 1954 and install their puppet Ngo Dinh Diem in South Vietnam, the people there revolted against him in a series of attacks and demonstrations. Why would the local people attack someone claiming to be 'freeing them from oppression'? Because they were not oppressed, and it is him who is oppressing the people

However, the Vietnamese were never stupid. They've driven away the French Army during the First Indochina war in the 1940s, and driving away the American Army from their country is just another day in their daily life. I have to respect the Vietnamese for winning the war against the Americans with such low technology and limited resources. The Chu Chi tunnel they built was absolutely amazing. They are so smart that they built kitchens underground, but diverting the smoke from their cooking somewhere else far away. So when they cook, the smoke comes out at someplace else where there's no inhabitants, and the Americans, seeing smoke frequently coming out of that area, thought that that was the place the Vietnamese were hiding. So they sent a whole lot of B-52 bombers to bomb that area, and the Vietnamese were happily enjoying the food they just cooked, laughing at the sounds of B-52 bombers wasting their ammunition killing no one in the jungles. Smart, aren't they?

It is funny how the Americans spent billions and sent thousands of their own people to die to take over such a small and poor country. I wonder what do they get after they have lost. Don't get me wrong. I am not anti-American. As a boy growing up in Boston, I was taught about the American values of acceptance, humanity and the dignity. I could only wonder why they're government are not run by people who taught me all the good values. If only their government practice what their citizens preach, America would earn a worldwide respect. Even today, years after the Vietnam war, the American government hasn't learn their lesson well. They continue invading other countries, now in the middle-east, for their greedy purposes. So there's only two types of American I hate: The politicians, and the soldiers stupid enough to stay in the American Army

The resilience of the Vietnamese people won them the war, and their resilience is still evident today, translated into economics and politics. The last of the American Army left Vietnam in 1975, that's just like 35 years ago, and today, Vietnam's economy is booming fast. Just take a city tour around Ho Chi Minh and you'll see what I mean. In comparison to my country, which has been free for 54 years, I wonder if someday they would surpass us? Or did they already?

Confusions Regarding The Freezing of Medical Courses in Malaysia

I have been receiving many emails and Facebook messages asking about the freezing of medical courses until 2016. I will try to answer them here. Many have been misled to believe that Malaysia will not be taking anymore medical students from now until 2016. Fact is: the freezing if effective towards new medical courses, not new medical students. In other words, there will be no more licenses given by the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) to new institutions wishing to set up a medical degree. Existing medical degree courses are unaffected and will still be taking in students according to their own quotas. So there’s no such thing as ‘no more juniors’ or ‘SPM school-leavers won’t be able to take medicine’.

This decision is subsequent to the forecasted surplus of medical housemen overwhelming public hospitals by 2015, which was highlighted November last year in The Star, which I commented in my previous note ‘’A Future of Too Many Doctors - A Grave Concern For Medical Students’’ (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=178889192122594). This move hopes to reduce the number of housemen in public hospitals. Hope this note clears up the confusion, and do share this with concerned friends.

Thank you

Lutfi Fadil Lokman
Chairman Elect 2011/12
Society of Medical Students,
Malaysian Medical Association

My Thoughts On Osama's Death

This note is written assuming that Osama and his death are real, as for at the time of this writing, we can’t tell with much certainty (burial at sea, fake photos and witnesses near Osama’s compound). Whether it's a propaganda or not, I think it’s best to leave them to conspiracy theorists. What I would like to focus on is: If Osama does exist and if he is a Muslim, are the things he did justified? I’ve seen many responses on Facebook supporting violence that Osama purportedly did, which includes:

1. I pray that another Osama will be born and destroy all the American people and Jews alike
2. Osama has fallen syaheed, and there is no place for him but Jannah for his Jihad against oppression
3. I pray that Osama is blessed and placed in Jannah for the justice he brought to the Muslim people

While I do respect people who go on a Jihad, and have absolutely no right to judge whether Osama goes to Jannah or not, the question that enters my mind is: Was what he did a Jihad? Was it a war against oppression? Did it bring justice to the Muslim people? This is what I think: If Osama does exist, the things he did were neither Jihad, justice nor war against oppression. A war is defined as ‘a state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state’. When targets are unarmed, when innocent people became the mark, then it is not a war against oppression but an act of cowardice. It is not a Jihad. Jihad fi sabilillah means ‘striving in the way of Allah’. Contrary to popular western belief, Jihad is not synonymous to ‘holy war’. Striving in the way of Allah is NOT equivalent to war. It could mean striving to improve our faith in Allah, striving to improve the Muslim society as a whole and striving to defend Islam. Violence is not the only way to defend Islam. In places where Muslims are clearly oppressed by violence like in Palestine, it is fitting to retaliate in war. But during that course of war, Islam prohibits us from attacking women, children and innocent people alike. Yes, the Zionists violated all human rights by killing innocent people, but does that mean we have to be like them? If we did what they did, then we are the same filthy creatures roaming the earth as they are.

I have a great opportunity to have a lunch talk with one Palestinian medical student in one of the conferences I went to. The essence of his message during the chat is that they don’t need us to come to Palestine wielding weapons with intentions for Jihad. These are his exact words: ‘’Help us from your homes by gaining knowledge that can improve the lives of Muslims around the world. Don’t worry about our armed conflicts, for years, we have learned to defend ourselves’’

Osama’s ideology to put a stop to the oppression of Muslims was admirable, but the technique he used in executing his ideology was unacceptable. He was an absolutely rich man. He has all the resources to do a different kind of Jihad, a Jihad that could improve the Muslim society around the world that subsequently puts an end to oppression. How I wish he had used his resources to change the lives of many young Muslims by giving them a chance for education. How I wish he would spend his resources helping Muslims break out of poverty by giving them a chance to start over their lives with financial help. How I wish he used his great charisma to become a leader that fight against corruptions in Muslim countries. It seems unfitting to teach young children how to handle an AK-47 before they even learn how to read. It is unfair to kill innocent people in America, hide in the mountains, and let the innocent people in Iraq and Afghanistan take the blow of retaliation by the western armies. Killing innocent people may satisfy himself for a short while, but it does not help the Muslim society at all. In fact, it puts Muslims around the world in great insecurity. After 9/11, how many Muslim women had to abandon their hijab to protect themselves for being aggressed? How many young Muslims are shunned away from their circle of friends? How many Islamic religious talks had to be cancelled in fear being attacked? If his mission is to stop oppression against Muslims, it is safe to say that he failed terribly in that.

I am against all sorts of violence. Hence, on the American part, killing Osama shouldn’t be their top priority. It’s like hacking on the biggest fruit of a tree that still has rock-solid roots. Trees, of course, will always bear another fruit (unless it’s a banana tree). They don’t get the whole idea of why Al-Qaeda was there in the first place. Radicalism emerges for a reason. Instead of prioritizing the death of Osama, why not make it a top priority to stop supporting Zionism that clearly kills innocent people on a regular basis? Why not make it a top priority to stop oppressing the Muslims economically? Why not make it a top priority to get their hands the hell off meddling with Muslim counties politics? Why not getting your armies the hell out of our countries? Why not GET YOUR OWN OIL?

I think we can judge things by ourselves. Just because someone claims himself a Muslim does not mean what he did was right. Again, this note is written assuming Osama is real, but if there is anybody who resorts to act of violence and claims himself to be a Muslim, it is best we remind ourselves that violence against innocent people solves NOTHING. As people far away from war, let’s heed my Palestinian friend’s advice: Let’s jihad to improve our faith in Allah, Let’s jihad to improve the Muslim society as a whole and let’s Jihad to secure a place in Jannah =)