Coffee Talk

Get Private Sector Doctor To Teach

2012-01-25T16:37:00.008+08:00

This post was published in The Sun Daily, Jan 27th 2012 (link).

With reference to “MMC to be corporatised” (Front page of The Sun Daily, Jan 25), as chairman of the Society of Medical Students, MMA and on behalf of Malaysian medical students, I welcome the news and hope that an amendment to the Medical Act 1971 to corporatise the Malaysian Medical Council will be passed. As the ones who will be working in the midst of the resultant outcome of policy decisions today, we hope the amendment will result in a better professional body that monitors the quality of healthcare and medical education as independently as possible from individual interest or government bureaucracy. In moving towards developed nation status, the corporatisation will hopefully result in a body as effective in maintaining standards of healthcare as those in first world countries such as the General Medical Council of the UK.

We also welcome the news from Health Ministry director-general Datuk Seri Hasan Abdul Rahman that the list of recognised universities is to be shortened and reviewed more frequently to maintain standards. We hope that once the amendment is passed, issues similar to this that involve the accreditation of medical schools will be decided more independently. Although the issue of the houseman glut has quietened down, there is always the issue of a glut in medical officers to look into. With the increasing number of housemen and limited spaces for postgraduate study to become a specialist, this will be an issue that we as medical students today will face in the future. There are currently 35 medical institutions producing undergraduates, but only three produce postgraduates – UKM, UM and USM. We hope the MMC will look into this issue.

As a student, my ideas might be naïve, but may I suggest that the government with the support of the MMC start encouraging the private sector to be involved in postgraduate medical education. As the Economic Transformation Programme announced by the prime minister places the private sector in a vital role to transform the economy, medical education should follow suit. The private sector has more than enough resources in terms of the numerous private hospitals and doctors that far outnumber those in public service. In terms of teachability of doctors, as a student in one of the top public universities in Malaysia, I have seen very talented lecturers going out to private practice for better pay in order to support their families. The teaching spirit is still in their hearts, but as per the Malay saying “jangan monyet di hutan disusukan, anak di rumah mati kelaparan”, they would of course prioritise supporting their families over teaching. Not given the chance to teach, that spirit might slowly die away, which would be a waste of the country’s talent. I am sure that given the chance, many doctors in the private sector would be willing to teach postgraduate students.

I believe successful people succeed because they do what interests them and what they are passionate about. With the limited number of spaces to pursue medical specialties, many would have to choose a specialty not because they are interested in it, but because it is the only one available. If the private sector can fill this increasing demand, better productivity in terms of healthcare awaits the nation as doctors give their all and produce better research in areas that interest them. Adam Smith changed the economy by recognising the benefits of specialisation of labour in the production process. The same goes for healthcare.

In the end, as in many first world countries, healthcare, research and education would have to go hand in hand – as is practised by world class private medical institutions like John Hopkins and Mayo Clinic in the US. To reach developed nation status, both the private and public sectors must play their part in nation building.

As medical students, we are unable to be directly involved in policy making, but we hope our views are taken into consideration and our voices of concern heard. We wish the best for the future of our healthcare and medical education, so that one day when we become a part of the system, we can proudly tell the world “I am a Malaysian doctor”.

Lutfi Fadil Lokman
Chairman
Society of Medical Students, MMA

Talking About a Greater Kuala Lumpur

2012-01-21T17:35:00.026+08:00

This post was featured in the official blog of the Malaysian Economic Transformation Programme under the Performance and Delivery Unit, Prime Minister's Department: (link)

A Chapter in the Malaysian Economic Transformation Program (ETP) Handbook

It came out in the newspaper today that our Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak said Malaysia offers the best package in the world in terms of standard of living and amenities (link). While ‘best in the world’ might be received with skeptical eyes by some, I think there is already a whole lot of negativism on other blogs and online portals that I think it wouldn't hurt to spread some positivity around. The Prime Minister further commented that once projects such as the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) and River of Life has been completed, it would transform the face of Kuala Lumpur and will be among the quantum leaps that will enable Kuala Lumpur to match major cities of the world, such as London, New York and Tokyo.

It was a twist of fate that got me looking first hand at the final drafts and blueprints of future Kuala Lumpur, or ‘Greater Kuala Lumpur’ as our government calls it. My Special Study Module research team were actually looking for the most detailed map of Kuala Lumpur because we were doing some disease prevalence research which involves some heavy geography and map-reading. We initially went to the KL library (which was so fine-looking with all that glass windows) to search for the map, but as with anything else in research, one thing led to another, and somehow we ended up at the 11th floor of DBKL building (The Kuala Lumpur Town Hall), where the Master Planner Department lies. As we were discussing with one of the staff there about the Kuala Lumpur map we were looking for, my eyes couldn't stop wandering around the room. I failed to pay attention to the discussion for more than 10 minutes because the room was filled with posters and blueprints of the Greater Kuala Lumpur that efficaciously caught my attention. I couldn’t help but to excuse myself, get up, and look at these plans one by one. Some of the posters were the written objectives, mission and vision of Greater Kuala Lumpur (which can be summed up by the catchy phrase ’20-20 by 2020’: being the top 20 in city economic growth and top 20 most liveable cities in the world by the year 2020), some were the blueprints for the MRT project, and some were the step by step plan for The River of Life project.

All these plans were set out in detail by the Kuala Lumpur Town Hall. It is like a road map for the future. I first heard of the Greater Kuala Lumpur during the event where I met the Deputy Prime Minister, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin in UKM Bangi (link). Before the lunch with him, I had the opportunity to hear from Dato’ Idris Jala, the CEO of Performance Management and Delivery Unit (Pemandu), who was also there, about Malaysia’s National Key Economic Areas (NKEA). Pemandu is responsible for Malaysia’s Economic Transformation Programme (ETP), and one of the key economic transformations is the formation of Greater Kuala Lumpur. It was a very enlightening session. According to him, the population of Kuala Lumpur is targeted to increase from the current 6 million to 10 million by the year 2020. To accommodate this growth in population, an expansion of the city centre must take place. Hence, Greater KL actually extends beyond the boundaries of Kuala Lumpur. It is defined as the area covered by 10 municipalities, each governed by local authorities: DB Kuala Lumpur (DBKL), Perbadanan Putrajaya, MB Shah Alam (MBSA), MB Petaling Jaya (MBPJ), MP Klang (MPK), MP Kajang, MP Subang Jaya (MPSJ), MP Selayang, MP Ampang Jaya (MPAJ) and MD Sepang:

Also, to accommodate the increase in population density, it makes perfect sense to provide a reliable transport to move the mass of people around, into, and out of the city. This is where the MRT project comes in. Looking at the plans reminded me of the London underground tube. I used the tube quite often every time I am in London, and I find it quite reliable (except recently where heavy maintenance works was going on in preparation for the 2012 London Olympics). It is impressive that they have such extensive networks, with a central line (the Circle Line) which goes around the city in a circle loop, so when there is an obstruction or breakdown in any of the other lines, the passengers can always take the circle line to bypass it (unless the Circle Line itself breaks down). Although they have thought of this system decades ago, I am glad that Malaysia is also going to extend its reaches of mass rapid transit to cover more areas and construct a central line too that goes in a loop around KL.

The talk by Dato’ Idris Jala, the CEO of Performance Management and Delivery Unit (Pemandu)

As for now, the proposal is to build an underground MRT line designated ‘MRT Line 2’ that will be looping around the city centre. Extending from this circle line are further extensions: the Red Line will go from Damansara in the northwest to Serdang in the southeast, the Green Line will be from Kepong in the northeast to Cheras in the southwest, and both lines will pass through the city of Kuala Lumpur and converge at Dataran Perdana (Kuala Lumpur International Financial District) near Jalan Tun Razak. Sounds cool, doesn’t it? I am sure that this will indeed stimulate the growth of the economy by providing easier transport for businesses, create jobs for more people, and developing areas throughout the lines traversed by the MRT, hence creating even more businesses and jobs. People who always think mega projects like this is a waste of tax-payers money should listen to his lectures, visit www.etp.pemandu.gov.my, or learn some basic economics so that they can at least argue with some basis.

Urban development and maintenance of the natural environment rarely goes hand in hand. Hence I am glad that while urbanization and modernization takes place, the government has not left the natural environment out of the way. Living in Gombak for over a half of my life, I am well acquainted with the dirty polluted waters of the Gombak River. I’ve always known that our rivers were under-utilized natural assets. Great civilizations has been built upon rivers, and here we have two prominent rivers running through the city centre and not much has been done to tap into its capabilities. When I was a child, I used to cycle across the Gombak River through a bridge in Kampung Changkat to buy some Playstation CDs in Taman Greenwood. Every time I passed across the bridge I would observe the murky waters scattered with floating rubbish and god knows what peculiar looking objects. I’ve always seen beautiful rivers in Discovery Channel but they were all far out of town. It has been embedded in my mind that rivers running through a city will always be dirty and polluted. However, my visit to Korea 2 years ago changed my perception. They had a river running through Seoul called the Cheonggyecheon River. The river was amazingly clean, even safe for human contact and there were pedestrian walkways all along the river. I thought how comforting it is to be able to take a walk along the river after a hard day of work in the city.

A snapshot of Cheonggyecheon River I took in Seoul. The river runs through the city and is so clean that the people spend time just sitting by watching the water. It's a small river as compared to the ones in KL, hence we might have a bigger potential if the River of Life project is a success

At that moment, I thought of Gombak and Klang River and I remembered thinking negatively that Malaysian rivers will never be that way. Hence, I am quite surprised the first time I hear about the River of Life project. I know it would be a daunting task to clean the rivers that has been polluted for years. However, I am positive, with the right management of the project, the rivers can be cleaned and beautified and transform Kuala Lumpur into an environmental friendly city. The rivers could also be a source of economic earnings through creating vibrant waterfronts like in Vancouver, Auckland, Geneva or Seoul. It could also be great for recreational purposes, so KL-ites would not have to go far to de-stress. The possibilities are infinite. Here is a video about the River of Life project that you should watch:

All these plans have got me excited and hopeful. However, my true hope is that the development of Malaysia is beyond the material. The civic mindedness of the people remains a greater challenge. If people can just throw things out of their car windows on clean streets like Jalan Tun Razak, what would stop them from throwing rubbish into clean rivers? I hope that our civic mindedness also grew with the developments and economy. However instead of being negative about the future of Malaysia, why not do something about it? Being overly pessimistic and skeptical doesn’t help. Everybody wants a better future for themselves and their children, but not many go past the whining and start making a change. As fellow citizen, I am going to be a part of this transformation going on in Malaysia, are you?

Things I Am Thankful for in 2011

2011-12-31T10:17:00.009+08:00

When a door is closed, a new one opens

So it’s the last day of the year. It’s a cliché, but time flies. Fast! Next year I will be 25. Quarter-life as some people label it. I can say that I have been through a wealth of experience, ranging from one extreme to another (good and bad), to make who I am today. I believe the things that define us are the things that we love to do. For me, it is traveling, writing and public speaking. 2011 has given me a chance to fulfil these things that I love doing. As for my passion for travel, 2011 has taken me to the England, Wales, Holland, Vietnam, Indonesia and Turkey. I am thankful to the Almighty that at the age of 24, I have been given the chance to see 15 countries and 31 cities around the world. While I am not a writer for the newspaper or magazine, I am also glad that my passion in writing has brought this so called ‘Coffee Talk’ to gain relatively wide readership, especially thinking that my blog is not that sensational with the latest gossips or gadgets. It’s just about my life. I am thankful that people read the things I wanted to share. It really surprises me when I was walking in the middle of nowhere people came and told me they read and love my blog.

As for public speaking, I was also given a chance again to speak at an international level (the last time was in 2009 for the Model United Nations in Harvard). I represented the Malaysian medical students in the International Federation of Medical Students Association in Jakarta, and presented the Malaysian medical students organization in front of hundreds of other medical students worldwide. The feeling before stepping up the stage was nerve wrecking, but the feeling after was extremely exhilarating! My passion for public speaking has also enabled me to teach some students on the tips, tricks and techniques of speaking in public. I was willing to do everything for free, but when you’re unexpectedly paid for something you’re willing to do for free, the satisfaction is beyond words!

Academic wise, I am thankful that until now I never have to re-sit any paper along my journey as a medical student. It is indeed a blessing, because I know this year serves the toughest year yet, juggling between two huge responsibilities as the president of medical student association both at the University and national level. Going for meetings, events and interviews and keeping up with my studies at the same time admittedly was not an easy task. I am more than half-way through, and I hope I will keep the pace up and pass the current posting I am on and keep up with my responsibilities. If I can make it through this term, I believe I have equipped myself be more ready than ever to face the future challenges of my career.

However, not everything goes perfectly well for me this year. In the middle of the year I gained a permanent disability. My left ear was damaged up to the cochlear and nerves that I now have a constant ringing in my head, even now as I am writing this. It never stopped from that day, and I guess it will stay there until the day I lie on my deathbed. It was a traumatizing experience, especially during the earlier days where I was having vertigo and the world seems to spin around me for days. I wasn’t able to even walk without falling. It was even more traumatizing to know that my brain fluids (CSF) was leaking out, and without proper care, I could have contracted a brain infection and only God knows what will happen. Thankfully, the vertigo goes away, only the hearing problem stays. I am thankful that my family and good friends are there to support me during this critical times by visiting me, sending me gifts and wishes. It is in times like these you realize the people that you should prioritize in times of health.

The good thing about having traumatizing experiences is that all other bad experiences pale in comparison. I tend to take problems and other things in general more lightly now that I’ve been through a lot more worse. The problems I face daily become so small in comparison to the traumatic experience I’ve been through. Now that I only have one perfectly working ear, I tend to care less about what people say, and listen more to what my heart says. Every time I face a difficulty, I say to myself ‘Well, at least this might not kill me like last time’, as the saying goes ‘anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. How I appreciate life more now.

But it is true when people say that there is a rainbow after the rain. Apart from the love I received from my family, I have finally found someone who made me realize again how it feels to love and be loved. She was one of the people who broke me out of my depressive days coping with the constant ringing in my head. Her kindness has saved me from falling into a vicious cycle of depression. There has been so much laughing and happiness when I am around her. Being so ‘oh-so-professional’ with most people, it gives me great joy to just be myself when I’m with her, and I loved it that she didn’t mind. Our relationship is very new, and I know times will not always be easy, but I hope that I can keep loving her as much as I love my family members, and I pray that our relationship is one that is blessed into a marriage, with Allah’s will.

All in all, 2011 will be a year I will always remember. Partly thanks to the ringing in my ear which will always be there to remind me the things that I have learned this year. Goodbye 2011, you have been a great teacher. Welcome 2012, whatever you may bring, I am ready!

Cook All Your Worries!

2011-12-27T07:19:00.003+08:00

Great courage comes not from feeling great while everything goes well. The greatest of courage comes when you feel great despite constantly being tested or running through a complicated situation. What is courage if we do nothing much to test it? It is the ability to cultivate a mind that stays calm in the middle of the storm which is much coveted by those who wish to become great. While so many things are running through the mind, many imagine the worst thing that could happen. However, have you noticed that most of the things that you worry about in the past didn’t actually happen? Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere. All worry does is elicit unpleasant emotions and hinders you from truly enjoying the present moment. The future is uncertain, so live in the present, live the moment as it occurs to you. Take control of your worry and feelings, because if you don’t, it is possible to go sightseeing in Paris and still be depressed. Take control and you might feel happy just walking through your home garden.

I am not suggesting you to ignore all the troubles that might be looming in the future. I am just asking you not to ruminate about it again and again in your conscious mind. Put it in the back of your mind and solve it when the time comes. I have no experience in cooking, but I know that there is such term as ‘slow-cooking’ using the oven. I have observed chefs in cooking channels put some of their stuff in the oven, let it slow cook and sort of forget about it for a while until the time where the timer comes off. While waiting, the chef would tend to other things that needs present attention like cutting and frying. Uncertain problems that might occur in the future, instead of being tended to as in frying, should be let in the oven to ‘slow-cook’, while the current things in the present should be attended with your attention. It is not ignoring, it is putting in the back of your mind and live your daily life paying attention to the present. If it helps, put it on a note to remind you, and let it be. You are not procrastinating but letting time find solutions to your problems. You will be surprised that as you live your day, solutions will come from the most unexpected sources. The great thing about putting it in the back of your mind or your ‘oven’ is that the problems or issues will slow cook and by the time you get it out, it is cooked, or you might already have the solution to the problems.

Weird analogy, I know. Especially from a person like me who doesn’t cook. But that’s what got into my mind as I watched cooking channels. So, cook all your worries, and live your life in the present!

Moments I Surrender To

2011-12-24T13:47:00.004+08:00

Sunset in Istanbul

Some people travel to get someplace. I travel just to go. I travel for travel’s sake. My great affair is to move out of the environment that I have been too accustomed with and realize that the world is wider than what my mind had initially perceived. When I am away, I am free from questions, attachments and worldly affairs. I surrender to these moments where I have the luxury of time to think about things I usually don’t think of when I am in the thick of hectic things. Like thinking about the universe, the purpose of my life and the purpose of living in this world. As I observe the wonder of the bizarre and beautiful things that surrounds me, I find beauty in the Creator. It is as if I was detached from my former self. Then comes the great understanding that I live in this world, but I do not belong to it eternally. I live and surrender to these moments, exaggerate the feelings until I truly feel it. In these moments, I resemble the flowers, the trees, the mountains and the stars in the sky…

Talking About an Intelligent Future

2011-12-15T14:39:00.008+08:00

The Waiting Room

They say that the future belongs to those who can predict it. It sounds simple and honestly useless especially since there isn’t anyone in this world who has that ability. Maybe if we extend that saying to include ‘those who can predict the future with the most accuracy’, it would sound more logical. I have written before in a post titled ‘On Intelligence’ where I back Jeff Hawkin’s theory that intelligence is merely the interrelatedness of memory and prediction. In this post, I would like to elaborate more on the process of predicting, which lies discreetly on the elicitation of patterns from completely random memory, data or any other scattered things. These things that seem completely random initially will make a whole lot of sense when a pattern is elicited from it. From patterns, predictions are born. Patterns play a huge role in in visual arts, where certain patterns of various colour shapes and sizes appeal to the visual. They also play role in music, where certain arrangements of sound notes appeal to the human ear. The ability to find patterns from human behaviour and predict from it has been used my marketing genius to advertise and sell their products. It has also been used by politicians to gain popularity among the people. The ability to elicit patterns from economic data has saved countries from economic meltdown. Patterns of disease spread have been elicited to prevent infections from becoming increasingly epidemic. In short, pattern exists in everything in this world, as if the world itself is made out of patterns.

I was lucky enough to be invited to International Business Machines (IBM) headquarters in Damansara to get a direct input from IBM Malaysia’s Chief Technologist about the future of predictions. Now, why IBM? In my previous post ‘On Intelligence’, I have summed up that intelligence occurs when huge memories are stored and there exists extensive networks linking them together. The simple reason is that the technological capabilities to store large amounts of memory and create extensive networks covering them lie within the technological pioneers who mostly work for corporate giants, and IBM is one of them. On my visit there, I was introduced to a supercomputer they casually call Mr Watson. Almost brain-like (emphasize the word almost), Mr Watson crunches mind numbing data from its super huge memory and uses complicated algorithms (and I mean really complicated algorithms) to predict patterns from those random data and conclude by predicting an outcome. To show its capabilities, Mr Watson contested in the reality TV game show ‘Jeopardy’ and outwitted two of the game’s best performing human contestants. He was not connected to the web during the show.

But Mr Watson was created for a larger purpose than winning cash in ‘Jeapordy’. The people at IBM has a way of summing up what Watson’s purpose is: ‘To have computers start to interact in natural human terms across a range of applications and processes, understanding the questions that humans ask and providing answers that humans can understand and justify’. In the world we live today, huge amounts of data on various things has been obtained everywhere and on anything. However, they remain mainly scattered and largely give no meaning until someone does extensive research on it. For example, medical records are now compiled in digitally, but in order to see a pattern emerging from those data, researchers need to do laborious work of statistical analysis. However, the research outcome depends on the topic decided by the researcher. In other words, the researcher mainly chooses which pattern related to the topic that he wishes to elicit from those set of data, and his statistical analysis proves the pattern exist (hypothesis accepted) or not (hypothesis rejected). The eyes do not see what the mind doesn’t know. Researchers sometimes miss the subtle patterns that largely remain obscure. With a super computer that detects all possible patterns, this human limitation can be overcome. Medical researchers would also most likely rely on medical records, engineering researchers would rely on engineering records, and economic researchers would rely on economic data and so on. Rarely there is collaboration between fields, where in reality, each field always overlaps. When there is a huge and intelligent place to store all these data and process and make predictions from them, a whole new revolution in human history might take place.

With IBM Malaysia's Chief Technologist (second from left) and Head of Marketing (leftmost)

Think about the future with a technology like this. Think about a more intelligent future where traffic is diverted through its predictions of congestion and weather and reduces the number of traffic accidents. Think about a future of public safety where security is increased in places predicted to be high in crime rates and hence fight organized crime. Think about the future of commerce where the right business targets the precise market predicted. Think about the future of education where knowledge is targeted to those who would benefit from them most. Last and definitely not least, think about the future of medicine and healthcare. IBM has envisioning a smarter healthcare, and is how we got in contact in the first place. We were collaborating for a ‘Smarter Healthcare’ week and that is why they wanted to talk and explain in explicit details about this future technology. IBM is smart enough to realize that this technology is too early a technology to be introduced to those who are already doctors today. They target medical students, as the President of the Malaysian Medical Student Association, it is my job to expose the future doctors towards this future of possibilities. Someday, medical records might all be stored in a huge centralized system that automatically detects patterns of disease and relates it to other aspects such as lifestyle, economic status and family history. However, the question that remains to be asked is how do we maintain patient’s confidentiality in pursuit of this new technology? That question is to be answered by our generation.

One of IBM's vision

The integration between these data can no longer be delayed. When these data can be compiled into a single storage, and data from various fields like medicine, engineering, architecture, economic and social science brought together by networks to give a meaning. There could be a possibility to create a whole new intelligent world. Sometimes we are too frightened by Sci-fi Hollywood movies where machines overtook humans and conquer the world. But humans will never become obsolete because machines never make decisions. They only assist in making decisions. Perhaps when sceptics are overcome, we are well on our way towards a better, smarter future.

In front of IBM's logo

Cool hallway!

Are We Modernizing or Westernizing?

2011-11-23T21:42:00.009+08:00

A few months ago, I wrote a light-hearted piece about modernization and westernization titled ‘If Malaysians Rule the World’. This article is the heavier version of it, where I would like to discuss the difference between westernization and modernization, and are we heading towards the former or the latter?

We live in a western-centric world. Everything that is new, and everything that replaces the old, looks western: from the things we eat, (think of McDonald’s and KFC), the things we wear (think of blue jeans) to the things we listen to (think of rock and pop music) are all moving towards a western outlook. This process of ‘westernization’ goes beyond appearances. Companies all over the world are managed by ‘standard business practice’ mostly developed in western countries. Politically, democratic parliaments, constitutions and law are modeled after western countries. Economically, central banks and trade policies were also from the west. So significant was this process that we just have to wonder when did all of this started?

Then there is modernization. How different is modernization from westernization? The highly influential American political scientist Samuel P. Huntington argues in his book ‘Clash of Civilizations’ that modernization is about industrialization, urbanization, rising levels of literacy, education and wealth, while the things that make a society western, in contrast, are unique: the classical legacy, the separation of religious bodies from the state and governance, democracy, the rule of law, the civil society. The west, Huntington argues, were western long before it was modern. However, in the world we live in today most of the things that are modern seem western. Even Japan, the highly modern country coveted for its ability to maintain traditional customs is well known to be great imitators of the west. They are the only country in Asia, which has a national baseball tournament outside of America. With modernization and westernization becoming almost indistinctive, can a society become modern without being western? Fareed Zakaria in his book ‘The Post-American World and the Rise of the Rest’ predicted that with the rise of countries such as China, India, Japan and Korea, economic dominance, which most likely will be followed by political dominance, will move direction towards the east. The question is: Will this future look modern or western?

The Post-American World by Fareed Zakaria. Entertaining and informative read

The reason for all this might sound stupendously modest: everyone wants to succeed, and people tend to copy from those who have succeeded. Modernization advances a society towards success. While many aspects of the western society drive towards modernity, not everything that is western is modern. If what Fareed Zakaria postulates in his book is true, the time is more crucial than ever to distinguish between the two. If we look at the things that make things modern, they are not necessarily distinctively western, but they are distinctively universal, practical and appealing to the mass public. McDonalds and Coca-Cola made it around the world because they can be affordable, and can be found almost anywhere. Blue jeans are popular because they are comfortable and able to withstand prolonged wear and tear in any weather. Democracy is spreading across the world because it gives and spreads power to all citizens, not just certain people. Western economic policies appeal because they amass wealth for those who are the smartest and most hardworking, not to certain people with certain blood lineages. If I could sum it up, I would say that modernization are the things that drives a society towards success, brought by its practicality and benefit towards the mass public, to as much people as possible in that society.

With the frenzy of following the footsteps of western countries in order to become so called modern, the hardest challenge that we face today is to really examine and analyse which ones really drives the society forward by giving the most benefit to most people. It is possible to maintain our Asian values while modernizing at the same time, to achieve industrialization, urbanization, rising levels of literacy, education and wealth without letting go of our grassroots and religious belief. However, with the constant bombardment of western media made in Hollywood, it is easy to become delusional and try to live the so called ‘American Dream’ right here in Malaysia. The fact is what you see in movies and TV series are not as what it seems in the real world. There are no such schools and clubs as gleeful as the ones in Glee, there are no such drama, good looking and sexy doctors as the ones in Grey’s Anatomy, there is no person that knows every disease under the sun such as House. Everything is not as free as it seems. There is no total freedom of speech. If there is, why are people being locked up for speaking against the Jews, for being (accused of) anti-Semitic and for denying the holocaust? We are fooled by TV series to believe that there is total acceptance in America. If there is total acceptance in society, try clicking on any news about same-sex marriage in America and read how many comments were negative. The media and scholars might claim that they are open to acceptance, but it is them, not the general public that forms the majority of society that speaks. If their society are still struggling, trying to bring these western cultures into our country is not going to spearhead our country towards modernity. Success in the west was not brought up by the separation of religion from daily life. Atheist and scientologist claim that they advance science by separating themselves from religion, but most of their names remain obscure compared to the scientists who were well known to be highly religious such as Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Avicenna, Al Farabi, Gregor Mandel, Averroes and Al-Kindi. Seperation of religion from daily work is distinctively western, and we have our own Asian values that may drive us towards modernity.

Moving towards a modern society involves implementing things that benefits most people, so when small groups inspired by such foreign western ideology going against religious belief create havoc to fight for something that benefits certain small groups but incite fear and discontent towards the majority of the people, it is right for those in power to take action before it flares up. Like a surgeon, a leader has to excise a tumor before it grows malignant and spreads to other parts of the body. The task of being a leader for such a diverse population is admittedly very challenging. With the difference in background and education, deciding on which action to take could be a huge dilemma, for every decision that he makes will disappoint some party if not another. How do you make a decision that does least harm to the whole of the nation? For me, the answer is to truly question which action drives the nation forward, and which were just an imitation of a delusional nation far far away.

How Singaporeans Pick Doctors in Malaysia?

2011-11-02T06:16:00.006+08:00

A friend sent me a link to a blog of a Singaporean writer. Basically the blog responds to the following I've pasted below. However, I felt that although his respond was not enough a disagreement and I am compelled to write my own respond. Here was the issue raised:

In Malaysia, pick an Indian/Chinese doctor, not a Malay doctor

Given the bumiputra policy, there is a loss of selective pressure which leads to the decrease in mean ability of Malays as a whole. Contrast that with the Indians and Chinese who have to fight tooth and nail, who have to drag themselves to the front of the pack in order to get into the limited spaces in medical school (the rest of the quota being taken up by bumiputras). It’s a no-brainer. The Indians and Chinese who graduate from medical school must be really good. The Malays… not so sure.

This is my response:

Everybody has a right for their own opinion, and as the writer has an opinion about picking doctors in Malaysia, my opinion is that the writer is shamefully racist for even coming out with the idea of choosing doctors based on the color of their skin. I don't know if Singaporeans have this sort of mentality, but it is clearly an evidence of low level of thinking when someone picks a doctor to save their life based on their race. A sound minded person would choose his or her doctor based on the doctor's record of experience and achievements. By the number of successful surgery he has done or the number of precise diagnoses and treatment he has come out with. Each individual vary, and every race has their own high and low achievers. The color of skin has never been a good measure of credibility.

I believe the bumiputra policy has nothing to do with the quality of Malaysian doctors today because in medical faculties, it has been a long-time gone issue. Right now where I study, and most of the public universities, the ratio between bumi and non bumi are 1:1. There is competition, but we compete between individuals, never between races, why should we? As Malaysians, we are smart enough to realize that medicine relies heavily on teamwork among individuals regardless of race, religion or belief. A doctor would refer a complicated case to the best doctor available specializing in that case, not the doctor who has the most similar skin color. There was never an 'Anugerah Kaum Terbaik', and even if there is (maybe they have one in Singapore), what good does it meant to win awards when you can't even think in terms of simple logic such as choosing a doctor based on his or her records of reliability and not the color of the skin?

The Medical Mind

2011-10-23T22:25:00.004+08:00

The semester which involves the most reading has just ended, and what we read was just a small fraction of the whole of the medical field. With so much to read, I wonder if a person can really be confident enough to hold the responsibility to save lives. I think nobody can claim that he or she is fully ready. Someone might claim that he is ready for the final exam, but being fully ready to become a doctor is a very different thing. Fortunately, medicine is insanely human, and with everything else that is human, it involves interactions between individuals. It is like a sport, where no single person can do things alone, teamwork is vital, and if a person doesn’t play by the rules, the thing at stake is the lives of others. Hence, being a team sport, a doctor does not necessarily know everything under the sun. That is why in medicine we have specialties, and a person will decide to devote themselves into a field they feel that they have passion in.

Many students make the mistake of wanting to know every single detail there is under the medical umbrella. Many took in the details of the theoretical knowledge too seriously that they lose the humanity of medicine, which was actually the main tenet. Our responsibility lies not in knowing every single detail there is. It is more than just about reading books from cover to cover. I believe with most certainty that to become a great doctor is not just to be knowledgeable in theory, but to cultivate a medical mind.

A medical mind is a mind that of a doctor that is not quick to judge, a mind that observes and analyses before coming out with conclusions. A mind that is trained to see subtle changes, either in anatomical features or human behaviour. A mind that is trained to listen, to perceive even the slightest signs or symptoms, the one that can detect the smallest movements of the small muscles of the face which could indicate a frown or a disagreement, even when the words which came out of the mouth was that of an agreement. Cultivating a medical mind is not just about reading thousands of pages and vomit out every single detail onto a paper, it is about cultivating a mind that can make decisions as sharp as a surgical knife, as confident as puncturing an artery, a mind that is able to take in a flood of information and render it down into simple but important facts that really matters. The simple things that make all the difference.

Cultivating a medical mind is about developing the simplicity of a surgeon in handling the hassles of everyday life and the complexity of a physician in thinking to solve a problem. Medicine is insanely human, it takes more than mere logic to solve the problems confined into the four walls of the hospital. Human complexities are beyond the limits of logic. The diseases that plagues humans are an interplay of our own environment, our anatomy, physiology and our mind. The human mind and body defies logic, one may expect a result from one but not the same from another.

When a medical mind is cultivated, the mind is ready for future endeavours not only in the medical field. History has been sparkled by the presence of doctors in the field of politics, business, economics and even arts. This is because the medical mind not only makes you a better doctor, it makes you a better human. A mind that is trained to take in so many information in so little time is destined to learn the most impossible things at a most rapid rate. A mind that is trained to listen and to detect the subtleties of the body language may succeed anywhere in any field that involves the interaction with other humans and the general public. A mind that is taught to empathize and understand the suffering of others is sought after in relationships, either professionally or personally. These are the qualities of the medical mind. It does not read the mind of others, but it is trained to listen, understand, treat and make life better, for you and the people around.

Working with IBM: Business Lessons in Daily Life

2011-10-13T11:29:00.014+08:00

One of the subjects that I have never regretted and am most thankful for taking before I entered medical school was Business & Management. I took the course along with 6 other subjects when I was in International Baccalaureate in MARA College Seremban from 2005 to 2007. I still remember how my lecturer at that time, Puan Kartina would make the subject very interesting with her ‘in-between stories’ that somehow may seem not related to business management at all, but were very interesting indeed. It was soon I learned that as well as in medicine, the lessons from business management apply not only in the workplace but also in living daily life. Maybe that is why her stories were always related to her life, but has business lessons in it.

If it weren’t for Business and Management, I wouldn’t think I would be able to play the leadership role I hold today. Even after I’ve graduated from International Baccalaureate, I crave for business lessons and would always always always visit a bookstore every time I go to a shopping mall to get my hands on a new business book. Right now in my house, my bookshelf is already full of those kinds of books that I had to buy an extension to it. A few of my all-time favourites was: Built to Last and Good to Great by Jim Collins, Onwards by Howard Schulz, The Starbucks Experience by Joseph Michelli, The Innovation of Steve Jobs by Carmine Gallo, Inside Steve’s Brain by Leander Kahney, The Big Idea by marketing guru Donny Deutsch, Blink, The Tipping Point and Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Narcissistic Leaders by Michael Maccoby, Doctor in the House by Tun Mahathir Mohammad (you might not think this is a business book but it has a LOT of lessons about doing business in Malaysia), Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff about Money by the late Richard Carlson, and…oh, I am not a book promoter, am I?

The most interesting thing I find in these books was the story of the business companies as a whole and the gritty people inside them that unfolds the story of success. I love reading about how the companies were started, how determined their founders were despite various setbacks, the ups and downs of companies, how they were burnt to the ground and then rise from the ashes, the passionate people that make things happen by teamwork, and the life and death of the prominent figures in business. Each and every company has their own stories, as told by the people inside them, but all in all, the stories shaped the way I think about leading an organization and leading my own life.

Apart from the story of Apple, Starbucks, Google and Sony, my favourite story was about IBM, the International Business Machines. I sum up their company as extremely innovative. Just recently, IBM has passed Microsoft to become the world’s second-most valuable technology company. Although their products were not as publicized as Apple’s iPad, iPod or iPhones, that’s only because their products work silently in the background. They are like the timid guy in class who makes things happen in the background and end up being a revolutionary. Their components powered our cities, lighted up our skyscrapers, mobilize our LRTs, powered the MRIs and CT scans we doctors use every day and even enable you to read this very text I am writing. I have always imagined myself working for a big international companies, just for the sake of imagination, but of all things, I would have never ever guess that I will ever work with IBM someday, at least not until I am working. Who would have thought that the day came when I am still a mere student? I had the chance to work with them when they approached my medical student organization, SMMAMS, where they wanted to collaborate with us making their IBM Smarter Planet Healthcare Week a reality. This morning I received a thank you email from them. It goes like this:

Subject: Thank You SMMAMS for All Your Help

Dear Lutfi, Hsiao-Hui and all those at the Society of Malaysian Medical Association Medical Students (SMMAMS),

Firstly, we would like to thank each and everyone one of you for supporting IBM Smarter Planet Malaysia and for your participation during the Healthcare Week. Without you, the Healthcare Week would not have been the success that it was. Thank you.

With the help of you, the SMMAMS students and the few hardworking souls who helped run the Healthcare Week contest, we have increased the traffic of the IBM Smarter Planet Malaysia Facebook and Twitter webpages. We had a jump of over 50 ‘likes’ in the span of 1 week and an increase of users who came across the webpages by the hundreds.

Your participation has helped spread the values of a Smarter Healthcare not only amongst Malaysian but to others from a far. To add, your involvement is the impetus to future technological progress of a Smarter Healthcare and ultimately, to a Smarter Planet. Please find attached a copy of the infographic for your keeping. I hope you have found the information useful, we shall be following up with the winners to give them the prizes. Again Hsiao-Hui and Lufti, thank you very much.

We will be in contact with you when we have future projects coming up that you might be interested. Keep in touch.

Best Regards,

Conrad Bateman

IBM Malaysia

Before the event, me and my IT director, Ms Hsiao Hui Yeap had a 'business negotiation' with one of the people from IBM over dinner. I find the people in successful business their face light up with passion when talking about their product that you have to wonder if they were really trained to do just that or they really have that passion in their hearts. Working for a big company such as IBM was an eye-opener to me. I have mentioned before that I am interested in doing Public Health and management of the health system in Malaysia where I believe needs TREMENDOUS help by applying business lessons. I pray that someday I will be able to do something about the healthcare system in Malaysia, and make it smarter. But I guess even if I don’t get to, I might just apply those lessons in real life, in any organizations I am in, in family (a family itself is an organization, isn't it), and if everything else didn't work, I might just end up saying, ''I am not a businessman, I AM a business, man!''

Something You Thought You'll Never Read in My Blog

2011-10-09T09:45:00.024+08:00

I used to believe that I was never able,

But I was born to believe in the impossible,

Imaginations has always been my company,

The power of will made them a reality.

Loneliness has never crept into my mind,

I swore to never again look behind,

I thought I'd never fall in love except with my own self,

Until you came down crashing into my life.

I have spoken in front of thousands,

I have dined with Presidents,

But nothing trembles the way I talk to you,

Nothing craves like a minute spent with you.

I thought caffeine will always be enough for me,

But you are stronger than the darkest of coffee,

I would even trade them for you to be with me,

For you make me the man whom I wanted to be.

You have brought me back to reality,

I would like to make this a possibility,

Though these walls were the toughest I've ever seen,

This challenge is no longer a passing scene.

I am not the man I used to be,

My dreams are slowly turning into reality,

All my imaginations pale in comparison to you,

So what are they without you?

The things you give

On Discrimination

2011-10-06T20:16:00.011+08:00

Have you ever been denied certain things because of the appearance you were in? Like the cloth you wear or the car you were driving? I have been a few times. I think it is human nature to judge people based on appearance first and character later. Despite being a so-called 'anak Dato' I drive a crappy old Proton Saga that must have been nearly as old as my younger sister and on a glance must have looked as if it was taken off a junkyard. But I am happy with it. My dad just didn't want to pamper their children with too much luxury and I am at least proud to drive a national car.

So last month I drove my car to an event in UKM Bangi where the Deputy Prime Minister, Tan Sri Muhiyiddin Yassin was the VIP. As I approached the entrance of the parking lot, the Pak Guard there saw me from afar and made a cross sign by his arms and shouted 'Tak boleh masuk!'. I saw there were still a lot of empty parking spaces but then I thought they might be reserved for the lecturers and VIPs and the students had to park outside. So outside I went and parked my car down the hill. From there, I had to walk a few hundred meters uphill under the scorching sun to reach the venue. Drenched in sweat, I finally arrived at the entrance when I saw a fellow friend of mine driving a car much better than mine smiled and waved at me, then drove swiftly into the parking lot I was denied into just earlier. The Pak Guard who stopped me earlier just stood there, and to my surprise just let in all the other students' car too. 'Wow, this is what I call daylight discrimination!' I thought. Being the Yang Dipertua for your college means nothing in the eyes of others when you're driving a crappy car. In the hall I asked my friends where they parked their car and they all parked just outside the hall.

I decided to let if off my mind. However, in the afternoon I was invited to have lunch at the same table with the Deputy Prime Minister. I sat near him, we had met when he had his Charity Golf event in Bandung, so we talked about the place, he asked me how come I am now here in UKM, and I explained that I am under a Twinning Program with Indonesia. As I was chatting with the DPM, the Pak Guard saw me. I was sure he did, because as I turned towards him, he abruptly turned his head away, perhaps recognizing me as the one driving the crappy car this morning. He must have thought I am a VIP of some sort for sitting on the same table as the Ministers and Vice Chancellor and felt guilty for denying my entry this morning. The fact is that I am nothing more than a student representative. While there is nothing much to be proud of just sitting over lunch with these people, I felt satisfied for being able to show him how appearance can sometimes be a bad measurement for a person.

So people, let us not judge others solely by their appearance

All this reminded me of a joke I read somewhere which doesn't really have anything to do with the moral of this story, but hilarious indeed:

Not long ago, there was this man driving fast a car with tinted glass windows at the heart of Kuala Lumpur. The police saw him driving so fast and forced him to stop by the roadside. The car stopped, and the driver lowered the tinted glass windows. The police demanded for the driver's license in a harsh manner without even looking at the driver. The driver suddenly got in a rage and shouted ''Suka hati aku la, ni BAPAK aku punya jalan!''. The policeman glanced at the signboard that stated the name of the road. It read:

Jalan Tun Razak

END!

As I was glancing over the Pak Guard

The Story of Autism

2011-10-03T11:26:00.014+08:00

There has been many films made about people living with autism, from east to west, such as 'Rain Man' from Hollywood, played by Tom Cruise. 'My Name is Khan' from Bollywood, played by Shah Rukh Khan, and our very own 'Sekali Lagi' from Greenwood, Gombak played by Sam and Lisa Surihani (although it might be wiser for the director to consult a doctor about the symptoms of autism first, which are persistent and life long, not episodic like in that movie). These movies were quite interesting and gives a great insight towards people who previously had no idea about autism. However, how interesting these movies might seem to me, nothing compares to the story of autism I saw last week, right in front of my eyes. It was when we organized a community project at the National Autism Society of Malaysia (NASOM) near Taman Tasik Titiwangsa. While not many of the children have the looks like Tom Cruise or Shah Rukh Khan, unlike children with other genetic diseases like Down's or Turner's syndrome, these children look perfectly normal...and adorable! Just look at them:

Aww...

Awww...

Awwww...

Aw....Erk?!

But looking perfectly normal has their disadvantages for children with mental disabilities. Sometime people just judge others by their appearance, just because they look normal doesn't mean that they don't have difficulties and we don't have to help them. Because they look normal, sometimes they are denied of disability privileges. Without proper diagnosis by a psychiatrist, it is quite hard to confirm that a children has autism. These children present with various symptoms, varying in severity and manner, and there is no one definite symptoms that can confirm the diagnosis. A thorough evaluation must be done. Some of the symptoms include a stand-offish manner,inappropriate laughing (they laugh at almost anything), showing no fear of real dangers (a grizzly bear might appear in front of them and they might just play with it), apparent insensitivity to pain (they sometimes bite their own arms when frustrated), difficulty with mixing with other children (these are the main problems they face in school), adverse to cuddling (they just don't want to be cuddled!), sustained odd play (they can play with a toy train for hours, just pushing them back and forth again and again), crying tantrums for no reason (you don't want this to happen while you're playing with them) and many more.

However, despite those setbacks, autistic children can have a wide range of intellectual ability. Just look at Shah Rukh Khan in the movie my name is Khan, he has an amazing ability in memorizing things. Children with autism can also have other extraordinary abilities in mathematics, mechanical skills, music and many more. Some people with autism even went as far as being world renowned and I am sure you have heard of them: Bill Gates (I know what you're thinking. No, I am not kidding, but Bill Gates is autistic, but however he is the high-functioning type. He has an obsession towards coding computer softwares. He coded day and night, and that's how he founded Microsoft Windows), Virginia Woolf, the prolific writer who only writes while standing up, Jane Austen, another prolific writer, Steven Spielberg, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Vincent van Gogh (Source: http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Famous_People_with_Autism)

From my experience there, communicating with them is a hard thing to do. Taking care of them need extreme patience. They can be very mischievous, but yet very lovable. There are high hopes for these children. If only we are aware of their disabilities, understand them and give them a chance to flourish. I am glad that Malaysia has a center which involves in taking care of these children and increasing the awareness of the public towards them. NASOM has many centers all around Malaysia. I am sure that since its establishment since 1986, it has changed a lot of children with autism's life. The visit has impacted me a lot. Every time I hear about autism, I would remember the children I met at Nasom. The child who was obsessed with Ultraman, the child who tiptoes all the time, the child who was very good at puzzles, the child who just couldn't sit down...I would like to make a change in their lives. You can make a change too. How about start by donating to NASOM? You can do so by contacting 03-79843942, emailing info@nasom.com.my or visiting www.nasom.com.my. Let's make this world a better place for all ;)

The Designer in Me

2011-09-24T22:40:00.008+08:00

Other than reading, writing and drinking coffee, I actually have another passion, which is interior designing. I think the only reason none of you have ever heard of this passion of mine is because the only time I get to design and decorate my room is when I move to a new room, which has only been thrice. Ever heard of the lazy designer? Those are the minimalists, and I am one of them. Minimalists emphasize on simplicity, practicality, elegance and, well, minimality. That's why people call us lazy. Enough said, let pictures do the talking. This is my room in college, most of the stuff in here were bought in Ikea and no, I am not paid by Ikea to do this post ;)

My sanctuary

The view from my studying table

My lovely espresso bar. Where I wake up to a perfect cup of espresso with just a touch of a button and a dollop of hazelnut or toffee nut syrup

My faithful Coldplay poster where I bring along to each room I move into

The Path I Am On

2011-09-19T12:18:00.012+08:00

I went for follow up today. My tympanic membrane is now intact, which means I can now swim and fly, but my high-frequency hearing lost and tinnitus is still there. At this point, it's most likely going to be permanent. But yeah, I'm past the grieving period over the lost, so it didn't sadden me much. It takes some time to get use to this slight disability. Sometimes people call my name from behind and I have no idea where the voice came from. Last week I was caught with wandering attention by a lecturer during clinics when in fact I was paying attention to my tinnitus which gets louder in closed and quiet clinics. Oh, don't let me start with the operating theatre, where people talk in whispers. I tried to assist a surgeon and end up passing over the scissors to another student just after 30 minutes because I cut when I am not supposed to and did not cut when I am supposed to. 'Cut (whispers)' 'Cut...cut, cut! CUT!' He goes, and hey ho cherio I go!

I also went to psychiatric ward round today. There was this young lady who got very depressed and tried to kill herself because her mental illness made her unable to work or earn money so she felt that she was useless and a burden to herself and her family. I guess one of the things that got me going on is seeing others that have illnesses worse than mine. I have the chance to see it every single day, and every time I see other people who have worse disability than me, I felt thankful and appreciative of what I still have. My dad asked me why I wasn't depressed after I've learned about my permanent disability. I asked him 'Should I be?'. He said most of his patients got depressed and traumatized after learning they had a similar disability as mine, and I should learn my lesson of not joining anymore stupid outdoor games. So being a faithful son, I followed his advice and went on being depressed the next week for 5 days. Yeah, it was an awesome experience but I don't think I want to do it again.

Living with tinnitus actually sucks. Imagine having a ringing sound in your head 24 hours for the rest of your life. There is no moment of silence for me. But to take it positive, I just imagine this ringing in my head is a call. A call which is a constant reminder for me to always work towards being a better person. So when I do nothing but sit around, I will start paying attention to the ringing sound...and that is where I am reminded to get up and do something productive. I have to keep myself busy doing something to distract myself from the sound. I'm just glad that when it didn't affect my relaxing ritual sitting in cafes because although coffee exaggerates tinnitus for awhile, hearing music on the headphone masks the ringing sound.

While my hearing loss might limit my career choice of specialization, unlike the young woman I saw this morning, at least I can still work in other specialties that doesn't need me to hear soft subtle sounds from the chest. Or being in operating theaters. Or quiet clinics. I've always wanted to be a physician and specialize in infectious disease. But being a physician involves a lot of precise hearing of the chest sounds. Maybe I'll just move on to something I have always been interested in, like hospital management, health care planning, health economics and stuff. Influence something big in the Ministry of Health, or maybe work for the World Health Organization in Geneva, save the world and things like that. You know, the big picture.

All in all, despite all the things that happened to me, I am quite happy with the way things are now. I can still study and carry out my responsibilities, I can still have fun with friends. I still hold on to my favorite phrase: 'life is too short to be miserable, are you who you want to be?'. By the way a psychiatrist sensed there was something wrong with me, called me up after clinics, found out my problems and suggested me to do my own personal CBT, which stands for 'Cognitive Behavior Therapy'. I told her ''It's okay doc, I don't need CBT, all need is CBTL: Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf'' ;)

Some coffee ritual I do at airports

On Expectations

2011-09-14T19:45:00.009+08:00

Most of the time, we are bogged down with the expectation of others, held back from achieving great things in life because the fear of 'what will people say' or 'how would people respond to what I say or do?' Making a decision is not a popularity contest. Decide to do the right thing, not necessarily the the most popular thing. I have learned the hard way that as long as you know that you are in the right, it does not really matter what people say or how people respond. Those are actually their problem, not yours

The Ocean in Me

2011-09-06T21:47:00.015+08:00

I woke up in the middle of the ocean to the sounds of sea waters slapping against the ship. I realized that sunshine has slipped its way between the golden silk curtains. As I drew them open, mounds of majestic mountains greeted me, seeming to float above the shimmering waters, reflecting the lively morning sun. In the far distant, I saw some other ships on sail, moving out of the alcove we were anchored in for the night. Some people above the decks were taking pictures of the sun shining its glory between the limestone islets. My mind recalled an article read a few weeks ago about the sunrise in Ha Long bay. The view was some of the most coveted in the world of photo enthusiasts. Impossible to be appreciated by land, it takes at least two hours from the shores to sail into this magical wonder. Just as I put my feet on the wooden floor, the sounds of rattling chains was heard indicating the anchor was being pulled up, and the ship was ready to set sail again.

I went to the upper deck for breakfast. Some of the other passengers were already having theirs. I chose a corner spot by the window so I could admire the glorious view as I had my breakfast. I was never a loyal breakfaster, often substituting the morning meal with just coffee and biscuits (not a good habit, I know). The memory from the previous day’s visit to the magnificent floating fishing village still lingers in my mind as I was having this proper breakfast I rarely took. I never thought people could live and make a living on sea waters. Perhaps the rather serene waters of the bay, protected from violent ocean waves by the surrounding limestone islands has made the place a safe haven. The place has a legend, as told by our guide. ‘There was a war between the local people and the Chinese invaders’ he said in a typical Vietnamese accent. ‘A family of dragons sent down from heaven to defend the land. These dragons spit out jewels and jade, which turned into the islands and islets surrounding the bay. The people were protected from the invaders by these walls of limestone islands’ he continued. ‘The dragons were enchanted by the beauty of the bay they have made themselves, the dragons decided to live among the local people’.

Beautiful story, I thought. Those people he told of fish for a living until the present day. Their houses floated on water in the middle of the ocean, far from the lands, but the sight of lights, television and electric generator proves that human beings hardly escaped modernity. As I was passing by the floating houses I saw a mother holding her baby by the waters, staring unblinkingly to the sea waters, mesmerized by the reflection of the sun. Come a few more years, the baby might have grown up to be mesmerized by her own reflection on the waters than the reflection of the sun. At a place like this, I wondered at what age the child learns to swim. As there were no walkways between houses, they had to either swim, or use sampans to get from one house to another.

I turned my view from the vast ocean to the other passengers in the dining area. Except for me, everyone on this trip came in pairs. It made sense, I thought, since I myself would consider this cruise perfect for a honeymoon trip. The other passengers had already got used seeing me alone throughout the journey. They must have mistaken me for a reviewer for some travel magazine or blog. It was later I realized that with the notebook and camera I carry around with me all the time, I did look like one. As awkward as it gets sometime, there is a certain kind of serenity when I spend some time alone marveling the spectacle of nature. I have always disagreed when people equate being alone with being lonely. While being in the company of others and having someone to talk to is healthy, being alone once in awhile just thinking about life, marveling the breath-taking nature, or just watching the world pass by is necessary for the health of the mind. I call this the period of detachment. Sitting around doing nothing but think seems counter-productive, but it is a lot better than running around being busy with no idea where you are heading to. Thinking about life, what we are going to do with it, what it means to us, and what it really is about gives us a better perspective once we are out in the world full of people again. Life is about balance. Like these oceans, the ocean in us has its own high and low tides. Sometimes they are rough, sometimes they are calm. Treasure the ocean in us

The engines had stopped roaring as I walked out to the decks. We visited a cave, went kayaking, fishing, hill climbing and such. All those experience was invigorating, but nothing compares to the night before, an enchanting moment I will never forget. As I sat at the roof deck of the ship as the sun set, the ship sailed towards an alcove. I watched the mountains fade away, and the stars came out. I stared at the stars, realizing how small and insignificant we are compared to the universe. If life was meant to be hard and serious, why was I smiling?

Delightful Days in Ipswich

2011-08-22T23:05:00.030+08:00

One early summer in 2011, a quartet of students were flown 6557 miles across the continent from Malaysia to the United Kingdom to ultimately find themselves in the small, strange town of Ipswich, one of the oldest town in England where the locals spoke in a queer medieval English accent and the bus stops face the opposite side of the road. These are the students of the arts of healing, or medicine as some call it. They were sent to this peculiar town with the trust of their Professors to learn the ways of curing ailments associated with the ear, nose and throat, commonly known in abbreviation as ENT. Although they went on separate voyages from Malaysia to this foreign land, along their stay in Ipswich they would stay close when it comes to their intellectual endeavours inside the four walls of the hospital named after the town itself: Ipswich Hospital, where stories of birth, growth, decline and death were confined into. The long hallways of the hospital were lined with glass windows and dozens of artwork by an artist by the name of David Poole, and each morning they would make their way past these hallways to the east side of the hospital, where their morning feast awaits. Devouring the typical menu consisting of fried eggs, hash browns and bread as fast as possible, they would then rush towards the opposite side of the hospital and ascend to the second floor where the square one of morning rounds is.

As opposed to the hospital they were used to back in their homeland, there was no dedicated ward for ENT patients in Ipswich Hospital. The patients were scattered in different wards around the hospital, compelling them to travel from one ward to another, making out their typically British names: Stowupland, Somersham, Framlingham, Brantham and Martlesham to name a few. Wards to wards, patients were found one by one by this flock of gleeful doctors and upon reaching their beds, their elated moods would be tuned down to suit the patients’ temperament. Curtains were drawn around the bed, temporarily delineating them from the rest of room, allowing transactions of confidential information about their illness to take place, followed by questions, answers and advice, which would all be simmered down into two opposing conclusions: ‘you can go home now’ or ‘you need to stay a bit longer’. Customarily, compliments would be given to the doctors for the former, and complaints for the latter. Along their way to see another patient, the doctors would also discuss deliberately among themselves in quiet chatter about further plans for the latter case. One by one, the patients were seen, greetings were exchanged, compliments and complaints were gathered, and patients were sent home, until they eventually arrive at the clinics, marking the end of the morning rounds and the beginning of consultation hours.

Arrival upon the clinics on the South side would usually be greeted by pleasant and courteous nurses, most memorable was the one by the name of Celia, who has a way of saying ‘good morning’ in a cheerful manner to which the students would have a difficult time not to reply with a fairly equal amount of cheer. Their path would temporarily separate here as they reach for different doors numbered one to four, finding themselves in a small room with a large window which the nurses would slide downwards to let the refreshing summer air in, a big table for the deliberate work of the doctor, a small sink for the killing of germs, and numerous other doctor’s tools of trade. Laid in a perfect triangle were 3 chairs of different shape and size. The smallest and most ordinary of them all was for the students to sit and listen, the larger one that swivels around was for the doctor to sit and talk, and the largest one with hand rests, which when tilted fully forms into a bench, was for the sick one to be treated. For hours, the doctors would attend to the patients while the students listen attentively to doctor-patient conversation.

The gap of time in between patients was the only time for the students to ask questions to the doctors and vice versa. With names such as Hilger, Yung, Baska, Satish, Raj, Ogunniyi, Qureshi and Anjayi, it is not difficult to swerve away from medical themes and ask the doctors where they were actually from, followed by the question of ‘where the doctors of actual English descent have gone to?’, but the students feel that it is not a fitting question to ask, for the fear of being accused of chauvinism. Sometimes, the patients can be quite amusing but laughers were held as long as the patients were still in. Once out the door, they would burst out in laughter at the punched nose, ear plugs left in the ear, or the small toy left in the child’s nose. Sometimes the doctors can be quite amusing too. Once a doctor point out to one of the student that her dress was too long, when in fact she was wearing the traditional Malay dress ‘baju kurung’ which was meant to be that long. This happened for hours, until noon where lunch calls for a break, and in the evening they would either go on with the clinics or they would scrub into inky blue surgery attire and enter the operating theatre where miracles happen by the minutes.

Such were their daily endeavours in Ipswich that it became a routine for them to gain knowledge this way, every day. Without them realizing, it was nearly the end of their venture in the foreign land. On their last day, they spent time taking photos, hoping to capture the good memories together with these lot of joyful people. But nothing compares to the memories that will replayed again and again later in their minds . One of the students who had this sheer love of cafés experience went to a perfect one he found by the pier. He admired the glow of the evening sun and the sight of boats docking in and sailing out of Ipswich. Sipping coffee, listening to the likes of Jack Johnson, Kings of Convenience and Damien Rice, he lets his mind meditate. Suddenly each and every moment, even small things, feels much more meaningful. Soon he will be home, shouldering more responsibilities and living more expectations. But none of those worries bothered him. He was in a state of total detachment. For a moment, he was in a total peace of mind. Like a painter, come whatever, he thought, he will take time to close his eyes and paint this feeling of tranquillity and continue to live the life he was bound to live.

Revivify

2011-08-18T05:44:00.024+08:00

I think the coolest things on earth are those which are both:

1) Simple
2) Elegant

I tried to redesign my blog to fulfill those two criteria. After a whole night tinkering around, I think this design would do. I'm also happy that I can now post uncompressed high resolution photos like the one I took up there. Guess you will see more pictures on this blog from now on. So why the sudden change? If you have been my follower since before the advent of Facebook, when Friendster was still the 'in' thing, you might realize this design is quite similar to the blog I previously had on Friendster. I missed that blog. I had a few posts there, and I had this sudden idea of reading what I wrote there again, just to see how my writings have evolved over the years. But to my disappointment, Friendster is now nothing more than a gaming website, and all the blogs written there has vanished into cyberspace oblivion. There goes my teenage memories.

I think that is the nature of social networking sites. You will never know if someday Facebook will no longer appeal to the young generation, replaced by Google+ or anything better, and all the things that you have written there will be lost. Poof. Just like that. I reckon that blogs are a better way of keeping stuff online, because even if blogspot.com is gone, I can always get my own domain and transfer the same contents into that new domain. I guess I will work more on this blog from now on. It gives me some kind of relief that my significant memories are stored here. Just in case I forget someday

On Taking Time

2011-08-07T13:12:00.030+08:00

‘Damn these city people, never know how to take their time!’’

I’ve always realized that most of the things The Professor said were agreeable with me. But that curse was one of the most agreeable. We were at some traffic light in Amsterdam when the lights just turned green, and just as the Professor was kicking in the gears, the car behind started honking deafeningly.

‘’Where is he going so fast anyway? There are more traffic lights in front!’’, he asked me. A rhetorical question. I just shrugged. The car drove past us, and a few meters later we were next to him again, side by side before another red light. ‘’See?’’ The Professor said, satisfied that his prophecy was fulfilled. He was about to give him the looks, but his son warned him ‘’Careful dad, we might end up in a fight here’’.

His son has lived in Amsterdam for quite some time. He knew how the city people would react. The Professor has always lived in the outskirts, or in small towns where people are less aggressive and had more time. Living in Kuala Lumpur since I was born, I consider myself a city people, but I couldn’t agree more with the Professor’s philosophy about people always rushing around and getting nowhere. Two days spent in his house was enough to show me that.

The Professor is the author of several books in ENT, which are used as textbooks in medical schools around the world, he is invited to almost all the prestigious ENT society meetings and conferences in the world, he has a happy family with equally successful children in different fields (one was a ballerina who’s internationally recognized, the other was an economist for one of the largest bank in the Netherlands, and others I couldn’t recall), and he made some important discoveries in the field of ENT. Yet, his life seems so simple, seems to always have ample amount of time, sometimes you just have to wonder how did he became so successful. He has a beautiful garden full of flowers and every morning he would smoke cigarette (okay, this one is not a good example) in his garden and admire its beauty. Then he would come in, have an espresso, turn on some jazz or blues music and sit to read. When some idea sinks in his mind he would get up into his study to write. Then he would get to work. On evenings he would take his dog for a walk around the neighbourhood. At night he sometimes cooks for his family.

His favourite mode of transport is walking, second by boat (you can get to anywhere in the Netherlands through the canals) and lastly by car, and his car is the smallest Volvo I’ve ever seen (about the size of a ‘Smart Fortwo’), and he likes that car because it is convenient and doesn’t takes much time finding for a parking space and getting it serviced. I loved his sense of simplicity.

Boats are common mode of transport in the Netherlands

Jazz might be a good choice to unwind

One of the evenings, as we were sipping coffee by the garden, he asked me about my plans after medical school. I told him the usual script, finishing medical school, undergo housemenship for 2 years, go on becoming an MO, then a specialist. ''Well that’s not very clever’’, he said. I wasn’t surprised, I got used to the way Dutch people tell things: direct and straight to the point. ‘’You’re still young, you know, there’s so much time left for you’’. He told me to learn something new. ‘’You can work when you’re older, but now at a young age is where you learn and let the creativity spark. You have much more energy’’. This idea might be so foreign to us, but that is how things are in most western countries. They take time to learn something new, take a year off to write, do research, get another degree not related to the ones before. I am not saying it’s the right way to do things, but it is very different from our culture of rushing from one phase of life to another. Finishing medical school ASAP, then finish houseman ASAP, get a specialist training ASAP, but in the end where are we going? Maybe taking a year off to work with some NGOs at the most desperate of places is more satisfying, or writing a monumental book that people will read long after you die, or do research that makes science forever indebted to you.

If there is a notion that busyness equals success, The Professor is the epitome of its fallacy. Maybe, in this modern world people always equate busyness with productivity. The busier you are (or you may seem) the more productive you are. Watching The Professor living his daily life begged me to differ. Some people strive so hard but are not going anywhere. Perhaps they are trying too hard doing insignificant things. Or maybe struggle too much in preparing things, but when the real moment that really counts: an interview, a presentation, or even a date, they falter.

In economics, there is a law called ‘The Pareto’s Law’ which states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. In business, researches shown that in most companies, 80% of their sales come from only 20% of their products (cash cow products, as business people call it). Taking these principles into daily life, 80% of successes in life can be attributed to focusing on the 20% of efforts. Some people call this ‘The Law of Least Effort’.

How many times have you a heard about students who seems to know everything crumbled in exams? Maybe they focused on the 80%, but neglected the 20% really matters: The gist of the theoretical knowledge that can be uttered flawlessly during presentations and exams. Or perhaps they neglected to simplify their knowledge into meaningful words for a stressful peri-exam brain. Or maybe about the story where someone tries to satisfy each and every one of her friend and fans but in the end neglected the 20% of people who really matter in their life? Or about the people who work so hard every day but ends up with a heart attack for failing to include exercising and eating healthy food into the crucial 20% of his life?

Identifying the 20% of things we need to put our efforts into is not easy, and differs from person to person. Someone might say that writing contributes to 80% of their success while they only spend 20% of their time doing it. Some say it is it includes reading, attending courses, spending time with family, exercising or joining a cause. I guess it all comes down to prioritization. Once you’ve identified the 20% if things to be prioritized, you will find that you actually have an abundance of time. Spend time on the 20% of things that matters and the rest will come by itself. May you become one of the most successful and happy people on earth

For The Professor, his 20% is writing and researching. His papers and books made him well-known all around the world. He realized that, and continued to focus his energy on that small portion of overall time. Hence, he has more time doing leisurely things with people he cares about.

As we arrived at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam, he walked me to the departures. ‘’Well, it was nice having u to stay with us’’ he said. I don’t know how to thank him enough, but told him I appreciate his courtesy very much, and we waved goodbye. As he walked away, I can imagine him going back to his laid back life, taking his time, sipping coffee, having a laugh with family and friends, and some time when ideas arrive, he will be up in his study to write yet another masterpiece.

Trying out some shoes at Zaanstad's wooden shoe workshop

Bounce!

2011-08-03T02:17:00.017+08:00

For the last two weeks, I essentially did two postings in one. With only one working ear, the other one discharging fluids, and did I mention my head is producing a constant ringing sound out of nowhere? There’s no big deal skipping classes more than a week in high school, but in medical school, a week is equivalent to a semester in high school. Plus, I am in my short postings where one posting lasts for only 2-3 weeks. I was admitted for more than a week, and by the time I get back to class my ophthalmology posting was ending and I have to go on with anaesthesiology. At first I thought of just going ‘the hell with it’, and repeat the whole semester. With constant headaches and vertigo, I even considered repeating the whole year! But I knew I’m better than that. I’ve been through some crazy things in life. Though nothing has been more painful than this (since the eardrum is one of the most innervated organs in our body, a perforated eardrum rated 9/10 on the pain scale, similar to having a heart attack, but of course less painful than giving childbirth), I can’t let this bring me down.

So I held on. Staying in the operating theatre learning anaesthesiology morning till evening, and continue with ophthalmology clinics till sunset, and continue writing case write ups for both postings at night. Filling log books for both postings, alternating between ophthalmology clinics looking into 20 pairs of eyes and presenting each one to the consultant, then enter the operating theater to observe spinal taps, dural taps and whatever else taps there is in this world. Then there's the mini clinical examination for ophthalmology and Basic Life Support examinations for anaesthesiology. Hell, I don’t even know how I did all those things in just two weeks. Well, there are nights where I just broke down into depression and ask the usual question of 'why is this happening to me?'. But to think of it, many great things also happened to me in the past, and how come I didn't ask 'why is all of these great things happening to me?' Everything that is sent down to me, whether it is a great thing or a disaster, is from the Almighty. Who am I to choose only the great things and fret upon the bad? I have to accept all that is given, good or bad, because I believe, in the end, everything that He sent down to me is for my own good. I just don't realize it yet. So to be fair, I just bounced.

I am supposed to be in Denmark right now for the IFMSA General Assembly and in Hong Kong last week to do my presentation on Health Economics that I worked my ass off preparing for months. Both are burned now since my ears are busted and I can't ride a plane for some time. Well, they say that you can't always get what you want. But I will never stop trying, I will grow through this pain to be stronger and better than ever

Tinnnnnitus

2011-07-19T20:47:00.006+08:00

It is one thing to lose a hearing in one ear, but it is another thing for it to be replaced by a constant ring. A stubborn ring. The more I request for silence, the louder it gets. My silence is now loud. But you know I won't give in

A Fork Stuck in the Road

2011-07-15T05:29:00.003+08:00

I am a disabled whose scars will never heal
It is time for me to go upon a different path
The former me goes to die - which is better
Only God knows
For He has made me strong
But He makes me stronger yet

Things Are Looking Up: Thanks For The Wishes And Prayers

2011-07-06T20:57:00.003+08:00

Dear everyone, thank you for the get well soon wishes and constant flow of visits to my ward room, especially to my parents and family members for being here most of the time. I can't express how blessed I am to have so many people who care. The past 3 days has been a true challenge, the injury took away half of my hearing, my balance and my ability to walk straight (I keep falling to the left). It takes huge amount of mind concentration to ignore the pain and ringing in my ear. Although my brain fluids (or CSF, for the medically inclined) are still leaking, the flow seems to be reducing by time. Things are getting better today, and hey, I can even write a note on FB using my BB! I am now on antibiotics to prevent infections which could be nasty if it reaches my brain. But let's just hope that won't happen.

So it has been 4 days since I've seen the sunlight. It's funny how when I am healthy I set my goals so high, contemplating the next big thing to do, but now all I want is to see the sunlight. I can only guess the weather outside from the sounds of wind or rain going through the bathroom ventilator. I wish I can just go out and appreciate the weather, but I can't walk without risking a fall, and hence risking further CSF leakage. What I want is just to see the world outside, listen to music with both my ears, and walk to anywhere I want to without risking a fall. Who cares about the sounds of Optimus Prime transforming? I just want to hear the sound of the winds. Oh, how we always take things for granted when they are in abundance. I'm not saying that we should stop setting our goals high when we're strong and healthy, it's just that we shouldn't stop appreciating the little beautiful things in life along the way and be thankful to Allah for just having all the senses to be able to do so.

I guess the same goes to our relationships with people. When we're around healthy and busy with our daily work we tend to ignore families and friends. We're just to busy to reply messages and answer calls. But when we're lying sick and helpless, they are the ones that we wish would come and visit us. Simple written words by such as 'get well soon' are appreciated most when we get them from these people, even if they can't make it to visit you. Sometimes we just prioritize the wrong people. We worry more about bad things strangers think and talk about us than the sincere advice and warnings of families and friends. We tend to please people who don't care if you are on your bed jumping, lying sick or dying than people who will do whatever it takes to help you in times of need. Why do we only appreciate the presence of our loved ones only either when we're going, or when they're gone? Oh humans, we're full of irony

But I guess the most important thing of all is to be thankful to Allah for our health or just for being alive for another day. I turned my head just in time for the force to miss my eye and hit my ear instead. What if it hit my eyes? Now that would be worse. Doctor also says I'm lucky that my facial nerves are okay. She said a patient at the clinic had a similar injury as mine, but his facial nerves are damaged, so he can't move his face muscles. You won't know even if he's smiling. Alhamdulillah my facial nerves are fine, I am still able to smile, and smile I will ;). Doctor says my balance and ability to walk straight will return in a few weeks, but she's not so sure about the hearing loss. Oh well, let's pray for the best. I hope you can pray for me too ;)

It feels so good to be writing again without bouts of vertigo. Half of my hearing may be lost, but as long as my brain can still think properly, and my hands are able to write, I will keep on writing to share the lessons of my life. Please feel free to share my writings if you feel that it could be beneficial to the people that you care. Thank you

A Great British Peace Evengelist Dies, But His War Against War Goes On

2011-06-22T20:44:00.002+08:00

London back in December 2009 was an exciting moment for me because it has been quite some time since the last time I was there. Actually, the last time I was there, I had no memory of it at all. I was a little child. Hence, London the second time was as exciting as the first time, seeing the Big Ben, the Parliament building, the London and Tower Bridge and all. But amongst these classic medieval buildings, lush and proper, were something of peculiar. A sight to most people is ugly and out of place. Here right in front of the Parliament building, stood erected worn out tents along with worn out posters in the background, stuck on rusty metal cages. It looked like a squatter ground to me. It is definitely out of place, and is definitely a curious sight. However, I couldn’t entertain my curiosity for long since I have a lot to see. I dismissed it as a rather typical rally, and just moved on

Then I was in London again near the end of 2010, and, to my surprise, the exact same squatter ground is still there. But I was passing by the Parliament Square in a taxi, so again, I could not satisfy my curiosity. This is not just a rally, I thought. From the inside of the taxi, I read out the words from the posters. Luckily the traffic was congested, enabling me to read (but not so lucky enough because me and my friend missed our bus to Cardiff and burnt our tickets). But at least I managed to observe the posters. They were all about anti-war: ‘Stop invasion in Iraq’, ‘Stop killing our kids’, ‘Tony B-liar’ and many more interesting posters. Among these tent and poster, were a man, looking like a squatter himself, untidy, unkempt and giving an impression of a madman, sitting on a chair, loudhailer on his hand, preaching something. I couldn’t make out what he was saying from the inside of the taxi I am in, but from his ferocious expression, I could tell it is something he is so passionate to talk about.

Last week I was in London again, and I was not too surprised to see the squatter ground again. All I could wonder was ‘Why didn’t these powerful people in this Parliament building in front remove these unsightly squatter ground?’ If it were in my country, I guess all this rally would be gone within hours thanks to FRUs, tear gases and water pressures. However, there was something missing on that ground that day. No longer there was the man on the fold up chair with his loudhailer. Perhaps he went to do things people do daily, you know, meet up with friends, buy some stuff, get something to eat. However, having spent a week in these British hospitals, it suddenly crossed my mind that he might be sick, lying somewhere inside a hospital

Today, as I was flipping through the newspaper, looking for new stories about the National Health Service plans, I found a story which satisfies my curiosity I have been having for years, but somehow saddens me at the same time. The man with the loudhailer on the fold-up chair in Parliament square has just died. Judging from his unkempt, unwashed look, I never thought he was such an important figure of free speech here in Britain, but now his death is all over the news, and I finally get to know his name: Brian Haw.

I learned that Brian Haw has been living inside the tents at the Parliament Square since 2001. It has been a decade, and he never moved. Every single day he preached to the passers-by about the damage of war, about how the invasion of Iraq killed thousands of innocents, how Tony Blair (or Tony B-liar, as he called the ex-Prime Minister) is killing their own children by sending them to war. His preaching involves topic about different issues in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Libya and other countries but all of them has the same theme: Say no to war. Most of the issues he’s passionate about are about Muslim counties, and he is an evangelical Christian. He has a hat full of badges that he proudly wears every day. One of the big ones read: Keep my Muslim neighbours safe. He does preach to passers-by about living a more Christian lives, but his message of peace resounds to all and are hard not to be accepted by people of all beliefs. I believe that is what religions is all about: Peace, and Mr Haw really lives it by going against war. But now he died at the age of 62, and judging from the news, Britain has lost its key figure in free-speech.

It is amazing to me how he stayed and survived in that tent for a decade, but I believe when you are fighting for a cause that you are really passionate about, you will have this mysterious, super-human like strength to go on. I admire his noble cause, sacrificing a pleasant life to fight for people he didn’t even know, people who has different beliefs, and people who he has nothing to benefit from. I admire his ability to look differences, beyond nationality, race or religions, and fight injustice no matter towards whom. How many of us who has the same belief as the victims of war, but are ignorant about it? It is a shame that someone who has nothing to do are better at protecting the rights of war victims.

The more Mr Haw shouted through his loudhailer, the more the politicians in the Parliament building in front wanted to move him away. But they never did, even after a decade. That interests me. Parliament square is a historic place, a public place for tourists, and Mr. Haw being there created a lot of noise through his loudhailer. A nuisance, to many. But there he stood for years. I wonder if he has some connections, or the government here are open to free-speakers. I could imagine what would have happen if someone made a camp in front of the Parliament building in my country. It would be moved away in minutes using every methods available to the FRUs. Tear gasses, water pressures, etc. Much about corruption in the government Mr Haw has revealed, but the government let him be.

Most government in this world are corrupt, but not many governments are brave enough to let people talk about that corruption. Just a thought to take home. Peace

Mr Brian Haw

His grounds in Parliament Square

Vietnam War: Differing Stories told through Washington DC and Ho Chi Minh City

2011-05-24T15:22:00.001+08:00

I am now in Ho Chi Minh City, just came back from a Vietnam War Memorial here. I went to a place with a similar name when I was in Washington DC 2 years ago, but the similarity ends in the name. Inside, both places tell two different stories, but of the same event.

Throughout my teenage years, I've always been fed by the Washington side of the story through movies like Rambo and video games like Battlefield and Call of Duty. Ultimately, I was fed by those stories again through the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington. All the while I was there, the tourist guide and signages keep sending these messages into my brain: ''These American people fought for democracy, even for strangers far away from home'', ''They are freeing the Vietnamese from oppression and poverty'', ''This is a war for human rights''. Oh, you know all those American government bullshit

After my visit to Ho Chi Minh Vietnam War Memorial today, I realize how naive was I to believe what I heard and saw in Washington. So many details of the war were left out. Now that I've seen the pictures and videos of the American people during their occupation in Vietnam, I even despise playing Call of Duty: Black Ops killing the Vietnamese. I'd rather play the game now, turn on 'friendly fire' and shoot all my comrades, even if it means: ''Game Over, Friendly Fire Are Not Tolerated''.

In the memorial here in Ho Chi Minh, there were many accounts of the Vietnam war as seen by the Vietnamese themselves. There was a video of one American soldier shooting a young civilian just walking by the city, a photo of a mother and a young daughter burning to death by the American chemical weapon, and a whole lot of B-52 bombers bombing the villages along with its innocent people (Not to mention how many Vietnamese were raped during their occupation here). Nope, you won't see this in Washington.

There was no freeing the people from oppression and giving them democracy by the Americans. They were free and well off before the American came. When thay came in 1954 and install their puppet Ngo Dinh Diem in South Vietnam, the people there revolted against him in a series of attacks and demonstrations. Why would the local people attack someone claiming to be 'freeing them from oppression'? Because they were not oppressed, and it is him who is oppressing the people

However, the Vietnamese were never stupid. They've driven away the French Army during the First Indochina war in the 1940s, and driving away the American Army from their country is just another day in their daily life. I have to respect the Vietnamese for winning the war against the Americans with such low technology and limited resources. The Chu Chi tunnel they built was absolutely amazing. They are so smart that they built kitchens underground, but diverting the smoke from their cooking somewhere else far away. So when they cook, the smoke comes out at someplace else where there's no inhabitants, and the Americans, seeing smoke frequently coming out of that area, thought that that was the place the Vietnamese were hiding. So they sent a whole lot of B-52 bombers to bomb that area, and the Vietnamese were happily enjoying the food they just cooked, laughing at the sounds of B-52 bombers wasting their ammunition killing no one in the jungles. Smart, aren't they?

It is funny how the Americans spent billions and sent thousands of their own people to die to take over such a small and poor country. I wonder what do they get after they have lost. Don't get me wrong. I am not anti-American. As a boy growing up in Boston, I was taught about the American values of acceptance, humanity and the dignity. I could only wonder why they're government are not run by people who taught me all the good values. If only their government practice what their citizens preach, America would earn a worldwide respect. Even today, years after the Vietnam war, the American government hasn't learn their lesson well. They continue invading other countries, now in the middle-east, for their greedy purposes. So there's only two types of American I hate: The politicians, and the soldiers stupid enough to stay in the American Army

The resilience of the Vietnamese people won them the war, and their resilience is still evident today, translated into economics and politics. The last of the American Army left Vietnam in 1975, that's just like 35 years ago, and today, Vietnam's economy is booming fast. Just take a city tour around Ho Chi Minh and you'll see what I mean. In comparison to my country, which has been free for 54 years, I wonder if someday they would surpass us? Or did they already?

Confusions Regarding The Freezing of Medical Courses in Malaysia

2011-05-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

I have been receiving many emails and Facebook messages asking about the freezing of medical courses until 2016. I will try to answer them here. Many have been misled to believe that Malaysia will not be taking anymore medical students from now until 2016. Fact is: the freezing if effective towards new medical courses, not new medical students. In other words, there will be no more licenses given by the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) to new institutions wishing to set up a medical degree. Existing medical degree courses are unaffected and will still be taking in students according to their own quotas. So there’s no such thing as ‘no more juniors’ or ‘SPM school-leavers won’t be able to take medicine’.

This decision is subsequent to the forecasted surplus of medical housemen overwhelming public hospitals by 2015, which was highlighted November last year in The Star, which I commented in my previous note ‘’A Future of Too Many Doctors - A Grave Concern For Medical Students’’ (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=178889192122594). This move hopes to reduce the number of housemen in public hospitals. Hope this note clears up the confusion, and do share this with concerned friends.

Thank you

Lutfi Fadil Lokman
Chairman Elect 2011/12
Society of Medical Students,
Malaysian Medical Association

My Thoughts On Osama's Death

2011-05-04T21:08:00.001+08:00

This note is written assuming that Osama and his death are real, as for at the time of this writing, we can’t tell with much certainty (burial at sea, fake photos and witnesses near Osama’s compound). Whether it's a propaganda or not, I think it’s best to leave them to conspiracy theorists. What I would like to focus on is: If Osama does exist and if he is a Muslim, are the things he did justified? I’ve seen many responses on Facebook supporting violence that Osama purportedly did, which includes:

I pray that another Osama will be born and destroy all the American people and Jews alike
Osama has fallen syaheed, and there is no place for him but Jannah for his Jihad against oppression
I pray that Osama is blessed and placed in Jannah for the justice he brought to the Muslim people

While I do respect people who go on a Jihad, and have absolutely no right to judge whether Osama goes to Jannah or not, the question that enters my mind is: Was what he did a Jihad? Was it a war against oppression? Did it bring justice to the Muslim people? This is what I think: If Osama does exist, the things he did were neither Jihad, justice nor war against oppression. A war is defined as ‘a state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state’. When targets are unarmed, when innocent people became the mark, then it is not a war against oppression but an act of cowardice. It is not a Jihad. Jihad fi sabilillah means ‘striving in the way of Allah’. Contrary to popular western belief, Jihad is not synonymous to ‘holy war’. Striving in the way of Allah is NOT equivalent to war. It could mean striving to improve our faith in Allah, striving to improve the Muslim society as a whole and striving to defend Islam. Violence is not the only way to defend Islam. In places where Muslims are clearly oppressed by violence like in Palestine, it is fitting to retaliate in war. But during that course of war, Islam prohibits us from attacking women, children and innocent people alike. Yes, the Zionists violated all human rights by killing innocent people, but does that mean we have to be like them? If we did what they did, then we are the same filthy creatures roaming the earth as they are.

I have a great opportunity to have a lunch talk with one Palestinian medical student in one of the conferences I went to. The essence of his message during the chat is that they don’t need us to come to Palestine wielding weapons with intentions for Jihad. These are his exact words: ‘’Help us from your homes by gaining knowledge that can improve the lives of Muslims around the world. Don’t worry about our armed conflicts, for years, we have learned to defend ourselves’’

Osama’s ideology to put a stop to the oppression of Muslims was admirable, but the technique he used in executing his ideology was unacceptable. He was an absolutely rich man. He has all the resources to do a different kind of Jihad, a Jihad that could improve the Muslim society around the world that subsequently puts an end to oppression. How I wish he had used his resources to change the lives of many young Muslims by giving them a chance for education. How I wish he would spend his resources helping Muslims break out of poverty by giving them a chance to start over their lives with financial help. How I wish he used his great charisma to become a leader that fight against corruptions in Muslim countries. It seems unfitting to teach young children how to handle an AK-47 before they even learn how to read. It is unfair to kill innocent people in America, hide in the mountains, and let the innocent people in Iraq and Afghanistan take the blow of retaliation by the western armies. Killing innocent people may satisfy himself for a short while, but it does not help the Muslim society at all. In fact, it puts Muslims around the world in great insecurity. After 9/11, how many Muslim women had to abandon their hijab to protect themselves for being aggressed? How many young Muslims are shunned away from their circle of friends? How many Islamic religious talks had to be cancelled in fear being attacked? If his mission is to stop oppression against Muslims, it is safe to say that he failed terribly in that.

I am against all sorts of violence. Hence, on the American part, killing Osama shouldn’t be their top priority. It’s like hacking on the biggest fruit of a tree that still has rock-solid roots. Trees, of course, will always bear another fruit (unless it’s a banana tree). They don’t get the whole idea of why Al-Qaeda was there in the first place. Radicalism emerges for a reason. Instead of prioritizing the death of Osama, why not make it a top priority to stop supporting Zionism that clearly kills innocent people on a regular basis? Why not make it a top priority to stop oppressing the Muslims economically? Why not make it a top priority to get their hands the hell off meddling with Muslim counties politics? Why not getting your armies the hell out of our countries? Why not GET YOUR OWN OIL?

I think we can judge things by ourselves. Just because someone claims himself a Muslim does not mean what he did was right. Again, this note is written assuming Osama is real, but if there is anybody who resorts to act of violence and claims himself to be a Muslim, it is best we remind ourselves that violence against innocent people solves NOTHING. As people far away from war, let’s heed my Palestinian friend’s advice: Let’s jihad to improve our faith in Allah, Let’s jihad to improve the Muslim society as a whole and let’s Jihad to secure a place in Jannah =)

How Malacca Was Discovered (Alternate Ending)

2011-05-01T01:10:00.004+08:00

Teacher: Okay everyone, please sit down and open page 23. Today we’re learning about the discovery of Malacca

(Flipping of pages)

Teacher: Aminah, can you find Malacca on the map?

Aminah: Yes, teacher, here it is!

Teacher: Good! Okay, class, who discovered Malacca?

Class: Aminah!

(Silence)

Teacher: Okay, but NO! It’s Parameswara

Class: Ooooh…

Amir: Teacher, who is Parameswara?

Teacher: He’s a prince. He ran away from his home, Palembang because it has fallen into the hands of Majapahit

Amir: Why did he run away from home? Did he hate his parents?

Teacher: No, because his hometown was conquered by outsiders so he has to find a new place to rule

Aminah: Did his parents hate him because he’s bald?

Teacher: Ugh, I told you, this has nothing to do with his parents!

Amir: They’re not related?

Teacher: No, they’re not!

Amir: Then who gave birth to Parameswara?

Teacher: Okay forget it! So one day Parameswara ran away from his parents’ house to find a new home, get it?

Class: Ooooh…

Teacher: First, he went to Temasik, now known as Singapore. At first, the ruler there gave him protection, but then...you know what happened? He killed that ruler!

Amir: OMG! You mean Singapore's name hasn't always been Singapore?

(Long silence)

Teacher: Ugh, yeah…but that’s not the point. Can you focus? I said, he killed the ruler of Temasik in order to become the new ruler!

Aminah: Oh no!!!

(Actually, triggered by the word 'new ruler' Aminah just realized she forgot to bring her new ruler for mathematics)

Teacher: The people of Temasik were angry and didn’t want Parameswara to become their new ruler, so he went off again to a place that will soon become Malacca. Now, who knows where Malacca gets its name from?

Class: (Silence, looking at each other)

Teacher: Okay, so Parameswara was tired from running away, so he went on to rest under a tree by the river, when suddenly came a Kijang. Parameswara brought along his hunting dogs. Uhhh, what a tasty feast the kijang would be! Yum yum! So Parameswara commanded his dogs to catch the kijang...go get 'em my faithful dogs!

Amir: Parameswara can talk dog language?

Teacher: No,it's just for the sake of narration. He must have pointed his fingers at the Kijang and the dog understood

Amir: The dogs can read Parameswara’s mind?

Teacher: Yeah, sort of. ..Anyway, as soon as the dog was about to bite the Kijang, the Kijang kicked the dog away, and into the river!

Aminah: Oh, poor little puppy! Can they swim?

Teacher: No, they can’t

Aminah: So, they drown and died? (watery eyes)

Teacher: I’m afraid so

Aminah: Waaaaaa! (Cries heavily)

Teacher: Now, now Aminah, don’t cry…I was mistaken. I’m sure there are fishermen there at the river, so the dogs must have landed in their boats safe and sound, and the fishermen took them home and feed them to become healthy dogs

Aminah: Really? Yay!

Teacher: So, Parameswara was astonished by the strength of the Kijang. So, he asked his bodyguard ‘I’ve never seen a kijang so strong! What the hell is the name of this tree I’m resting under?’

Amir: Wait, what does the tree has to do with the kijangs and the dogs and the fishermen?

Teacher: Nothing. Because Parameswara already know the name of his dogs, John and Denver, the name of that kijang, Sang Kijang, and also the name of his bodyguard, Ali Rustam, so he needs to ask something he hadn’t known already!

Class: Ooooh…

Teacher: So, the guard answered ‘Uh…I think it’s Malacca’. ‘Malacca?’ Parameswara replied. ''What a great name for a country! That’s it, I’m going to build a country here, and name it Malacca! Melaka Maju 2010!'' So that’s how Malacca was founded

END!

This must be the river that the dogs were kicked into

Dealing with Difficult Days

2011-04-18T23:31:00.002+08:00

Humans brains are capable of adapting to almost anything. Expose yourself to hectic days and learn to deal with difficult people long enough...and soon you'll find yourself living through a hectic day and dealing with such people with a breeze, you can say "What? You call today hectic??'' or ''You call yourself difficult?? Puh-leeeze''

But don't forget to have enough rest and sleep. Our brain organizes the memories of all the lessons we've learned for the day while we're sleeping. Without enough rest and sleep, we break down. My secret to not breaking down is coffee and sleep. While I don't sleep I drink coffee, and while I don't drink coffee I sleep

If Malaysians Rule The World

2011-02-19T01:00:00.002+08:00

Got this idea while nearly dozing off in a 'hubungan etnik' class last Saturday. The lecturer talked about Westernization, and this idea came to me: What if Malaysians rule the world, what would 'Malaysianization' sound like? Here's a sneak peek:

OLD TOWN WHITE COFFEE, BROADWAY, NEW YORK

(The door opens)

Bartender: Welcome to Old Town! What can I get you?

John: Hazelnut white coffee for me…and you?

Jessica: I’ll just have the original white coffee

Bartender: Aite, that’s it? Have a seat, will serve u

John: Great, thanks man!

(John and Jessica took a seat by the window. Outside, it is snowing)

John: Sure is cold outside, nothing like a good cup of hot white coffee!

Jessica: Totally! Thank God we have Old Town at our place. Heard they ain’t got any down in Florida

John: For real? Well that sucks. But ever since Old Town got in here, every other shop’s turning into a café now. Put up weird names too: Starbucks, Coffee Bean, and Gloria Jeans? Can you believe it? I mean, c’mon, who the hell would put up their own name up for a café? If it's Haji Tapah it'd sound cool...but Gloria Jeans??

Jessica: Yeah, well, but I’m sure it’s a long way to go before they can catch up with Old Town. I’ve tried their coffee. Nothing like white coffee…like they’re making white coffee using tea leaves

John: Guess we’ll stick to Old Town for now. Speaking of the weather, have you’ve seen our friends’ photo on Facebook? Those studying overseas…in Malaysia?

Jessica: Hell yeah, God, I’m so jealous of them! There it’s like summer every day, and here we are, stuck in this frickin’cold weather with our cars sinkin‘ in the snow

John: Yeah, I know. Sucks to be us. Why didn’t you study there again? I thought you were on top of your class?

Jessica: Yeah I nailed 2400 for my SAT, 4.00 GPA, 34 for MCATS, and got pending offer for a scholarship to National University of Malaysia, but…

John: Shit, National University of Malaysia…like the ones in the movies?

Jessica: Yeah, like in the movies…anyway, my mom wouldn’t let me go there. You know how Republican she is. Just because Bush didn’t like Mahathir, she has this delusion that the old Harvard school is better than any university in the world. The joint’s 100 years older than this country, for God’s sake!

John: Dang, what a waste! Should have given me your scholarship!

Jessica: Yeah, oh well, it’s kinda hard to enter Malaysia nowadays. We have to apply for VISA now. The government found out that many US citizens overstayed there after finishing their studies

John: Haha, of course, who doesn’t want to? We get better pay there, the job’s secure, and we don’t have to pay a single cent for healthcare services! Geez, I wonder when that Obama will finally walk his healthcare reform talk. It has been years.

Jessica: Hm, oh by the way think I’m gonna visit Malaysia next year.

John: For real? Dang, can I come along please, please, pleaseee? I wanna see their 100 storey mega tower!

Jessica: Where do you live John, in a cave? Don't you ever read MalaysiaKini? Now they're not even sure if they're gonna build that frickin' tower. The Malaysians don't want it.

John: What the hell?! Why?

Jessica: Hell do I know, guess they already got too much towers.

John: Bloody rich country...

Jessica: Yeah. They rule the economy. Anyway, I’m starting to learn Manglish slang now

John: Give me a preview

Jessica: Well, okay: Aiya John, if you want to follow me to Malaysia ah…you got to learn to speak Manglish you knooow? So, how do I sound? Good or not? Goood rite? I know it’s good maa!

John: Holy shit, u sound exactly like Phua Chu Kang’s wife!

Jessica: Phua Chu Kang’s Singaporean

John: Yeah, whatever, they sound the same

Jessica: It seems like everybody’s putting on a fake Manglish accent around here. It’s true what our 'Ethnic Relations' lecturer said. The kids nowadays are so influenced by Malaysians. They’re ‘Malaysianized’.

John: Yeah, they waste their money and time at tanning saloons and beaches to get their fake tan. Color their hair black, putting on dark contact lenses. Geez, what’s wrong with these young people?

Jessica: I don’t know. People just don’t appreciate our own culture anymore. The country singer’s are losing their popularity. Like, who listens to Hannah Montana or Taylor Swift anymore? Even Lady Gaga's extreme attention seeking behavior didn't take our kids' eyes off Maya Karin

John: Yeah, kids these days. All they know is Zee Avi, Yuna, Nana, Mawi, Aizat. Oh, and have you heard that Colbie O’Donnis made a duet with Mizz Nina?

Jessica: Whaaat? Colbie O’Donnis with Mizz frickin' Nina? How the hell did they get him to sing with her?

John: I don’t know, they must have pulled some strings

Jessica: Oh geez

(Awkward silence)

Jessica: Think we should get moving. You know your cheap 'General Motors which went bankrupt' car can’t last for long in the snow

John: Yeah, let’s go. Dang, how I wish I have a Proton Inspira!

END

I know this is far from the reality, but come on man, let's love our country, yeah!

The Muslim Dilemma

2011-02-10T00:31:00.004+08:00

The upheavals in Arab countries can be traced down to an unequal society. There are the rich, the poor, and nothing in between. It is a sad fact that this scenario plagues many Muslim nations. It might be the factor that none of the Muslim countries being classified as a developed nation. Not UAE with its architectural splendour, or even Turkey with its proud secularism. The scenario is made worse when the rich use their power to put favour on their side, manipulating the system, lobbying others and executing competitions. Speaking in particular of the Arab countries, those who call themselves ‘in power’ are in fact delusional. It is no secret that most of the Arab leaders are put in the throne by the help of Western countries, therefore forever being indebted. If they are in fact in power, why do they seek help and protection from the West? Isn’t that a sign of weakness?

How did we come to this? Why are we so weak both politically and economically? Is it because in Islam, success in this world is not worthy of pursuit compared to the success in the afterlife? Does Islam teach its followers to settle with weakness in this world, to live in poverty, to be oppressed, looked down upon, killed and slaughtered, because the world is just transitory? If so, if Islam teaches us to completely focus on the afterlife and ignore worldly matters, why would Salahudin Al Ayubi dedicate his whole lifetime to conquer Jerusalem? Why would Sultan Ahmad Al-Fatih risk his life to conquer Constantinople? Why would Taariq bin Ziyad take the hardships of bowing Andalucían kings to their knees? If worldly success is not that important, why wouldn’t they stay in the comfort of their homes, and spend their time doing usrahs, waiting for people to come and join in instead of them going out into the world to inspire people to embrace Islam?

The nations in power today are not afraid to oppress and discriminate against Muslims because they know that we are weak. They know that we are incapable of defending ourselves and will always depend on them for economic stability. Hence, they can do what they will. Every Muslim know that there will be a day where Islam will rise again, but how do we expect the forthcoming of that glorious age, when we let ourselves ignore success in this world and be content with weakness? Many believe that the rise of Islam in the future will be attributed by swords, shields and courage of steel. I beg to differ. I believe that the rise of Islam will not be through military might. In fact, it has never been. I won’t deny that Islam has great military strength throughout its glorious days, but it doesn’t mean that Islam won the world by the tip of the sword. In fact, the Quran states that it is forbidden to make others to embrace Islam by force. Islam was spread by the message of truth, peace and love. People in the past embraced Islam willingly because for the first time in their lives, they see justice and equal treatments towards all layers of society. Whether you are a slave or an aristocrat, you get the same protection, the same treatment and the same opportunity to achieve success. Our weakness today can easily be traced down to these rhetoric questions: where is the justice today? Where is the equal treatments to all layers of society?

It is surprising that when talking about the glorious days of Islam, many of us focus on military rather than economic domination. Military force could not last for centuries, but a sustained economy and stable society could. During the time of Caliph Umar Abdul Aziz, the economy was so stable that they achieved 0% poverty rate. The government at one time had no idea on whom to give zakat aid to. This impressive economy feat leads to a stable society, witnessed by decrease in crime rates, social ills and corruption to the level of non-existence. Logically, why would you rob or accept bribe from others when you truly have enough for yourself? Sadly, today many hold on stringently to the belief that money corrupts. They dismiss the fact that poverty corrupts society just as well. We resist the pursuit of financial wealth, believing that wealth corrupts moral and distracts us from religion. Humans have the gift to choose. With or without money, if a person chooses to corrupt himself, become corrupt he will. The thing is that with money, it gives you the opportunity to help the poor. Without money, it gives you the burden of helping yourself.

It is high time we restore the image of Islam. It is time to practice what we preach in sermons, usrahs and religious talks. Until when do we da’wah among ourselves in closed vicinities and expect the world outside to change? Many give talks about social ills ruining the Muslim society, but few ever went down the stage to tackle the root of the problem: poverty and socio-economic inequality. Not many are brave enough to pursue economic dominance, believing ‘duit tak bawak mati’ and just let fellow Muslims ‘mati’ by economic oppression. Many still choose courses on ‘Cara-cara bercinta menurut Islam’ and ‘Mendirikan mahligai rumah tangga’ over courses on international relations, socioeconomics and modern science that could truly advance the Muslim society. Many are inspired by the courage of Salahudin Al-Ayubi, but yet few are courageous enough just to stand up and speak. Many are furious when the non-Muslims label Islam as terrorists but few ever took the time to get involved with the public to show them what Islam is all about. Isn’t education by example the best way to inspire others to embrace Islam? Everything in life is about balance, Islam never separates between the world and afterlife success. It is time to compete and become winners in all aspect of the world. Let us get involved in international issue, acquire knowledge that could advance the Muslim society and pursue success. Isn't the azan we hear 5 times a day has the phrase 'Let us achieve success?'. Here’s hoping that our generation is the one that contributes to the beginning of the rise of Islam. InsyaAllah

I Love Airports!

2011-02-01T16:34:00.004+08:00

I love airports. My parents would kill me if they knew this back when I was studying in MARA College Seremban, but I used to take a trip to KLIA in the evening and spend a whole night there just sitting at a cafe with a good book to read. It was such an amazing experience. Airports never sleeps. The cafes are always open, and I can just sit there till morning overlooking the huge windows and watch planes land and take off. Sometimes I just watch and observe people coming out from the arrivals gate and play a guessing game of where they come from. Back then, I was so determined to travel around the world. So watching planes gave me that strong motivation.

The kind of airport café I love

Today, my dreams of traveling around the world is partly fulfilled. Everywhere I travel, I always take time to sit at cafes in airports and reminisce the days when I spend the whole night at airports. I still spend nights at the airports these days. I had one of the best airport stay in Singapore's Changi airport where me and my friends stayed the night waiting for our flight to Boston the next morning. We were given VIP lounge tickets. The lounge was absolutely amazing! There's unlimited supply of food (not mentioning the unlimited supply of coffee). There's a gym, shower and sauna. Coolest night in airport ever!

I also like Narita's airport in Japan because it's cute. I don't know how to describe it, but the hallways had low ceilings as if accommodated for cute asians only. Haha. I spend the whole time at Narita listening to 'Lovers in Japan' by Coldplay.

Then there's Detroit's long long airport I spent an evening waiting for my friends being 'interrogated' by US homeland security. The airport's cool because it had a train that transverses its whole length. I took the train back and forth just for fun, or because I got too bored waiting for my friends.

I also like Jakarta airport where me and my friends talk all night at Bengawan Solo coffeehouse till morning come, and we took our flights back home.

There's nothing much interesting about the airport in Madrid, but sleeping near the counter ticket for one night was quite memorable.

Then there's Stanstedt airport in London where my friend spill a full cup of coffee on the cafe table. Hong Kong's airport was so memorable because I bought a book about the rise of China's economy there to read at a cafe while waiting for my flight. Little I know that the book will take me back to Hong Kong 2 years later (June this year) because an interviewer for a Hong Kong conference was impressed that I, as a medical student read such book, and hence I was chosen to go.

It's weird how the places outside the airport are much more interesting, like the Eiffel tower, the Alhambra, the New York Times Square, but it is the airports experience that are most memorable to me. Weird, but airports changed my life

My Mom's Younger Days

2011-01-08T00:06:00.010+08:00

It was a Friday night. The citizens of Kuala Lumpur treasure this time of the week for it is where they come back to life, take some loads off their mind, have fun and just relax. On the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur, in a place called Gombak, my sisters and I were up in a room on the second floor of my house. Being nerds, my sisters were studying despite the next day being a holiday.

''I have 72 students in my class, so I have to find a way to stand out!'' she said. Typical of a nerd, or an attention seeker.

I sit in front of the computer, browsing for new guitar chords to play. Then my mom came up and sat on the sofa, exhausted from entertaining her friend’s visit. After minutes of browsing and still having no idea on what to play, I decided to play songs I already knew. Old songs. No, really old songs, 60’s and 70’s old. Songs from that era were always my choice when winding down. So I started playing ‘Take Me Home Country Roads’ by John Denver. Suddenly, my mom started being my backup singer without me hiring. Surprised that she remembers the lyrics well, I turned to other songs just to test her memory. Jambalaya by Hank Williams, she remembers. Yesterday by the Beatle’s, she’s an expert. Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton, it’s as if she’s saying ‘Owh come on, that’s all you got?’ I continued with the The Bangle’s Eternal Flame, Carpenter’s We’ve Just Begun, Simon and Garfunkel’s Sound of Silence. She remembered the lyrics of all those songs!

She told me the songs took her back to her younger days back in the 60's and 70's where she and her friends would go camping, gather around a fire, someone plays the guitar and they start singing together. I can imagine such wonderful days. I’ve always wondered, because they don’t have CDs or cassettes back in those days, do they actually wait for their favourite songs to come out on the radio? Mom said ‘yeah, most of the time’ but told me grandpa got a gramophone, the one that played black discs, so she can buy the records. She then asked me and my sisters if we know how to ‘twist’. We told her we had no idea what she’s talking about. Then despite being tired and exhausted, as if her young soul had taken over her again, she stood up and did a twist. It was something like this:

So then we know what a twist is. She said she and grandpa used to do twists together. Back in those days, the girls wear beautiful polka dot dresses and men wear pipe- bottom pants to twist and dance. People in the army were the 'hot' guys back then. But they're always away. So the girls would have to wait for months for their lovers to come back home. In the meantime, they would exchange letters, and wait anxiously for the postman to come. Later in the 70’s come the age of 'flower power'. During that age mom likes to wear hippy clothes and wear a large necklace, the ones like the huge 'peace sign' you see in movies. She even wore my grandfather's shirt coz it's baggy. Flower power. Cool, huh? We asked if she sings the songs along with dad back in those days. She said no, because ayah ‘budak kampung. So all he knows in Amy Search and Black Dog Bone. Haha

I can imagine being in such an age. When I look at the lyrics of songs back in the 70s and 80’s, they’re all about, peace, love, nature, happy lives. Pleasant songs, in short. I tried to compare with the songs we have today. Okay, some are still pleasant, but most of them are downright nonsense. Lady gaga’s full of nonsense. Eminem’s full of hatred, Katy Perry’s full of 18SX. Okay, I do listen to those songs, the beats are fun, but when winding down, relaxing, having a perfect cup of coffee, reflecting on life...nothing beats the 60s and 70s retro hits

I was playing Sound of Silence, looking at the chords on the monitor. Then I realize mom wasn’t singing along anymore. I turned to look at her, she already fell asleep, smiling. I can guess, her dreams took her back into her polka dots in the 60s..good night mom, have a nice dream! =)

The Last Call

2011-01-06T11:50:00.008+08:00

“You, medical student, come here!’’

I was in the wards, as usual exhibiting non-purposeful movements in, out, and around the wards when suddenly that deep voice came from behind. I turned around. The voice belongs to a specialist consultant. ‘Oh shit’, I thought. ‘He either wants to scold me for lying around the wards without purpose or wants me to run somewhere and fetch him some blood’. I came towards him anyway

“You, undergraduate student right? Come here and auscultate (listen to) the patient’s lung. Tell me what you find!’’

Dang, breath sounds. I wasn’t prepared for this, but hoped to get it right this time. The curtain around the patient’s bed was closed. Without hesitation, I went in. Inside, there were nurses around the bed, must be 4 to 5 of them, because I remembered I felt like drowning in there. Judging by the looks, the patient must be in a critical condition. I took out a navy blue stethoscope from my white coat, wrapped one end around my neck, and adjusted the round shaped object we call ‘diaphragm’ at the other end. I put the cheap plastic piece on my ear, the diaphragm on the patient’s chest, and started listening.

Perhaps there was too much noise. The nurses around me were talking loudly to each other. What are they doing here anyway? I got irritated. I couldn’t hear a thing with them in here! I pressed the earpiece harder towards my ear. I listened again. Still, there’s nothing. I rechecked the diaphragm, twisting the cord clock and counter-clock wise again. There’s nothing wrong with it. By that time the nurses had stopped talking and started giggling. I decided to get some hints and ask one of the nurses.

“Uh, nurse, what does this patient have’’ I asked

“What does he have? Hmm…well, I’m not really sure’’. She had a sinister smile, then the other nurses giggled harder.

I was in an awkward situation. Then, the curtains open abruptly. It was the consultant.

“Hear anything?” he said

I had read the patient’s note before. It said that the patient has ‘bibasal crepitations’, crackling breath sounds you hear in your stethoscope when auscultating patients with certain lung disease. I had an impulse to say it, but I decided to be honest, and glad I did:

“I couldn’t really appreciate the sounds, doctor’’. He had a similar sinister smile as the nurse before.

‘’Do you know what’s a last call?’’

‘’Last call?’’ I asked

‘’Yes, last call, you know how to do it?’’

Then it came into my mind. Last call. I heard of it in TV series. That was when everything fell into place. The noisy nurses, the inaudible breath sounds, the eerily silent chest, the closed curtain. How couldn’t I realize earlier, that there was a resuscitation cart next to the bed? How couldn’t I notice the chest wasn’t moving? Or there’s not a heart sound along with the breath sound? No wonder the nurses were all over. Perhaps I was too nervous by the specialist suddenly asking me to examine the patient, or perhaps his instructions to ‘hear the patient’s lung’ confused me, or the nurses overwhelmed me. Of course I couldn’t hear the breath sounds...

I was auscultating a dead patient!

Having understood the specialist was playing tricks on me to make me learn a valuable lesson, I confirmed the patient’s unresponsive pupil with my pen-torch, confirmed the pulseless carotid on the neck, confirmed the inaudible breath had heart sounds, and made the last call. It sounds something like this:

‘This patient, Mr Y, announced dead at 3.45 PM, 23rd of December, 2010”

I learned a great lesson that day. Do you know that in the midst of the stormy disaster, the most tranquil place to be is in the eye of the hurricane? That's where I want to be in the midst of a disaster. To remain calm, controlled, careful, focused and observant, even when the world is in a storm.

Belief

2010-09-11T11:21:00.009+08:00

"Belief is a state of mind in which trust or confidence is placed
in some person or thing"

I’ve always wondered, do we really live in the physical world we call reality, or do we live in a world we create ourselves, right inside our craniums? If we really live in the physical world, why don’t our actions reflect reality? I have observed that most of the actions we do are based on what we believe. Seeing is believing, but we rarely disbelieve things that we don’t see. Do you not believe in air?

A child, when told there’s a monster in the cupboard will start believing in it. All the child’s action will be based on that belief, no matter how mommy tells the child that monsters doesn’t exist. The child becomes scared, anxious and will have trouble sleeping. It is as if once the belief has been implanted inside the mind, it intensifies and sticks, almost impossible to eradicate. The reality is that there is no monster inside the cupboard, but the child’s action is not based on reality. It is based on what he believes. Only when one day the child has grown up to realize that monsters don’t exist, and stop believing that there are monsters in the cupboard. I call this ‘the awakening’. The awakening is a sudden moment when your belief shifts. It could be a change into a belief that reflects more of reality, but it could also be the opposite.

Let’s take it to a more grown-up context. What if there is someone you hated somebody so much you wanted to kill him. Then somebody told you, you don’t have to kill him, he’s already been diagnosed with a terminal cancer. Then he goes on to tell you that he was acting so annoying lately because of his cancer, he was distressed. Then you’re attitude towards the guy you hated changes. You believe you understand his sufferings. Your actions will be based on that belief. You will start treating him better, and probably forgive him for whatever annoying things he had done. But what if what your friend told you was a lie? The guy’s perfectly healthy, but in your mind he’s not. Without knowing the reality, your actions are based solely on what you believe. You treat him as if he’s dying. But isn’t it better and less stressful to feel compassion towards the guy anyway? Him having the disease or not?

Our brain is a goal-seeking organ. Once it believes in something, when a belief is deeply seated inside the mind, it will move our muscles, makes us tick, and we go towards the things that we seek. Things that we believe in. If we believe that we can, we can. People whose belief is firm and strong, when the world contradicts their belief, they seek not to change their belief. They seek to change the world

Suppressing Depressing Thoughts

2010-05-08T21:17:00.011+08:00

Have you ever heard the phrase: "Jangan benci Cikgu, nanti susah nak masuk ilmu ape yang dia ajar, fail exam nanti!". Here's a scientific look:

As I mentioned in one of my post, memories are stored in chain. When we learn, we can't take in only the knowledge into our memories, but also other things associated when we study the knowledge, for example, who was teaching it, the place where you study it, the book you read it in, or even the color of the writing (that's why colorful notes work better for remembering). We store a whole chain of memories instead of just the memory of the knowledge. The same is with recalling what we've learned. When we recall what we've learn, a chain of memories are brought up into consciousness. If the first time you heard about 'Napolean Bonaparte' was when teacher A taught you, recalling facts about Napolean will automatically bring up the image of teacher A who taught you about it.

Now, here's a brain fact:

"Our brains tend to repress the memories that we find depressing"

We can see this in people who survived from post-traumatic disorder. People suffer post-traumatic disorder after going through traumatic, or painful and depressing experience. Throughout the phase of the disorder, the patient is continually in a state of depression because he or she can still remember the traumatic experience. When doctors asked about the traumatic experience, the patient can recall the event in vivid details. But our brain has a defense mechanism to overcome this depression: by attempting to forget or repress the bad memories forever. After the patient is free from the disorder, we can ask the patient to recall back the memories of the traumatic experience. Surprisingly, the patient will forget most of the experience, the details become blurry, and sometimes, the patient don't remember at all! The brain was successful in repressing the bad memories.

The details of the events was forgotten because it was chained to the memory of the traumatic event, and our brains tend to repress the memories that are depressing. So, the event, along with all the details was somewhat 'erased' from our minds. The brain hasto do this in order for us to survive. If we voluntarily keep on replaying the bad memories, our brain will fail to impliment this defense mechanism, something wrong will happen to our brains. This can lead to schizophrenia, or in common words insanity or craziness. People who chose not to forget or let go off their traumatic memories are the ones most likely to become crazy or insane.

In learning, it is hard for us to recall what we've learned when the memory of the knowledge is chained to something that we hate or find depressing. This is especially true when we hate the person that is teaching us the knowledge, or even if we hate the environment we're studying in. Firstly, when we hate the teacher, we would most probably choose not to bother what he or she says. So one thing is that less memory is stored. Secondly, even if we do listen and try to remember what the teacher says, the memory of the knowledge is chained with the memory of the teacher. Remember that we recall in chains, so we can't recall what the teacher says without recalling the memory of the teacher. Since our brains will try to repress things that we hate or find depressing, the knowledge, along with the memory of the 'hated' teacher, will be repressed and forgotten.Same goes to the environment we study in. If we find the place or school we study in is depressing, it takes a lot more effort for us to take in and recall what we've learned. Everything is chained, so if we hate one part, the brain will try to repress the whole chain of memories, including our much needed knowledge

On Intelligence

2010-05-06T17:58:00.007+08:00

A quick update on what I've learned recently. Lately I've been doing much reading, which left little time for writing, but don't worry, its not like I'm going to stop writing. Isn't writing with more knowledge better?

I read in the book 'On Intelligence' by Jeff Hawkins about, well, as the title suggests: Intelligence. It states that intelligence can be defined by a simple equation:

Intelligence = Memory <-> Prediction

I'm going to elaborate a little on this. Memory is everything we store in our brains. It could be our own experience, what we've heard or seen, or what we've read. Prediction is the ability to guess accurately what will happen next. In the equation above, intelligence is the interrelatednesss of memory and prediction. We predict things based on our past memories, based on what we've experienced before. Like a medical student can predict that this patient has this disease because he read somewhere in the textbook that the symptoms of this disease fits the patient. In mathematics we learn by steps until we can solve a mathematical question. The first thing we do is memorize the steps. We repeat and memorize the steps until one point where we don't have to memorize anymore and start predicting. "Oh, I've seen this equation before, and I know how I can solve this". You start predicting and automatically know what to do next and get to the answer.We predict at every, and even in the simplest levels, and its all based on memories. An example of everyday life is predicting your friend's voice. Your brain does this predicting unconsciously so you don't realize its happening. Even before your friend starts saying anything, your brain predicts how his voice will sound like, and when he starts to speak, your brain will acknowledge the prediction. Let's say if suddenly your friend starts to talk, and what comes out is not his voice but your Uncle's voice. Now wouldn't that be weird? Your brain feels that its prediction is violated, it will become confused, and you will start paying attention to the difference.

So basically, the more you read, the more you experience, the more memory you have. Predictions are based on past memories, hence the more memories, the more predictions you can make. Now that would make you more intelligent right? Not necessarily. Reading a lot stores a lot of memories, but without the ability to predict, the memories are for nothing. Prediction is based on past memories, but not just one or two memories. Prediction is based on the combinations of memories, because nothing in this world is exactly the same as you read it in a book, or exactly the same as your past experience. The most intelligent people in the world are not the ones who remember the most, but the ones who can relate from one memory to another, and make predictions from it. In business, the market is never stable. An intelligent businessmen won't make an investment based on what happened to the market yesterday. He makes prediction of the market tomorrow, based on the market yesterday, the day before, weeks, month, even years before. He predicts a pattern, does an analysis, and invests according to the pattern.

A good doctor is not a doctor who sit in his room all day reading textbooks. A good doctor is a doctor who routinely meet different patients with the disease, note the similarities and differences between them, detects a pattern, and predicts whether the next patient has the same disease. He predicts the course of the disease, and expects what manegement to be given next if this happens, what management to give if that happens. These predictions can't be found in textbooks. The occurences of disease is different in each and every area. A disease might be common in one place but not another. So a doctor bases his predictions not only by the textbooks he reads, but also from the area and environment of the place he works in.

Do you know the mere difference between reptiles, mammals and humans? Reptiles and other non-mammals don't have a neocortex, the layer of the brain where memories are scattered and stored. So they can't remember, so, intelligence is out of the way. Mammals have neocortex, but covers a relatively smaller area than humans brains. So, they can store memories. However, their neocortex is only 3 layers, in comparisons to humans which have 6 layers of neocortex. This difference, it shows, prevents the ability of mammals to predict. Humans, having 6 layers of neocortex, is blessed with the ability to predict.

That makes us different from animals. Non-mammals don't have memories, you can teach an iguana to use a hammer for a million years and it won't even recognize that you've been its teacher for a million years. Mammals like monkeys have memories. When taught to hammer nails again and again, they will soon learn to hammer nails, but they can't predict. So all they know is that hammer is used to hammer nails. Humans are blessed with the ability to predict. We've seen and known that hammers are used to hammer nails, but we also know that it can be used for other stuffs. Like breaking open things

So basically, without memories, we are iguanas, without the ability to predict we are monkeys, and with both the ability to remember and predict, we are intelligent human beings.

Conclusively, to be intelligent, we need to gain a lot of memories, and smart to associate them into predictions. As the equation goes:

Intelligence = Memory <-> Prediction

So go read and experience a lot of things in the world, but always intelligently associate what you've learned with one thing or another. Prediction, after all is the key to success in life. Successful businessmen predicts the market, successful architects predicts the future buildings, successful fashion designer predicts the future fashion trend, successful engineers predicts the future technology...the lists goes on and on...

My Indonesian Friends

2010-04-29T23:46:00.002+08:00

My Indonesian Friends

Just came back from a small farewell dinner with my Indonesian friend, Aji and Lydia. Through our conversations, we were taken back to our HNMUN days, how we missed it, and realized it has been over a year since. Most surprising is that the things we remember the most were the challenges that we faced throughout our journey. Like the suspense when I was left behind on the first flight, our troubles when we got separated and lost after visiting Liberty Island, how me and one of my friend, Hanif got stuck with the subway ticket. Me and Hanif (again) lost our money at New York. I lost it at the ATM , he lost it at the hotel room. How we me and Aji gambled through Washington looking for the hospital he was born in. Me gambling through Boston looking for the place I used to grow up in. How we walked a long way through Chinatown looking for a bus to Washington. There was much we went through; even this blog wouldn’t be enough to fit everything in.

One of the most memorable moments is when we got lost in New York and ran late for a dinner with the Indonesian Ambassador at the consulate. We were from Liberty Island and lined up for the ferry. There were about 15 of us, and we got separated when there’s only 5 space left inside the ferry and the rest of us were left behind. So we had to wait for another ferry which we waited for another 45 minutes! We went easy at first, but then realized we were already late for the dinner! Our Faculty advisors had already arrived at the Consulate and were furious that we are late.

We were already late, and once we got onto the mainland, no taxi were to be found! We walked and walked to find one, but to no avail. So we decided to take the subway. This is when me and Hanif got stuck. Remember the cool American subway in New York you see in movies. Those are not real New York Subways. Those are Hollywood subways. The New York subway we went through was ancient. It’s so old that me and Hanif got stuck at the gate. Our ticket was sucked in, but we cannot pass through. So we went to buy a new ticket, but the machine was busted! It’s bank note slot was busted, so we had to use coins, which we didn’t have, so we had to beg people to for a change of coins with our bank notes. So we passed, got onto the subway, on our way to the consulate. We ran all the way to 58th street from the subway, where the Consulate was supposed to be, but when we arrived there, no Indonesian consulate can be seen. We asked around, and nobody knew anything about an Indonesian consulate. We were puzzled and checked the message our Faculty Advisors sent to one of my friends again. It reads 68th street. 68th? we were on the 58th, that’s 10 blocks away! We were so in a rush, that we misread it! We were lucky that there were many taxi on the 58th, so we took it straight to the consulate.

When we arrived, we can see our faculty advisor’s face all red. We’re an hour late! He’s furious. But we were in the consulate, and there were VIPs, people from other Universities, and all, so we decided to play cool. But it was very awkward because everybody else was wearing blazers, batik and tuxedoes, and we were in our jackets and jeans! We were supposed to change first but because we were running late, we decided to just go straight to the event. But the best thing I remembered is that we all played it cool, and introduced ourselves to the embassy people. They were delighted we finally made it.

At the end of the dinner, there was a band playing. They play classic Frank Sinatra kinda songs. Then, they asked if any of us wanted to sing. Me and Aji has the same passion for classic songs, and one of our favorite is Frank Sinatra’s ‘Fly Me to The Moon’. We were tensed before, running all over New York, and we knew later we’d have a scolding session by our Faculty Advisor. So, why not gamble singing a song in front of everybody?

And so we did, we asked them to play ‘Fly Me to The Moon’, and we both sang together. To our surprise, the head of Indonesian consulate stood up, took his wife’s hand, and started dancing! Then, the other’s followed. Before I know it, everybody was up and dancing. It was one of the joyous night of my life! Not just that I’m not used to sing in public, but now I’m singing in an Indonesian Consulate with a whole lot of people. On our way back to our hostel, I sang Frank Sinatra’s ‘New York, New York’ all the way. Fitting isn’t it? Singing ‘New York, New York’ in New York, passing through the city lights, the glittery Times Square which never sleeps. The city that never sleeps as they say. It was beautiful indeed. Then, when we arrived, as we expected, we had a ‘scolding session’ with our faculty advisors. But we settled it okay, and were like best friends again the next day. I will always remember that night in New York

Friendships are built through the hardships we went together. Once a friendship is born, it knows no boundaries. I don’t care whatever tensions that happened or will happen between the Malaysian and Indonesian governments, I love my Indonesian friends. We went through a lot together. When I am with them, never once I felt as an outsider. Even as the only Malaysian in the team. Being together for a year, practicing every Saturday, at cozy café’s that I love, and finally getting to the US, and safely back again. It was the best moments I had here in Indonesia.

I couldn’t believe I will be leaving very soon. 3 years has gone by, and I will be leaving my Indonesian friends for good. Who knows when we’ll meet again. Whenever that will be, I’m sure all of them will be successful people in the future. Perhaps we’ll meet again in the US, me attending an international conference, and they were there too. Only, that time we’ll be real the delegates, representing our country for real. Who knows?

Our Brains Are Made of Plastic?

2010-04-24T11:48:00.003+08:00

Perhaps the greatest discovery of the last decade is that our brains are plastic. Neurologists call it ‘the phenomenon of brain plasticity’. Yes, our brains are made of plastic! Okay, of course not, but brain plasticity is the ability of our brains to change in response to learning and acquiring new skills and experience. So our brains are not actually a complicated super computer, but a complicated…brain! There’s nothing in the world closer to it. Unlike computer hardware which does what it does, stores memory and stuff, when a task given is overwhelming or over its maximum hardware capacity, we need to get a new hardware, or a new computer. Our brains, on the other hand, responds to the overwhelming challenge and grows accordingly.

Did you know that the brain of life-time video gamers is 13% larger than the average population?

Yes! They are larger, but…they are EMPTY. Okay, not good example. That was supposed to make you laugh. Anyway, here’s another:

Did you know that the brains of London Taxi drivers are 15% larger than London Bus drivers?

Yes, they are larger, especially at the brain area called the ‘hippocampus' where the awareness of space is processed. Scientists believe this is so because they spend much more time each day thinking of the best route to go by, compared to the bus drivers who follow a set of routine routes every day. This process of thinking and memorizing routes and places causes the brain to grow.

It has long been known that Einstein’s brain is larger than most of us, but the greatest mistake scientists of the past made is to postulate that he was born with it. Only recently, with the discovery of neuroplasticity, we know Einstein grew his brain throughout his lifetime of study and experience.

This ability of the brain to grow is remarkable, especially in the field of education and medicine. In medicine, it gives hope to those who acquired disabilities after a stroke attack. Stroke, which causes the death of a patch of brain cells, can cause paralysis of a part of the body. It has long been thought that it is permanent. But in a new rehabilitation technique, the patient's normally functioning limb is tied up (so it can’t be used). After awhile, the patient slowly gains control over the other limb which once thought to be permanently paralyzed. This hasn’t been discovered until recently because of the prior doctrine that brain cells can’t grow and most patients give up even before trying because:

They become comfortable with their existing functioning limb
It takes a LOT of effort to move the bad limb
It takes a LONG time before we can see improvements

Perhaps the most amazing case is with the child patient known as ‘Jodi’ who underwent a ‘hemispherectomy’ at The John Hopkins Hospital in the US as a last-resort treatment for her seizure. HALF of her brain was removed. Common logic is that she would lose HALF of her brain function, paralyzed at one side, and is unable to speak. The neurosurgeon that did the operation, Dr. Benjamin Carson, also had thought of it and warned the parents of the complications. However, an amazing thing happened. She begins to speak again after a few days, and began walking after a few weeks…with half of her brain! Today, she scores straight A’s in her exams and living a relatively normal life. On brain scans, it was found out that all the functions on the part of her brain that has been removed is now transferred to the existing part of the brain, and that part of the brain grows. Isn’t that amazing? If a child with half of her brain can grow and learn normally, how about us with fully functioning brains?

Taking paralysis and the ‘bad limb’ as a metaphor, here’s what preventing us from growing our brains:

We become comfortable with our existing knowledge and experience
It takes a lot of effort to gain new knowledge
It takes a long time to see improvements

Here’s something I found on a lecture about neuroplasticity by Dr Mark Barnes & Janae Adamson. These are the optimum environment for our brain to grow when learning:

Attention / Focus – You know you’re focusing on your studies when you lose track of time, or when you don’t checkout Facebook notifications every 30 seconds
Intensity – Learning which involve intense emotions are most effective. Like studying the subject you feel deeply about, for example studying heart failures because a loved one suffers from it creates an intense emotion.
Timing – It takes a night’s sleep to properly organize what we have learnt. The most important ones are stored in long-term memories during this time
Constraint – Like regaining control of a bad limb, we learn more effectively when going the hard way, like without using aide such as calculators, checking the answers at the back every 10 seconds. We need to struggle to grow our brains
Visualization – Our unconscious brain can’t really distinguish between a memory of real experience and a vividly imagined situation. So if we visualize a skill (especially clinical skills, OSCE, for medical students), we would actually activate the part of the brain involved in actually doing the real thing
Imitation – Watching a person do something activates the observer’s part of the brain involved in doing the same thing. That’s why children dance along when they see adults dancing. As we grow up, our conscious functions in the frontal area of the brain inhibits this

How Our Brain Cells Determine Our Talents

2010-04-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

What’s the difference between the brain of the talented and the less?
Why do the world’s top athletes or musicians start young?
What’s the formula of being a Nobel-prize genius?

In one of my articles, ‘The Scientific Difference between Liking & Wanting’, I have mentioned about brain circuits. In this article, I would expand on them. Specifically, how it determines our talent, and how can we use it to improve our skills. Brain circuits consists of a few ‘wires’ we call neurons, which transmits signals from our senses to our brain. From there, the brain processes the information, decides a response and ‘wires’ back the information through another set of circuits to appropriate parts of the body. Like when you are eating hot dogs when you are supposed to be on a diet, and then your friend suddenly comes up to you and say “Hey, why are you eating? Aren’t you on a diet?” The words made its way from your ears to your brain, processes it, decides a response, and sends back signals to your hand, mouth and tongue muscles, throwing away the hot dog and say “Oh no, no, I was just looking through that hot dog. I think it’s really hot…uh…the dog…anyway, why are you here?” Your brain tries to change the topic of hot dog to distract your friend. That’s our brain, it’s smart.

A neuron is like a wire cut off at both ends where at each end will be the shrub of shiny coppers sprouting out from the plastic insulator at the middle. In neurons, these ends are called dendrites on one end, and synaptic knobs on the other. In between those is the long part of the wire we call axon. Most neuron don’t have axons long enough to make it all the way to the brain. So the synaptic knobs connect to the dendrites of another neuron by small divisions called synapse (like soldering ends of wires to make it longer) until it reaches the brain. For the sake of simplicity, I will refer a neuron as a ‘wire’, and synapses as ‘wire connector’.

Unlike fishes or worms, most of our wires can’t be grown again after childhood. Logically, the more wires we have, the faster, the more accurate we respond, right? However, the good news is, we can always add more ‘wire connectors’. We don’t really have to grow new wires. These wires form basic function, like lifting your hand, or tilting your head (even a baby can do that). Scientists believe that even if we have the brain of a fish, we can still button our shirts! But that’s as long as we add wire connectors. Fishes don’t have much wire connectors like in humans, hence they don't wear shirts. Adding more wire connectors will strengthen the connection. In science we call this ‘synaptic plasticity’, the strengthening of synaptic connections. A strengthened connection allows you to respond faster, more accurate, and with less effort.

Now here is how wire connectors work:

The more we use the wire, the more wire connectors are built
The more wire connectors there are, the stronger the wire connections
The stronger the wire connections, the faster and more precise the connection signals
The faster and precise the connection signals, the less aware you are that you are using them

Remember, wires are just parts of a circuit. So when a circuit is used, not only one, but a few bunch of wires gets stronger. The last two points are the most profound. It holds the key to our talents, to being an Olympic athlete, a world-class musician, or a Nobel-prize winner. Now let’s go back to the questions:

What’s the difference between the brain of the talented and the less?
Why do the world’s top athletes or musicians start young?
What’s the formula of being a Nobel-prize genius?

To answer these questions we’ll need real-life proof. Let us start with Tiger Woods. Taking scandals aside, Tiger Woods is no doubt the world’s greatest golfer. However, he didn’t turn into a world champion overnight. He became a champion after decades of brain wire strengthening. There is no doubt that he started playing golf when he was very young, but how young? It was accounted that at the age of 5 months, Tiger started watching his dad play golf on a baby chair. By 9 months, his father made him a sawed-off golf club which he could handle. By 1 year old, he started going to golf courses. At 2, he already won Under Age 10 golfing competition. After the age of 11, he surpassed his father’s skill, and was never again beaten by his dad in golf. He won his first national junior tournament at the age of 13. I guess I do not need to keep on. You get the point from here. The question is not ‘what else did he won?’ but ‘what was happening inside his brain?’

Playing golf involve complex movements, requiring precise coordination between the mind and muscles. When I say complex movements, it means that it involves a lot of muscle-brain circuits. For example, the one controlling hand movements, the one maintaining the hip positions and the ones keeping the eyes on the ball. Everything needs to be precisely coordinated. However, as stated before, the more we use these wires, the more connections are built, the stronger, faster and more precise the connections, and hence, the less aware he is that he’s using it. Remember the first time you try to play the guitar, piano or learn dancing? It was a struggle wasn’t it? You need a lot of effort. You need to be so attentive to the movements of your hands, your fingers or your feet. But after hours and hours of practicing it feels less of an effort, until you reach a stage where you can play a song or dance and talk to your friend at the same time. That’s because the wire connectors inside your brain have become strong enough that you start doing the movements automatically. We call this 'automaticity'. Once you have reached automaticity, you don’t need to pay enormous amount of attention on what your muscles do. Hence, allowing you to play music or dance while paying attention to other things, like talking to your friend. That is exactly what happened to Tiger Woods.

Since 5 months old, Tiger has started strengthening his connections, at the age of 13, he already perfected his craft, with connections as solid as steel. By that time, the complex movements of hitting the golf ball ceases to be an enormous effort. It’s already automatic, and when that is combined with focused attention, he starts shooting like a machine. Tiger keeps on winning because he has an advantage over others: he has strong wire connectors since young, and all he has to do is keep on practicing to keep ahead of others. There are many other world-class athletes that start young. Roger Federer starts playing tennis at six. Lionel Messi started playing soccer at five. This is not limited to sports. Mozart started composing his first piece at 4. Jimi Hendrix started playing the guitar at 10. Each and everyone of them started stimulating their wires at a young age, and day by day strengthening them to perfection so that when they reach adulthood, they’re already the master of their art.

Now do not be disappointed when I said that most of them start young, thinking that it is too late for you. The essence of what I have explained earlier is not actually starting young, but spending a whole lot of time honing your craft more than anyone else. For example, before the rise of The Beatles, there were many other bands that started playing young. However, The Beatles went the extra mile by playing for 8 hours a day even before their first hit single, strengthening their ‘music wire connectors’ each and every minute they play. Soon, they surpassed the abilities other bands which mostly played 3 to 4 hours a day. Pablo Picasso once did a painting in 2 minutes and sold it worth millions of dollars. When asked how he created the masterpiece in just 2 seconds, he answered: “It took me 20 years of practice to do that painting in 2 seconds’. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and the founders of Sun Microsystems were given access computer at a time when computer access is limited to others, allowing them to strengthen their wire connections long before others. Today, they are the big players in the computer industry.

Hence, it is apparent in that world-class achievers either start young or spent countless hours on the things they’re focused to. ‘Focused’ means that they aim to be the master of one, instead of being the jack of all. Tiger Woods never changed his focus to tennis. Federer never tried to be a musician. Bill Gates never wanted to join the bands. They are all focused on the things they like and good at. They focused on it like crazy, strengthening their wire connectors related to their craft. As what Robin Sharma, the author of the bestselling book ‘The Monk Who Sold his Ferarri’ once wrote:

Daily improvement + focus = genius

It means find something that you like and focus on it, improving it each and every day. It doesn't have to be golf, tennis, or music. It could be literature, business, science or even Lego-building. You can become a genius in any field you want by applying the formula. So, what kind of genius you want to be in the future? Start practicing today. Nothing is too late. If you practice and improve every day, no matter how little, in 5 to 10 years from now, you will become a world-class achiever. When that day comes, I'd be happy to hear from you

Memory Recall & Prejudice

2010-04-13T14:30:00.008+08:00

How can an expert doctor deduce a diagnosis even from the moment a patient enters the room?
Do you know that when you judge someone you barely know, you are actually judging someone else you already knew before?

In my last post, I have explained that memory is better stored when we use multiple circuits together. Today, I will explain about memory retrieval. How do we recall the memory we have stored, and what it has to do with intuition, wild guess, and even prejudice. First, here’s an experimental view. For long, scientist has thought of a specific cell in the brain which stores memory. Like when you remember a news article you read yesterday, it is stored in a cell in your brain, so that when we remove that area by operation, you’d lose the memory. They later discovered that memory doesn’t work that way by this experiment:

In the 1920s, a scientist by the name of Karl Lashley believed that there is a certain area of the brain which stores memory. So, he tried to destroy different parts of the brain of rats. Beforehand, the rats were trained to go through a maze with a cheese at the end. In other words, the rats were able to remember the route to the end of the maze without ever encountering blind ends. After destroying the parts of the brain, and the rats going through the maze, his hypothesis were accepted, all rats forgot how to get to the end of the maze, encountering more blind ends.

However, something puzzled him. He destroyed DIFFERENT parts of the brain in every rats in search of this ‘memory cell’, but the problem is, EVERY rat, no matter where their parts of brain destroyed is, forgot their way to the end of the maze! In other words, no matter where they destroy the area, they still forget. So, where is this memory cell? This experiment failed to locate a specific area or cell for memory storage, but what it discovered is much more intriguing: There is no such thing as a specific cell or area for memory storage and memory is actually a link of different brain circuits scattered throughout the brain. Memory is everywhere inside our brains. When we recall a fact, we don’t activate a single ‘memory cell’ located somewhere in our brains, we activate many cells scattered throughout our brains. That’s why destroying any parts of the brain affects memory. It is not the memory cell is destroyed; it’s the brain circuit that is destroyed

Confused? Let me explain further. Lashley’s student, Donald Hebb expended his teacher’s experiments and came out with a few findings. Hebb proposed that memory is an interconnection of brain circuits, and the activation of one circuit activates another. He also deduced, from the experiment done by his teacher, memories are stored in different parts of the brain depending on the senses used. For example, what we see is stored in the visual cortex, a part of the brain. What we hear is stored in the auditory cortex, a different part of the brain. Let’s take an example. Let’s say you’re in a lecture and your teacher gave you an important fact you would later remember. During memory recall the next day, you cannot ‘extract’ only hearing what your teacher has said. It is ‘linked’ with seeing the teacher, so the image of the teacher will also come out in your mind. Unless you didn’t look at the teacher when she explains, now that’s rude, isn’t it?

As I have explained in my previous post, memory is stored better when we combine different circuits, like seeing and hearing circuits. So we remember better if we see and hear at the same time, rather than just hearing, because those memories are linked, and activation of one activates another, creating a stronger memory and recall. Another example is the perfume your mother always wears. When you smell that perfume again somewhere across the globe, the image of your mother would come out, won’t it? That’s because one circuit activates another, so when the memory from ‘smelling circuit’ is activated, it automatically activates the ‘seeing circuit’, hence the image of your mother. The amazing thing about this is that even the SMALLEST stimulus that activates the SMALLEST circuit will activate other LARGER circuits, like a domino effect, allowing you to reassemble the whole picture in your mind.

Now what does this has to do with the great doctor and the stranger? Let’s start with the doctor. This link of one circuit towards another is called ‘engrams’. The linking of circuits doesn’t only apply to ‘seeing’ and ‘hearing’. It also links between past memory circuits. As I said before, even the SMALLEST stimulus that activates the SMALLEST circuit will activate other LARGER circuits, like a domino effect, creating a large picture. An expert doctor is a doctor with years and years of training and experience. In his brains, memories circuits of different types of diseases he has seen are scattered throughout his brain. So, from the moment a patient enters his room, a single, even the smallest detail in the patient, could trigger a whole lot of memory. Like the drooping eyelid, the puffy face, the aching gait, the rapid breathing, anything! One symptom relates to another, so the doctor starts looking at the skin appearance, the color of the eyes, and so on, without even touching the patient. All this happens even without the doctor thinking. It just comes out like a torrent of water. That’s what I call thinking without thinking. So usually, the most expert of doctors already know the diagnosis beforehand. But of course, we need to be sure. We can’t confirm the diagnosis without properly examination of the patient. We’d get sued!

This linking of circuits can be very useful, but it’s like a double-bladed sword, where it has its disadvantages. Here comes the story of Big Bob:

Big Bob is a large, hulking figure. Like the one you see in wrestling shows. Everyday, Big Bob goes to work at a local factory by the same bus, with the same driver. This driver is the opposite of Bob. He’s small, skinny, frail, and a little bit judgmental. Everyday, the driver would pick up Big Bob, and every time he enters, he will say to the driver “BIG BOB DOESN’T PAY!”. The driver, small and skinny as he is, didn’t want trouble. He’s actually afraid of Big Bob, so he let him ride the bus for free. This went on for years, until one day, the driver had financial problems, and was so stressed that morning. Then, he picked up Big Bob, and, as usual, Big Bob will say: “BIG BOB DOESN’T PAY!” With the financial problem the driver was having, he couldn’t take it anymore and shouted to Big Bob: “Who do you think you are?! You think just because you’re big and all muscular, you’d get a ride for free?? Everyone pays, including you, BOB!” Confused why the driver got so angry at him, Big Bob says:

“Big Bob doesn’t pay because Big Bob got a monthly pass”, and showed the driver his pass, which he always wore on his belt.

So, the essence of this story is prejudice. Here’s how it is related to engrams. As I said before, a memory circuit will activate another. When we see a big, muscular man like Big Bob, we’d tend to remember the violent, bullying wrestlers we saw on TV. Big Bob ain’t a wrestler, but when we see one, the image of violence in the TV with someone big and muscular like Big Bob will appear. Because our memory circuits are interconnected automatically. We didn’t choose to be that way, but its biologically meant to be. Scientists even did an experiment where beforehand, the subjects, who were white people, were specifically told not to be judgmental or prejudice. They were shown many pictures of a white man and a black man for ONE SECOND, and push in a button labeled “GOOD” and “BAD” as fast as they could. These people were known not to be prejudice, they are highly educated scholars, and plus, specifically were told not to be prejudice. But when they started showing pictures of black people, they still, press the ‘BAD’ button most of the time, and this happens to everyone in the experiment. They only got one second to press the button, so they don’t really have the time to think. So when our conscious mind doesn’t work, the unconscious takes over, where memories of black people we see in Hollywood movies comes out, the articles about criminals by the black people. We consciously choose not to be prejudice, but our mind actually doesn’t. Our mind depends on our memories, which are interconnected to one another.

The same goes for judging someone you barely knew. Simply put, when you judge someone you don’t really know, you tend to link him or her to someone similar that you’ve already known before. Like a women who has relationship troubles with men in the past would associate other men with the one she knew before. It’s just like the case of Big Bob. That’s how first impressions lead us.

So, taking things back home, after reading all these crazy stuff I wrote, what do you think of me? Who do you link me to? Well, I’m sorry to say, you can’t judge me from my writings, cause you’ll soon realize that what you judge is really someone you already knew. When you meet me in person, you’ll see that I am a whole different person than you previously thought

How our memory works and how to remember better

2010-04-11T23:07:00.002+08:00

Why do we easily remember some facts but not another?
Why do we remember more what we did on last New Year’s Eve than what we do 3 days ago?
How do we improve our memory?

Most people with great memories aren’t really good ‘rememberers’, they are great ‘associators’. Have you’ve seen one of those colored pen advertisements saying that by using those colored pens to make notes, you’ll remember 70% more? It’s not really the color that makes you remember more, it’s the association between the words and the color. For example, let’s say in a biology note you wrote the word ‘chlorophyll’ in green. Your brain registers both the word and color together through different circuits which end at the same part of the brain. Firing through two circuits makes the signal stronger, which in the end, is stored in the brain better. Like making a dent on a piece of steel, hammering with both hands creates a deeper dent compared to using just one hand. So is using 2 of your brain circuits, like in this case the language circuit (for the word chlorophyll) and color recognition circuit (for the color green). The more circuits are fired, the deeper the memory is embedded in our brains.

Now that’s only the association of language (the words) and color. It doesn’t have to be only 2 circuits. The more circuits are fired together, the deeper the memory is embedded. There are unlimited other association, like associating the information with shape by drawing, with sound by reading out loud, or, most profoundly, is by associating it with emotion. Do you remember the details of the dullest day of your life? The days where you’re neither really happy nor sad, you just have nothing to do. All you do is stay on your bed or looking out the window watching the day pass by? Chances are you won’t. But if I ask you to remember the happiest or the saddest day of your life, I believe you can come up with more details. Like the people you talked to, the clothes that you wore, and the people you’ve encountered. Emotion plays an important role in memorization. It’s like the heaviest hammer there is. One strike creates a deep, deep dent. One emotion circuit firing makes a deeply embedded memory. We remember our happy days, and also the worst days of our lives because it is associated with our emotions. To take advantage of it, we can remember more when reading the things that interest and excite us. Remember that you remember all the storyline and how the character in the comic book you like ended up? But you can’t remember the storyline of that historical event you consider boring? That’s memory and emotion in action.

One way to make remembering fun is by eliciting emotional responses by imagination. For example, if you’re required to remember that the main exports of a certain country is coffee, sugarcane and bananas, imagine yourself drinking coffee added with sugar (processed from sugarcane) while eating bananas. That’s really weird and somewhat funny isn’t it? Who drinks coffee with bananas? But that, is what stimulates our emotional response, and makes us remember better. I know it takes time to think of those kinds of associations but the effects on memory are profound!

So, like it or not, to pass exam, you either have to like what you read, or keep on repeating them until it creates a deep ‘memory dent’ inside your brain. Oh, I haven’t explained to you about repetition? Repetition is reading again and again the information that you read. This is really a boring way to memorize, but it works. It’s like you repeatedly hammer a piece of steel, the more you hammer it, the deeper the dent is. Luckily, I do have a technique which is much more effective than just reading repeatedly, but takes a little more effort. Here’s how. The conventional way of note-writing is like this:

“The heart is a muscular organ found in all animals with a circulatory system (including all vertebrates), that is responsible for pumping blood throughout the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions”

Man, that’s dull, so here’s another way of writing:

“The heart is a ________ organ found in all animals with a ________ system (including all _________), that is responsible for pumping _____ throughout the blood vessels by repeated, ___________ contractions”

Isn’t this familiar? It’s like “fill in the blanks with the correct answer” in primary school! Anyway, first, you read the full text. Then you make a note like the above. Now, the most important part is you leave out the words that are critical to remember. Like ‘circulatory’ or 'rhythmic'. It doesn’t make sense to leave out the word ‘the’ or 'with' does it? This is not an English prepositions test! The trick is like this, on the next page, you fill in the answers to those blank spots

muscular
circulatory
vertebrates
blood
rhythmic

So, the next time you read the note, you try to remember what the correct word for the blank spots is. If you cannot remember, halt it, don’t turn to the next page! Take a guess! After you have taken guesses of all the answers, then you turn to the next page. If your answer is correct, you will stimulate your emotion of happiness. Yay! But, if you got it wrong, don’t worry. Because you took the guess instead of just looking at the answer, you in a way telling your brain that “Hey, you’re giving out the wrong facts here!”. The brain will register the error, and, as a result will make you remember the answer better. Better yet if you gave the wrong answer because you are confusing it with another fact. That mistake will clear up the confusion. As they say, we learn more from our mistakes.

So, by doing this kind of note-writing, you don’t have to make the mistakes in the exams. Make the mistakes now, in your room, so that when you enter the exam hall, you’ve already done enough mistakes to make you a perfect scorer! (You might ask why not just buy an exercise book, do the exercise and check your own answers instead of painstakingly writing those ‘fill in the blanks notes’. But if you’re asking this question you might be a primary or high-school student. In university, we don’t have many exercise books to test our knowledge. Lecturers like to write slides and slides of presentation and expect us to remember word by word. They don’t like to do exercise books. So this is one of the way)

On weight gain, weight loss and diet

2010-04-10T19:21:00.004+08:00

Why is it for those who are overweight, losing weight seems to be the hardest thing? Why is it for those who are underweight, gaining weight seems to be as hard? Why is it, after successfully losing or gaining a few kg of weight, after a few weeks, we’re back at our previous weight?

There are many factors for these, including genetics and environment. However, the strongest tendency factor lies in your childhood. Most people knows that excess energy are stored in our body as fat, but many are also are mislead by believing that fats are just stored under the skin, the more fat it is, the more it is distributed under the skin. This is not so, if so, we would not have our body shape, and most of us would look stupendously dull, if you know what I mean. However, most important of this fact is that it holds the answer to the questions above:

Why is it for those who are overweight, losing weight seems to be the hardest thing?
Why is it for those who are underweight, gaining weight seems to be as hard?

Fats are not merely deposited under the skin surface. Fats are stored inside containers we call ‘adipocytes cell’, which are distributed throughout our body in different density. It means that there are more adipocyte cells in your hips than your arms. These fat containers, once we grow up as adults, are almost never added, except in extreme, and I mean extreme weight gains. So, the more fat there is to be stored, the more these containers expand themselves. In our childhood, however, the case is different. When we were a child, when our mama feed us with all of those delicious foods, extra energy are still stored as fat in these containers. However, different than in adults, once these containers are full, they will divide into two, doubling the number of container. This occurs throughout childhood that when it comes to early adolescent, the number or fat containers determine how much fat can be stored in the body for life!

Hence, for those ‘generating’ many fat containers during childhood (children who are overweight) have the tendency to continue becoming obese in their adult life because there are many fat containers to store fat compared to those children who are not overweight. For children who are underweight, however, will have a hard time gaining weight because there’s not much of these fat containers when they reach adolescence. Hence, the only way to gain weight is to fill in these containers, and expand them, which is, logically, harder compared when you already have many fat containers and all you have to do is fill them in.

So, there it is, try to recall, what shape were you in when you were a child? It may be too late for us to change the number of fat containers in our body, but now that you know this, stop your uncles, aunties or anyone you know from overfeeding their child. Tell them it will affect them throughout their life. Get rid of the myth that 'a fat child is a healthy child'. Well, maybe for the time being, but what about when he or she grows up?

Now there arise another question on why is it, after successfully losing or gaining a few kg of weight, after a few weeks, we’re back at our previous weight? Here I’m going to introduce you to a messenger released from fat stored in the containers called ‘leptin hormone’. These messengers are continuously released from the fat containers and enter our blood, eventually arriving at the brain. Here, this messenger leptin will tell the brain to “eat less, eat less!”

Now what happens when we successfully lose a few kg? The less fat there are in the containers, the less leptin are produced, and hence there are fewer messengers to tell the brain to “eat less!” The brain, now that no one tells him to eat less, will, of course, eat more! We may not be conscious of this, because our brain works in mysterious, unconscious way. It may manifests as the snacks we unconsciously nibble while watching TV (we call this mindless eating), or the ‘little bit’ more portion of rice we scoop into our plates, thinking “Owh, I’ve lost a few weight, a little more rice now wouldn’t hurt”. This happens until we reach our previous weight, which is our ‘set point’. This set point is the weight that our body thinks is the ‘normal weight’ although it doesn't seem normal to you. It is set ever since we became adults. Haven’t you realize that your weight stays the same most of the time ever since you reach adulthood? (But mind you, you will, however slowly gain weight once you start aging. It’s because your metabolism decreases, but that’s another story)

The same goes for hard-gainers. Once they have successfully gain weight, the more fat there will be in the fat containers, and the more messenger leptin will be produced. Hence, telling the brain to “eat less!”, and the brain follow orders, and you, although unconsciously, obey to the leptin’s orders too.

Here I will come to a conclusion. You might be disappointed upon reading this post, hoping that I would provide ‘miracle’ scientific knowledge on how to lose or gain weight. I’m sorry to tell you that there is none. Naturally, at least. There are many drugs and procedures that can make you lose weight, but I am not going to recommend you any. There are far too much risk in those. So to get your perfect weight, you need to work for it! You need to consciously go against the unconscious orders to eat more. We can control our unconscious by constantly being aware of our actions. After successfully losing a few weight, there’s no ‘bonus’ that you’re allowed to eat more. Beware of those latent snacks by the TV. Most importantly, go exercise! Everyone understands that the formula for weight loss is ‘energy used is more than energy consumed’, but very few put that in practice. So, go jogging, cycling, swimming, play soccer, anything that uses much energy. It doesn’t has to be boring. Do what you like. If you like basketball, then, play basketball! ‘Nuff said.

For hard gainers, instead of depending on the fat to grow more, you can resort to grow muscles. Muscles are 2 times heavier than fat. Get the myth out of your head that ‘to grow muscles, you need to grow fat first. Because fat is the one that will transformed into muscles’. That’s completely misleading! Fat and muscles are completely different type of cells, and you don’t need one to grow another. ‘Nuff said. All you need is enough protein, which can be gained by our daily intake of meat, chicken or fish. So go ahead, try weight lifting. Some women out there might be thinking “No way I’m gonna lift weights and have to bulky bodies which looks like men”. They are mislead by the myth that if women lift weight, their body will become bulky like men. The fact is, no, women won’t be bulky like men unless you go for extreme weight lifting, like the ones they used in Olympics. In women, the amount of ‘testosterone hormone’, or the hormone that grows muscle, is much much less. Plus, the shape of a male and female’s muscle are slightly different, so you won’t end up like shaping like men (unless, as I said before, you go for the ‘ala Olympics weight lifting). However, don’t forget to put in other exercise such as jogging or cycling in your routine. It helps the heart to function better. Weight lifting does not help much for the heart.

So, there it is, weight loss, weight gain, and the science behind it. For all those struggling to achieve the perfect weight, keep up the good work and never give up! Hope that helps!

The Difference between Liking and Wanting

2010-04-09T21:59:00.004+08:00

Do you know that when you like someone, your brain doesn’t necessarily want him/her? Conversely, do you know that your brain can want something that you don’t even like?

Is there a difference between wanting and liking? Only within the last decade, scientists have found out that there is. Here’s a simple explanation. Everything from outside is perceived by our senses, the sight, smell, sound, and taste of it. From there, it goes on its way to the brain through a few circuits (we called it neuronal pathway), which once have reached the brain, will elicit our response, such as liking, wanting or hating. Neurologists have this device which can detect the active circuits (the circuits that are being used). For example, if you see a flower and you like it, the circuit from your senses into your brain will light up. Many people thought that liking and wanting are the same. It makes sense, doesn’t it? For example, you want a cheeseburger because you like it. You want to play basketball because you like it. For many years, scientists thought of it too, but a failed experiment revealed it’s wrong.

An experiment was done on rats and primates, in which the ‘want circuit’, the circuit which is activated when you want something, is cut off. Scientist believed that this will suppress their ‘wants’ towards food, so that the rats wouldn’t have an effect towards the presentation of food (in this experiment, a cheese). But what they discovered was surprising. The rats instead still move towards the food like a hungry animal, but once it came close to the cheese, the rat just stayed there and didn’t eat it! They tried moving the cheese, and still, the rat moves towards the cheese, but then just stayed there, not eating it. It totally puzzled the scientists. So they used the device to detect the brain circuits, and realized that although the ‘wants circuit’ is cut off, another circuit which ends at the same area of the brain lights up. Now this is the discovery of the ‘like circuit’. The scientists concluded that there are different circuits in the brain for ‘liking’ and ‘wanting’.

A rat that move towards a cheese, but does not eat it

This finding explains much of our unexplainable behavior. Like why do smokers still smoke though they know it’s bad. Why we’d really like to wake up early in the morning, but turned off the alarm and went back to sleep anyway. Why everybody wants to be successful, but only some really do something about it. Why drug addicts repeatedly inject themselves with morphine, although it is painful. Why is it that we can like someone, but we don’t necessarily want him or her. Why some severely battered wife still sticks with her abusing husband?

It’s all about the distinction between ‘liking’ and ‘wanting’. Ask the smokers, they might say that they don’t really like the act of smoking, but they want to smoke anyway. However, saying that wanting and liking signals goes through different pathways in the brain, it doesn’t mean that they fire off separately on different occasions. In fact, most of the time, they fire simultaneously. That’s why when we want to eat, we’d eat what we like. When we want to play, we’d play what we like to play. We must remember that those two pathways end up at the same part of the brain. Hence, when both pathways fire together, it creates a greater response! In the case of addiction, however, the substances in the drugs or cigarette alters the brain chemistry, so that the ‘want circuit’ is fired more.

So, taking this finding into daily lives, I’d that if you want something in your life, fire off both of your ‘like’ and ‘want’ circuits. If you want something, make sure you really like it, or it won’t work. Don’t become a doctor only because your family told you so. You must be willing to like it in order for you to want it. Or else, sure you’ll become a doctor, but most probably, an average one, unless on the way you find medicine very interesting and start liking it. Do the things that you like, and success will follow On the other hand, if you like something, don’t say that you’d like it. Say that you WANT it. Don’t say “I’d like to be a world-known architect’, say “I WANT to be a world-known architect”. If you like something, deeply want it. Do something. Fire off both of your ‘want’ and ‘like’ circuits! That, my friend, separates the daydreamers and the achievers. CheerioS!

Sources:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/03/070302115232.htm
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090908151334.htm
Research paper:
http://sitemaker.umich.edu/terryrobinson/files/TINS_03.pdf

Overcoming Fear

2010-04-07T20:03:00.009+08:00

“We come this way but once. We can either tiptoe through life and hope that we get to death without being too badly bruised, or we can live a full, complete life achieving our goals and realizing our wildest dreams”

Bob Proctor, self-made millionaire

A child showing fear

Fear is a natural emotional respond towards a threat, such as pain and danger. It is innate, which means that it is there since the day we were born, and it is there in every human beings anywhere, at anytime. It exists in the age where sabre-tooth tiger still roam the earth, and it still exist today in the modern world. The thing is, unlike 3000 years ago where sabre-tooth tiger could be lurking anywhere around the bush, the threats we face today are rarely life-threatening. Some of our fears aren’t even justifiable (a research done shows that 90% of what we fear and worry about never happens!), but the emotional respond towards it is the same as being face to face with a sabre-tooth tiger. We fear taking responsibilities, speaking in public, starting on a new project, asking for a raise, taking that exam, leaving a job that you hate, or even talking to that girl (or guy) that you feel that you’d spend the rest of your life with. I’m going to take speaking in public for example. Some people equate the thought of it to impending death (I’m serious). Just by thinking about it, a burst of adrenaline rushes through our veins, our hearts beats faster, our breaths become shallow, our hands become cold. This is our body response towards fear. Many people let these natural responds stop them from achieving their wildest dreams. Most people know that effectively conveying their ideas to others in a meeting, or in a speech, is necessary step towards a achieving their success, but because of fear, like a caveman confronted with a sabre-tooth tiger, they run away.

Now here’s the science behind fear. Fear, along with joy, sadness and anger are part of our basic or innate emotions. They are controlled by a small part of our brain called the amygdala.

The amygdala, in relation to other parts of the brain involved in fear response

Research has shown rats with toxoplasmosis, or simply put, a rat infected by a parasite that destroys their brain, specifically the amygdala, show less fear, including towards cats. (I think in the cartoon show ‘Tom & Jerry’, Jerry had his amygdala destroyed by toxoplasmosis). This behavior, as a consequence, makes them easily caught and eaten by cats. That’s lucky for the parasite, which uses cats as their permanent home. So what if we destroy our ‘fear centre’ in the amygdala so we’d be well on our way towards success? Yes, we’d be able to speak in public effortlessly, we’d leave the jobs that we hate in pursuit for a better one, and we’d go on and talk to that girl who we’d spend the rest of our lives with. However, we’d also be jumping out of skyscrapers without a parachute on a daily basis, believing we could fly, we’d go on for a leisure walk, found out and find a big fat guy across the street, and tell him: “Hey, I think you’re big, fat, and stupid”, and get a punch right in the face. So you see, destroying our fear doesn’t work. Fear is necessary. Yes, it is necessary, but don’t let it stop you from doing the things that are necessary for a better life!

So how do we overcome fear and do the necessary steps toward a better life? The first step is to realize that your fear is actually unfounded (skip this step if your fear is life-threatening, like the fear of jumping off an airplane without a parachute, or the fear of jumping into a pool full of crocodiles at the zoo). In 2004, a research was done at Columbia University where two groups of people were shown fear stimuli (like pictures of vampires, snakes, spiders, ghosts, you name it!) for different periods of times. One group, let’s name this group A, was shown the picture so fast and short in duration, that they didn’t get the chance to really observe and consciously think about them. The other, group B, was shown for a little longer period of time, giving the subject a little more time to consciously perceive the pictures. Researchers observed that the people in group B experienced less ‘fear activity’ in the amygdala. They are less fearful, although the fear stimuli is the same! Fear is almost entirely autonomic, or in other words, we don’t consciously trigger it. However, the research suggests that we can consciously control our fear responses by thinking and justifying the fear itself. The people in group B are less fearful because they consciously think and justify their fear and think: "This is not worth all the fear, they're just pictures", while the people in group A didn’t get the chance to do that. They rely on the autonomic fear response. This helps 3000 years ago when it is practical to just run away instead of observing the color of the sabre-tooth tiger, and what a sharp teeth it has, but today, running away from our daily fears is usually not live-saving. The monumental research on fears and our conscious control over it can be viewed here: http://cumc.columbia.edu/news/press_releases/hirsch_kandel_etkin_anxiety_neuron.html

So taking it into our daily lives, justify your fears. What would happen if you ask for that raise? The worst thing could happen is that you got rejected, and you’re salary is as it was before. No boss has ever cut an employee’s salary simple because he asked for a raise. You lose nothing. At least you tried, and your boss knows you wanted a raise, and would think about it in the future. What would happen if you asked someone out for a lunch, and you got rejected? You don’t have anyone to have lunch to begin with, and again, you lose nothing, and surely, you’re not dead! So think and justify your fears, tell your brain that it is okay to do scary things that’s necessary for a better you. When we think carefully about our fears instead of just letting it run its autonomic course, the ‘fear activity’ inside our amygdala decreases. We feel less fearful, and ready to take on life’s challenge!

Skeptical aren’t you? You may say: “I think it’s the 100th time I told myself I can speak in public, but how come I still can’t? What should I do?!” For some people, the above technique works, but for some other people, nothing else can be done but, in the words of the psychologist Susan Jeffers:

“Feel the fear and do it anyway”

If you can’t control your fears, so what, as long as you know what you’ll do is not life-threatening, feel the fear and do it anyway! Once you feel the fear and take the actions anyway, you’ll realize, right in the face, that your fears are unjustified. For instance, most people going on a roller coaster for the first time experience extreme fear. But once they did it a few times, they begin to feel the fun and joy in doing it and begin to say “Hey, that was so much fun, let’s do it again!” Now let’s see the science behind this. Going deeper into this structure we call amygdala, there is and area called the median forebrain bundle, or MFB in short. This is where we process our ‘rewards and punishment’. Reward, is when we get something that induces joy. For example, a mother taking a child out for an ice cream for helping her clean up the house. The ice cream is the reward for the action of ‘helping clean up the house’. This is processed by the child's MFB, and stimulates the amygdala to produce a feeling of joy. As a result, the child ends up doing more of the action (in this case, cleaning up the house) in the future, to get more rewards (ice cream). This is proven by experiments done on rats. In a rat cage, a lever is connected to an electrode, which in turn is connected to the MFB area of the rat’s brain. Every time this lever is pressed; it will stimulate the rat’s MFB. Soon, the rat will learn that pressing on the lever induces a satisfying feeling, or perhaps joy (we’ll never know what a rat feels), and it keeps on pressing on the lever again and again over 3000 times, ignoring the needs for food and sleep! How profound are our need for rewards and joy.

A rat electrically stimulated at the MFB area when it presses on the lever. It was reported that the rat repeatedly presses the leaver over 3000 times, ignoring food and sleep

Now let’s apply that science in real life. If you finally gather the courage to speak in public, felt the fear, but went on to speak anyway, how many people would tell you: “Dude, that was total disaster! I’ll never want to hear you speak in public again, go back to your cave or something!” Almost never, most people would complement your courage, tell you you’re good, tell you the things you could improve on, or by the least, say nothing. When you realize that the fear of speaking in public is unfounded, and it feels quite good to have your ideas across to everyone, little by little, you’ll feel the joy in it. Your brain will perceive it as a reward, and like a mouse in the cage experiment, you’d want to do it again and again! The cliché ‘first step is the hardest’ is true, but once you overcome the fear of the first step, nothing else will stop you.

So there it is, overcoming fear and the science behind it. As a conclusion, I’d like to say that running away from your fears is so 3000 year ago, so come on man let’s get out into this world! Life is too short to be living in fear.

Taking it home: I’ve always dreamed of being a doctor who inspires others towards a better life and a better health, mind and body. Writing and medicine are both my passion, so I’ve found that the right medium for achieving what I wanted is through writing. However, I still have my fears. Its natural isn’t it? I’m afraid if what I’ve written is too complicated, or didn’t make sense at all to you. So, if you sincerely find what I have written interesting or motivating, please leave a comment and stimulate my amygdala to produce joy, and, in the near future, do more of these writings. Thanks!

The Craziest Journey...Ever!

2010-04-04T03:09:00.007+08:00

The Takeoff

Have you’ve ever experienced a moment of total devastation, and then suddenly came a miracle, you couldn’t believe it you’d want to cry or laugh out hysterically?

I have

It was a fine morning on the 9th of February 2009. It was a date I’ve been waiting for over a year, ever since I received one of the most gleeful SMS informing my selection as one of the delegates to represent Indonesia to the Harvard National Model United Nations 2009 in Boston, USA. Our flight to the US was in the evening, and little I know, just a few moments before take-off, a series of unfortunate event waits.

By evening all 15 of us gathered at the Jakarta airport. We all got our documents ready for inspection. When the time for boarding comes, we lined up to have our passports checked. I was the only Malaysian in the group, so I was the only one lining up in the ‘Foreign Passports’ row. By the time I got to the Immigrations officer, the other delegates had already passed the checkpoint. I was the last, and as if I was not delayed enough, it took a long while for the officer to inspect my passport. “Is there a problem, Sir?” I asked, realizing that it was taking a lot more time than usual. “Yes…where is your Re-entry Permit?”. “My what?”… It took me awhile, but then I got the idea of what he’s asking. That was when my heart starts to beat really fast.

“Owh God! How could I forget!” I totally overlooked an important document I’m supposed to get. I was too dependent on the faculty advisors that I left all the documents handling to them. I thought everything was settled, but I forgot the fact that I there was one document I’m supposed to settle as a foreign national. The faculty advisors also overlooked it, but they are not to blame since this is the first time ever they’re having a foreign student as a delegate. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my vein when the officer told me this:

“You have to return back to Bandung, and get the documents settled in the morning”.

Return back to Bandung and get it settled in the morning? I’m on my way to one of the most important conferences in my life, a conference I’ve prepared for over a year, a conference I’ve worked my ass for, every single day of the last 9 months, and you tell me to come back tomorrow morning? One thing is that I would definitely miss my flight, second, I would have to reschedule my flight, which could be a great hassle, and the third thing is that it would definitely cost me more money as if I have not spend much enough for this trip. Fourth, and most importantly, it would mean I’d miss 1 or 2 days of the conference, and the conference is only for 3 days! I told myself: “I’ve been waiting so long for this, and I can’t just let this happen!” Me and my faculty advisors tried to talk this out with the officers, but they insisted on me getting the documents. I wouldn’t want them to miss their flights as well, so I told them to just go on without me, and convince them I’ll catch up later. So they all went on the plane, leaving me behind, all alone...

Devastated, I sat on the floor, waiting for my luggage to be returned to me, thinking of my ultimate bad luck. I was scared that there will be no more vacancy for tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow’s flight. This late, buying a ticket to the US is simply mad. I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it to the US at all! That would be crazy since the Ministry of Tourism Malaysia sponsored my flight tickets. What if they know I didn't even set foot in the US?

Finally accepting what just happened, I got a cab, and was on my way to return to Bandung. All the time inside the cab I was praying that everything will go well with the reschedule. I really hoped for a miracle. I really believed a miracle will happen. Then, when I was about half an hour away from the airport when I got a phone call. I was guessing it was my friend, but it’s not.

“Hello, Lutfi, this is…, your friend’s…, aunty”

That friend was one of the delegates which just took off. In my mind, I thought, ‘okay my friend’s aunty, how can you help me?’

“My nephew told me about the troubles you had at the airport. Don’t worry, I’ll help. My husband’s the head of Jakarta airport Immigration Officer, for now, you turn back to the airport, my husband has informed the officers that you will be having your documents made there at the airport. Everything will be settled. All you have to do is write an official letter to the Immigration later”

The head Immigration will help? It was like Bill Gates coming home to fix my computer! I was so thankful beyond expression; I don’t even know how to describe it. All I can say is that I was thankful to God. My prayers has been answered. Miracle happens I asked the cab to turn around, back to the airport, I went. The good thing is that our flight transits at Singapore, and our next flight to the US won’t lift off till the next morning. So I can meet the others at Singapore. Since I missed the first flight, I had to buy a new ticket.

But then, the nightmare just hadn't end yet...

There’s only ONE TICKET LEFT to Singapore, and it was 30 minutes before boarding! If I miss this flight, then I had to reschedule the whole journey! Might as well I came back in the morning as before. I thought to myself, 'I can't give up this far, a miracle just happened, so it will happen again!' So I just bought the ticket, which took the attendant quite a while to get (since it’s really last-minute), and things get real intense when I got only 5 minutes to check-in, and the check-in counter is at the one end of the airport, and here I am at the other end! It guess the distance is about 500 m.

The attendant ask me to run. So I did. I ran the whole way with my luggage, and turned the heads of everybody I passed by. I made it right on time, but I guess bad news never ends. They told me I had to run again, because the fights is lifting off in 5 minutes. The people really rushed their work, got my documents done, I ran to the gate. I remembered that I was really gasping for air right before reaching the gate. I’ve never ran that hard in a while, and bringing the extra luggage made me more exhausted than ever.

I passed through the gate just minutes before it closes, and that was when I felt that my bad day ends. I took the flight to Singapore, and met the others there. My faculty adviser was very relieved to see me, and the first thing I told her was: “I just went through hell…and survived”

Sunrise, sunrise!

2010-03-29T07:17:00.009+08:00

I've discovered that best time to do yesterday's hardest things that you decide to put off until today is early in the morning. When last night it seemed like a huge, highly challenging task, in the morning, it seemed a lot less. Same work, different time, different perception, different results. Isn't human psychology weird? But that's how it works.

Think of your days as an ascend on a hot air balloon with yourself and weights on it. It'd be wise to throw down the heaviest weights early during the flight. Makes sense, doesn't it? The earlier you get rid if the heavy weights, the lighter your journey will be. Same as the heavy tasks you hold in your to-do lists. Get rid of them earlier, and the easier your day will be. Some people put off the biggest tasks for the last. Hoping it will suddenly disappear or seem lighter at the end of the day. Well I'm here to say it rarely will!

So do your biggest tasks in the morning. There's something magical about the morning, don't you think? I think everyone loves the morning, it's the starting of a brand new day. No matter how miserable yesterday might seem, today we can start the day with happiness. It's scientifically true. The morning is where your cortisol (a.k.a your 'stress hormones') stays at its lowest levels of the day, and even light exercises can boost your endogenous endorphins a.k.a your happy hormones (source: http://www.ca-medicalnews.com/tag/endorphin). So wake up early, do a little stretching, enjoy the sunrise, (if you're a big fan of coffee like me, enjoy a shot of espresso too!) and go get those hardest works done!

Here's a song by Norah Jones called 'Sunrise' which is a great song to enjoy your morning with:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb_a0K01t2Q

Typical Sunday morning at my balcony. In this picture: (from top to bottom) Morning sky, majestic mountain, intense coffee, superb spaghetti. Not in this photo: The sun rising, the sound of river flowing down below, windy weather, me singing along to 'Sunrise' by Norah Jones.

Lessons Learned

2010-02-14T10:46:00.007+08:00

38th Annual General Meeting of PKPMI-CB. Me on the podium

It has been a year since the post 'Experience is the Best Teacher'. Time flies so fast, a year has passed, and yesterday was the end of my term as Chairperson of the Malaysian Student Association. So, was 'experience the best teacher' for the past one year? Yes, sirree! Here are the top 10 lessons I've learned through experience:

A small act is actually larger than the biggest dreams, so it's okay to dream big, but start small. Like, asking?
Doing something, even small things is better than sitting down worrying. Worrying is like a rocking chair, you know. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere
Not everyone thinks like you. Even if you think it's the most obvious thing, another person would think it isn't. The beauty of diversity. So, as what Stephen Covey always say: seek first to understand, then to be understood
Nothing is easier than talking, but nothing is harder than walking the talk. So, always under promise but over deliver
Leadership ain't a popularity contest. You don't make the popular decision for people to like you, you make the right decision. You'll have your critics, of course, but so what? They won't show up at your deathbed anyway
Get fit to lead, it's so depressing when you're sick but have so much things to do
Take a break once in awhile
Success don't last forever, but experience do. So don't become obsessed with past glory, but use the experiences to tackle new challenges with the spirit of a beginner
The past, however glorious or miserable it is, is still the past. Today is a new beginning. That's why its called the 'present'
Life is too short to be miserable!

The Korean Language Barrier

2010-02-05T01:41:00.008+08:00

My lens was focused on the old Korean man. He was talking to my father, I thought of taking a candid. But suddenly, he turned to me and asked

"What are you doing?"

"Uh...I'm sorry?"

"What are you doing?" The man asked again with a serious face. I heard him the first time but I just wanted to be sure.

"Taking your picture?" The man gave me a puzzled face. In my mind, I thought ‘is it illegal to take pictures without permission here? Wait, I’m not in North Korea am I? This is the democratic South!’

"He's doing medicine" my dad said

“Ah, like father like son, good, good!” he laughed

So that was what he meant. Having just eaten the most bizarre food ever, now I just heard the weirdest way to ask what I’m studying. But that's Korea. Their English can be quite confusing. Like earlier we went to a bread shop and I asked the shopkeeper: "What's this filled with?" The girl looked at me, took out her cell phone in a rush, and started typing. ‘Okay, I’m asking a question here and this is the best time to message her mom?’. I didn't really mind, but as I turned away, she called

"Mister, mister"

“Yes?”

“Pain-eppol-jem”

“What?” I asked. She looked at her cell phone, and said the weird word again: “Pain-eppol-jem”

That was when I realized, she was actually looking through the dictionary in her cell phone. It was ‘pineapple jam’. She was talking about the bread filling. So, as I said before, that’s Korea.

The old man was a doctor, a friend of my dad. He invited us for a lunch at a Korean cuisine restaurant in downtown Seoul. So we had all these weird foods with weird names served in front of us: Kimchi, Kimbap, Kongbap, Bibimbap. The only food wasn’t there was ‘Bapbi’, (thank you).

At the restaurant. The old man at the back was the one I was talking about. See his serious facial expression as he looked at the camera?

My sisters were all excited since the foods were similar to the ones in their favorite Korean series: Boys over Flowers. For me, the only familiar food was ‘Chap-chai’ because it’s all over Indonesia: Cap cai ayam, cap cai daging, cap cai cumi, you name it! So we ate all of it, took more pictures (now I know that it is legal), and went back to our hotel.

The next morning, we went skiing. At the counter where we got our skiing gears, was a young woman. My sisters thought she looked a lot 'Chiang Jinn' from Jewel in The Palace series. I saw some of the episodes on NTV 7 and I had to agree. Anyway, we asked whether there will be a transport for carrying all these gears to the skiing spot. I thought she understood, but suddenly she took a snowboard on her shoulders, and began walking towards the exit. Did what we just asked translate into ‘hey you should go skiing now’ in Korean? But then, before reaching the door, she turned and walked back to where she had started. She was looking at us the whole time she was walking. Not looking towards where she’s going, like a crab, can you imagine that? Then, she said:

"Ok?"

‘What ok?’ I thought

“I think she meant we should return the snowboard after using” my sister suggested

“No, I think she meant the snowboard's not heavy, we can carry it by ourselves” I said

Then she did the motion again, to the door, and back again.

“I think she‘s actually a crab cursed into a human. Like in Little Mermaid, just this time Ursula sent Sebastian the Lobster”

After awhile, she pointed out the window, towards a signboard which reads: Starhill Ski Resort: 100m.

We understood. She was trying to say that the skiing spot is near, we don’t need a transport for all the gears, and we can just walk there. Oh, Koreans, I had a great time in your country, especially playing charade with you guys =D

At Gyeongbokgung Palace. Probably the place where they shot 'Jewel in the Palace'

Time's Always Time On My Mind

2010-02-04T10:47:00.016+08:00

A Street in Paris

“Good evening, Monsieur, going out late tonight?”

As I left the keys to the Hötelier, I checked my watch and realized it was nearly midnight.I smiled and replied,

“Yep, meeting a friend just down the street”

“Okay then, it’s nearly midnight, be careful Monsieur”

"Merci" I said, and walked out the door. It was a cold & dark winter night. I remembered these streets of Paris were lively during the day, but that night it seemed eerily silent. To be honest, I felt anxious walking down the street most foreign to me this late all by myself. But the knowledge that a friend would be waiting just down the street kept me going. It was a coincidence that this old friend of mine was in Paris that night. Though he studies in France, his University was hours away from the city. That night, him having landed from a London trip, we had the chance to meet.

Just a few minutes after I arrived at Guy Möquet Metro Station, my friend appeared with his wife. They had been married for almost a year, and it had almost been 5 years since the last time I saw him, the day we graduated from MRSM Jasin. I remembered that day we were confident we’d see each other again. In fact, I was confident I’d meet most of my friends again. But I guess once we go separate ways, it’s hard for us to get around to it. However, life is determined by chains of events, and sometimes paths cross at the most unexpected times. Who would’ve thought we'd meet that night, in a foreign land, at the most unexpected time.

“Hallamak ai, dah besar ko ye? (Wow, you sure have grown up)!” I said, and greeted his wife

“Ko pon same! (You too!)” was his reply

That was my favorite quote when meeting a friend I haven’t met for a long time. To think back, so many things have changed for the last 5 years. We’ve grown up physically, but inside, we've changed a lot more. We took the Metro to an Indian Restaurant at La Chapelle, and as what most people would talk about when meeting a long lost friend, we talk about our lives, about the friends we used to know, and how they’re doing lately.

Along the journey of life, I’ve met many people. If not for social networking sites, I wouldn’t have known how they're doing these days. Time flies so fast it scares me. Hours do turn to days, days do turn to weeks, and weeks to years. We get older each and every day. Some of my friends are getting married, some are already married with children, some had just started working, some, like me, are still struggling with our studies. Some are at the top, some are pulled down. But at 23, there’s still a lot more to go through. Maybe someday we’ll get big jobs, make big money, appear on the headlines. At that time, would we look back at our past and attribute it to what we do in our younger days?

I believe each day is a whole life in miniature. The things we do, the books we read, the food we eat all determines what we will be in the future. Sleep a lot today and you might be sleepwalking all through your future life. Read a lot and do things that matter today and you might be a more successful person in the future than you can ever imagine. Most successful people in life are not merely gifted, they take little steps each and every day towards their dream. Each second of their young life matters. As the days turn to into weeks, the weeks into years, before they knew it, thanks to those daily little steps, they're living their dream.

We talked for quite a long while. When we ran out of things to talk about, I realized it was already late night. I had to go, the Metro would stop operating soon, I also had a train to catch the next morning to London. So as we parted, we bid: “See you again in a few years”. I gave it a thought, a few years from now, what would my life be like?

The Cat That Was Human

2010-02-02T09:43:00.001+08:00

Once there was a cat so convinced he's human. We called him Bambang. There were 8 of us in the house, and each of us has our own story of how we met Bambang for the first time. Mine was when I sat alone, minding my own business, when he came out of nowhere and sat on my lap. I was alone. He figured that I need company. That was when I met him for the first time. I took my guitar, played him a song by Cat Stevens just because the name of that singer fits, and welcomed him into my room

Bambang officially became the 9th member of the house after Azhar Hussein gave him a bath, (although he hated it), Hadi Fadhil gave him Friskies (he prefers it to be served in the dustbin), and after Ismayudin Ismail hated him for voiding in front of his room. Before long, we noticed that Bambang has some typical human behavior: he watches TV on the couch, sleeps on our beds, eats chicken steak from Clemmons, drinks Sprite and tried to joke around with us. I remembered once I woke in the middle of the night and heard the TV was still on. So I went down to turn it off, but Bambang was there on the couch, the remote beside him, staring into the TV screen attentively at David Letterman. His face was serious as always, which was why we never got his jokes.

Another day, I went into the toilet and saw him there, drinking from the toilet bowl. Bambang liked to lick our fingers, and drinking from the toilet bowl seems inappropriately human, so I taught him to drink from the pipe water instead. I told him sometimes people drink from the pipe water too, so he agreed to change his habits. When he knew that humans either go to work or school, Bambang decided to become a house guard. When we all went for lectures, he would sit in front of the door, protecting the house from thieves until we return. I think he liked his job very much, and did it well too. So we'd pay him with more Friskies. Each day, Bambang grew fatter and fatter, which offered him a second job: working as a pillow. Bambang didn't mind even when the heavy weighted Faizul Ramli used him as a pillow.

But now Bambang is gone. Nobody knows where he went to. Nooraishah Saadon told me that it is a common thing for a male cat to disappear for awhile to fight with other male cats, expanding their territory. But I think Bambang is smarter than that. I believe his humanlike instincts brought him to places humans go: studying overseas, joining the army, or simply having a family

Bambang

Leaders!

2009-11-13T02:43:00.008+08:00

Last month, on my birthday, I had the chance to have lunch with the Minister of Youth and Sports, Dato' Shabery Cheek (he even served some of my foods, how cool is that?). Next week, the Deputy Prime Minister, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin will be coming, and I will have the chance to escort him playing golf. I look forward to it. I like meeting our country's leaders.

The first time I saw Tun Mahathir in person was when I was 9 years old, at a Disney On Ice Malaysian Premiere. He was still the Prime Minister at that time. Then, just a few years ago I saw him again at Isetan KLCC. He was shopping alone with one of his bodyguard, smiling at me and every other people who caught the sight of him. Very humbling, if you ask me.

Tun Mahathir

Then there's Pak Lah, which I met when I was in Standard 3. He came for Friday prayers at a mosque near my house. He was just a minister at the time, with no one having the slightest idea he'd be the Prime Minister one day. I rushed to him straight after he left the mosque and went 'Pak Cik, nak tanda tangan boleh?'. He smiled, and signed an autograph on my mathematics exercise book. I swear I called him Pak Cik because one of my seniors was there too and called me an idiot afterwards for calling a minister Pak Cik. But well, what do kids know about titles and reputations? For them, as long as u look old, we'll call you Pak Cik. If you look terribly old, then we'll call you Atok. Simple as that. People call him Pak Lah anyway, so what's the difference?

Pak Lah

Then when I was 15, I met our current Prime Minister Dato' Seri Najib Tun Razak after tarawikh prayers in Masjid Wilayah. He was a minister at the time. My dad happens to treat his ear problem once, and so after the prayers my dad met him to ask how's his ear now. They talked for awhile and I did had the chance to shake his hands.

Dato' Seri Najib Tun Razak

I respect the people who lead our nation. As long as they work for a better future for our country, I don't care what's their party, their ideology, or their type of leadership is. Someone entrusted to be a the leader of the country must have fought a long battle to gain the support of the Malaysian citizens. I may not be a politician or a minister one day, but I do hope I'd be a doctor who treats the most important leaders in our country.

Now, now, I guess I left someone here. There's a leader that I respected the most in my life. Even the Kings and Prime Ministers are low key in comparison towards my respect of him. The first time I met him was 22 years ago. Yup, on the day I was born. A leader of the house, the family, the hospital, the university, the medical faculty: Dato' Dr. Lokman Saim... my dear dad. Once he told me to be a better person than him when I grow up. At that time, I thougt that was the craziest idea, I thought I'll never be as good as him. But I hold on to his words until today, and I'm still working on that idea. As your one and only son, I hope I'll never disappoint you, ayah.

My dad

The Leafy Sea Dragon

2009-10-29T08:17:00.004+08:00

The Leafy Sea Dragon

It's holiday, and I'm broke, so I'm not coming back to Malaysia, or going to Bali or anywhere people usually go for holiday. Instead, I go to a place people would run away from on holidays: The bustling city of Jakarta. Yep, can you believe it? But the transport's real cheap, so...Jakarta it is. Anyway, we went to Ancol, one of the funnest place to be in Jakarta. There, we went to Seaworld, where there were a lot of fishes, and saw real sea creatures which I wouldn't know existed if not because of Spongebob Squarepants. (Spongebob himself is actually a sponge and I see it quite often in the kitchen).

Anyway, I'd like to tell you how fascinated I was towards this sea creature called 'The Leafy Sea Dragon'. They are relatives to sea horses, but believe me, these creatures are a lot more cool looking! They look a lot more like a sea plant than an animal at first glance, with the exoskeleton of a white seahorse, sprouting green fins which looked exactly like leaves. I thought only insects looked like plants (I saw a praying mentis which looked exactly like an orchid flower once, and was fascinated as much). I was so mesmerized by this creature that other things I saw in Seaworld like the Piranha eating their prey in just one minute, or the Sharks swimming around in circles are low key in comparison. I think in Pokémon, Horsea should evolve into a Seadra, then into a Kingdra, and ultimately, into a LEAFY SEA DRAGON!

My point is, how mystical the Almighty's creatures are. I think Darwinian evolutionists are stupid enough to think that an animal could evole into something that looked like a plant by mere chance. There must be a Creator, the Great Designer of all things, the Designer of Life. So we, as the so called 'greatest of His creations' should take responsibility in protecting other living creatures. Like seahorses and sea dragons!...okay, sharks and dugongs too. So...I think I'm gonna save the environment! Like the late MJ used to sing: 'Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me, and the entire human races...if you care enough for the living, let's make a better place for you and for me'

Happy moments in Jakarta